After reading Barry’s rant on how stupid all of you (internet leech) are, “The Fly” felt like adding a few gold coins to the argument.
Basically, Barry doesn’t like you third tier bloggers emailing him anything. Also, he doesn’t like blogs that sound like his (Big Picture), check this. I wonder what jerk off would go through the trouble of making that blog? Geez.
Anyway, to sum up Barry’s post, while adding a few of my own salient points, “The Fly” will give you 8 fucking rules to obey.
1. Don’t ever name blogs that sound like Fly, Monster, Oatmeal, Mustache or Chicken Wings. If you choose to do so, like this fucking oatmeal blog, “The Fly” will NEVER grace you with linkage.
2. If you fucking beg to be on my blogroll, I’ll have your mustache punched off. It’s that simple.
3. Don’t email me anything. I do not want to be invited to your fucking low-end parties, geeky web discussions– or desire any offers to advertise on my site. I don’t need your stupid, dirty internet money. Failure to adhere to these rules will result in the destruction of your website or lead to your arrest, via law enforcement.
4. No, I won’t introduce you to the Wu-Tang Clan.
5. Never invite me to your social networking sites. Just know this, “The Fly” hates people. Therefore, inviting him to places where people can be found is always a bad idea.
6. Should you have the balls to send me an email with an attachment, just know: “The Fly” will reply with a fucking virus from hell, which will melt your hard drive like a cheap candle– within seconds of opening it.
7. Before emailing me information, understand, I already know about that shit. Don’t you get it already? “The Fly” is a fucking space alien magician, who possesses both “calculator brain” and “time machine.”
8. Don’t send me real, semi-real or fake links. Also, never even think about sending me old news or future news. As you know, I already know it. However, it’s worth noting, I will accept “breaking news.” Never mail me food, clothes, jewelry or anything that may carry germs. Finally, never question who tested and validated “The Fly’s” IQ of 155, and whether he can read 800 words per minute or not. Failure to follow my suggestions will result in your house falling into a sinkhole. And, you may lose money.
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I don’t mind getting email from bloggers. What I hate is getting the dozen or so bullshit blogroll exchange requests I get each day from wankers.
Its spam, based on a dishonest premise. Your blogroll should be places you go to regularly, not a misleading scam to troll for traffic.
“Hey, we don’t know each other or read each others blogs, but lets all collectively exchange blog links to raise our google page ranks! This way, our splogs (Spam Blogs) can get some trafffic and sell google ads.”
That’s crap, and those who enagage in it are pencil-dicked arses.