iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
20,053 Blog Posts

Maybe “The Fly” Needs a Bailout

It’s a lunatic market. What else is there to say?

Stocks go up, when they’re supposed to go down and vice versa.

One thing is abundantly clear: The bears are a bunch of old pussies, unable to ride a bicycle without training wheels, let alone drive this market lower.

Bottom line: [[POT]] is booking for $200. Retail stocks climb, despite a dead consumer. Bank stocks gain, on the backs of deceased lines of credit. In total, with the exception of a handful of tech names, the market is barely down, year to date.

This is supposed to be a “bear market” with a recessionary economy. However, investors are treating it like 1999 on vitamin B-12 injections—during boom time.

With the small amount of money I have left, I will throw money at homeless men in Manhattan.

UPDATE: The near Godly folks at iNo.com have agreed to give a free subscription, to the winner of the “Final Four” contest, offering two of their paid services for one year—with a total value is $548. Click on the myriad of of iNo ads for details (no, I do not get paid per click). More on this later.

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36 comments

  1. Danny

    Hey Fly, GBT does to the nasdaq tomorrow as ABAT, see you there.

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  2. Big Mike

    Fuck it…I’m going long to hedge my inverse etf’s exposure via DBA (soybean, corn, sugar, wheat), RJZ (every fuckin metal there is).

    I dont understand why the fuck the likes of GM, KO, MSFT went up…

    So, evidently bailing out monoliners help auto-makers ehh?The fuck do I know? According to this market…not much

    Anybody have any stock ideas to go “long” just long enough to ride this upside momentum? We did break upwards out of the wedge range.

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  3. CubsRock

    I really want to say something…. but I’m all out of coupons. How bout a dance instead?

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  4. Sir Douchebag

    bear market rallies are always sharper, more severe and insane than bull market rallies — fueled by short covering and manipulating syndicates in backrooms.

    It’s ‘insane’ because ‘smart’ money is shorting what should be fish in a barrel. Ambac news is about as helpful to the long term economy as Greenspan spanking it out over Bartiromo’s face.

    Always short during the pure insanity. Always cover when you are planning to go out and rent hookers with your huge gains. Swing swing it goes.

    As soon as SRS and SKF stop orders are triggered this week — another 2 points down on both… it should be over.

    But never underestimate the retardedness of the machine that runs the game.

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  5. ottnott

    The market is making a lot of sense here.

    Also, Ralph Nader will be our next President.

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  6. newequity

    You ‘dug’ yourself into a deep ass hole, first step is stop digging.

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  7. Dogwood

    …as helpful to the long term economy as Greenspan spanking it out over Bartiromo’s face.

    I must now drink myself into a drunken stupor in an attempt to erase that image from my brain. Thanks Douche.

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  8. JakeGint

    Dog, better than vice versa.

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  9. The Fly

    I just threw all of my remaining coin at three homeless men, near the Chrysler building.

    Developing…

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  10. JakeGint

    Nice architectural touch.

    Silver on silver.

    ______________________

    Fear not, you will be “replenished” tomorrow, as we just hit the “air gap” where the engine stalls right before the death spiral.

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  11. Danny

    Goddammit Danny, you have a beautiful name, it rolls off the tongue.

    Odds are you are quite popular in your podunk town.

    However, for the love of fuck, change your handle.

    I cannot have someone with my name, on a site I help author, reccing the stock that literally defines ‘homo” in the dictionary.

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  12. TraderCaddy

    I thought Chrysler sold their building when they filed Bankruptcy and that is why NYC homeless types hang out there.

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  13. JakeGint

    You two shouldn’t have gotten in that lover’s spat.

    You know how spiteful “you people” can be.

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  14. JakeGint

    TC — Chrysler has not owned the Chrysler Building in yarons.

    Parsecs, even.

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  15. TraderCaddy

    Sorry. Thanks for the info. The last time I was in NYC was about twenty years ago doing a deposition at some building (Rockefeller?). I saw the airport, the taxi, the building and a whole bunch of strange people walking around. Next time I would like to actually see something.

    Cool on the INO.com. If I had known that I would have gotten serious and picked the winner for the Final Four.

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  16. kd

    Fly,
    I didn’t get to register, how do I get in?
    thanks.

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  17. JakeGint

    Rock Center is a landmark and if you looked across the street you’d have seen St. Patrick’s Cathedral.

    A place for godly folk, Boomer not invited.

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  18. The Fly

    too late.

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  19. JakeGint

    A metaphor for the market?

    Actually, there’s probably about ten metaphors for the market in this one… just pick and choose…

    ________________

    An elderly woman walked into the Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money.

    After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president’s office.
    The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit. She placed her purse on his desk and replied, “$165,000”. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money. The elderly woman replied that she made bets.

    The president was surprised and asked, “What kind of bets?”

    The elderly woman replied, “Well, for example… I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.”

    The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that.

    The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, “Would you like to take my bet?”

    “Certainly”, replied the president. “I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.”
    “Done”, the elderly woman answered. “But given the amount of money involved, if you don’t mind I would like to come back at 10 o’clock tomorrow
    morning with my lawyer as a witness.”

