Mid Air Rhino Rant


Here I am, mid-fucking-air, and I have some ranting to do. First off, the only game I can watch is the Jets. Let’s be honest, the Jets haven’t been the same since Flash Gordon retired. Regardless, I’m watching, my rant though? Just wait a second. As I was going through the body scanner, I couldn’t help but wonder what kind of perverted individual volunteers for that job. Also, please note I am writing this on my phone.

So, why does everything have to be so small? The seats on this plane are brutal, so brutal in fact, that I can’t get out my 17″ laptop (it’s not big to me). My “relaxed fit” slacks might as well be leggings. This one really boggles my mind, large and extra large boxer briefs have 14 and 15in leg openings, respectively. Mine are 30in, so wtf? I constantly feel punished for working my ass off to be a better athlete. I constantly have loose fitting pants at the waist, that are then skin tight on the thighs. I have 6 or 7 pairs of True Religion and Rock and Republic jeans I’m going to have to give away, because I can’t even slide my legs in –and that’s not considering my ghetto booty. I think I’m gonna try me some Wranglers, and everything else is going to have to be custom tailored….. including my socks.

EDIT: I have a cheese plate and Marzen on the way.

10 Responses to “Mid Air Rhino Rant”

  1. Easy solution on the pants, ditch those damn skinny jeans-style and buy relaxed fit..haha.

  2. lol…did you spend a while at the bar before boarding?

  3. Yeah, I got a 17″ laptop and it’s always a challenge on the plane to get it out and put it away. I try to only pick isle seats now as that gives me more room to get the laptop out.

    And of course, the tablet user next to me gives me a smug look as he simply slides his ipad out of the seat pocket.

  4. ” because I can’t even slide my
    legs in -and thats not considering my
    ghetto booty.”

    Try shopping at


    9 out of 10 brothers would agree.

  5. I too have the big thigh syndrome. I feel you man. I have a few pair of True Religion and I love them. One isn’t so lax, the other two are and fit great, even though on anyone else they would look like I’m from the hood cause they fit well.

    Keep up the good fight my man.

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