Here I am, mid-fucking-air, and I have some ranting to do. First off, the only game I can watch is the Jets. Let’s be honest, the Jets haven’t been the same since Flash Gordon retired. Regardless, I’m watching, my rant though? Just wait a second. As I was going through the body scanner, I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of perverted individual volunteers for that job. Also, please note I am writing this on my phone.

So, why does everything have to be so small? The seats on this plane are brutal, so brutal in fact, that I can’t get out my 17″ laptop (it’s not big to me). My “relaxed fit” slacks might as well be leggings. This one really boggles my mind, large and extra large boxer briefs have 14 and 15in leg openings, respectively. Mine are 30in, so wtf? I constantly feel punished for working my ass off to be a better athlete. I constantly have loose fitting pants at the waist, that are then skin tight on the thighs. I have 6 or 7 pairs of True Religion and Rock and Republic jeans I’m going to have to give away, because I can’t even slide my legs in –and that’s not considering my ghetto booty. I think I’m gonna try me some Wranglers, and everything else is going to have to be custom tailored….. including my socks.

EDIT: I have a cheese plate and Marzen on the way.