    “No problem”, said the president of the Bank confidently.

    That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

    The next morning at exactly 10 o’clock the elderly woman arrived at the president’s office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president’s testicles were square.

    The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly.

    The president was happy to oblige.

    The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. “Of course”, said the president. “Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.”

    The elderly woman did so with a little smile.

    Suddenly, the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall.

    The Bank president asked the elderly woman why the lawyer was doing that and she replied, “Oh, it’s probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o’clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Bank of Canada !”

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  20. nncoco

    Just received a spam with this line as the subject:

    “Save on Top Designer Brands Shoes Uggs Gucci Chanel Prada Dior”

    UGGS was listed before Gucci Chanel Prada & Dior which I find interesting.

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  21. Q4

    Douchebag:

    Forget Greenspan, I’ll donkey punch Bartiromo.
    ______________

    My short term trades crashed today.

    “I’m officially the biggest midget in the game.” Fuck You.

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  22. Juice

    great joke Jake!

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  23. FREE BOOMER! COALITION
    FREE BOOMER! COALITION

    Hungry Strike Update:

    We just received a note from BOOMER, written on the peel of a half eaten orange. A very small, dry orange. BOOMER needs your support. He caloric deficiency may cause him to lose weight. This a frightening development.

    ___________

    Dearest Supporters,

    Today I ate half of my lunch, leaving me less than fully satisfied, and, technically, still hungry. My lunch consisted of a small cup of soup, a plain turkey sandwich, and a dry orange.

    I am so hungry. I miss Quizno’s and my favorite mexican place with the free chips. I used to be able to eat until I was satisfied, but now…now my suffering feels something like having gone on a long run on an empty stomach, or even skipping breakfast.

    I don’t want to be dramatic and worry you, but I may go so far saying I feel like I could eat a horse.

    I don’t know how long I can continue without some sort of delicatessenary intervention.

    The suffering is unprecedented.

    Thank you for your support.

    PS – BOTD smells very strange. He has plenty to eat but he does not bathe. He smells like salsa, which only makes me crave mexican food all the more.

    BOOMER

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  24. The Fly

    May Boomer enjoy his blood money.

    Nothing good shall come from it.

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  25. JakeGint

    Judas money is what it is.

    Thirty shekels of silver, sho nuff.

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  26. Chief_Rottingtooth
    Chief_Rottingtooth

    ….a couple of questions:
    1.) Whatever happened to Randolph Mantooth?
    2.) Is it true that “the Fly”, while taking a shower, sings “I shot the Sheriff, but I did not shoot the Deputy”..?
    ………of course………he substitutes “I shot the Sheriff”…with…..” (whomsoever) shit the shower, but……..etc.etc”…….
    3.) Why doesn’t the fly sell trading diapers?

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  27. JakeGint

    Boom,

    You made a big mistake screwing with the Catholics on this Lent thing.

    Absolution not granted.

    _________

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  28. Woodshedder

    Jake is now the high-pliestess of the Cathorics?

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  29. BOOMER

    I’m not sure how my own story could cause such an offense, but I am sorry if I offended you or anyone else Jake.

    The post was from my heart, and I am merely being honest with my journey. In hindsight, it may have been too personal and revealing for this forum.

    It’s been taken care of it.

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  30. Woodshedder

    Boomer, where did your PG post go?

    Man, if you deleted that, what a travesty. That was some really really good reflection through writing. I was enjoying the journey with you.

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  31. JakeGint

    Doubly fucked up.

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  32. JakeGint

    Q4 — I actually watched that whole thing, and I can’t stand any kind of racing.

    Those dudes are crazy.

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  33. QLDsucksmyass

    has anybody been burned by tracking error? nasdaq was up 1.0% while QLD was only up .4%! what the fuck…..this broken fucking ETF is supposed to be 2x nasdaq or 2.0% in today’s case.

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  34. Uncle Jimmy

    Fly,
    Any etf’s long: cotton, sugar, coffee, silver, palladium, reminbi, swiss franc? yen (FXY)

    Fly’s right – the only guy who can get away w wearing a bow tie:
    http://tinyurl.com/ywfm9o

    Other – gold mining stocks due to rise according to David Galland of Casey Research
    Their hedges have been unwound & the capital investments needed to rev production have been made. Now the cash will flow.

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  35. nncoco

    I used to photograph motorcycles for Suzuki. They would have pro riders there for me and sadly, all of them were a bit slow from banging their heads on pavement at 90MPH.

    One guy told me that when they fall off the bike they usually slide. They tap the ground before they start to stand to make sure they aren’t actually going 30MPH. If you try to stand early, you roll and break bones.

    Crazy fucking people.

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  36. ottnott

    With those damn suits, we could develop an alternative to personal automobiles for commuting.

    Put the suit on, climb into the cannon, and Boom!, off you go down the freeway at 90mph. There would be booster cannons every 1/4 mile.

    Rain, snow, and ice would mean shorter commutes, not longer.

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