Late Night Burglarizing Around the Web with Le Fly

While the lot of you no comments having bloggers were asleep like babies counting sheep, Le Fly was out in the night, armed with a crowbar, busting into your blogs to rewrite your fucking titles. I’m sure you all went to great lengths to create those idiotic titles, lamenting over the SEO and Twitter appeal that they’d have on the masses. I’m straight up Jiggly-puffing your web blogs, while you snore.

Zerohedge: Trump, the 2nd Amendment, and the Catamite Media

Daily Reckoning: Gold Will Replace Life Itself! (sourced from a super-duper secret ‘Goldfinger’ fellow in Switzerland)

Ritholtz: Donald Trump is a Lying, Tax Evading, Motherfucker

Reformed Broker: Zika Scares Me, But Not As Much as Fake Zombie Movies

Calculated Risk: Reminiscing Over a Glass of Scotch of the Good Olde Days When People Lost Their Jobs

Mish Talks: Negative Interest Rates Is the Stupidest Shit Ever

Krugman: Pining For the Catastrophe Days of 2011…Because I’m Rich

Naked Capitalism: Economists Don’t Understand Negative Interest Rates Because They’re Delusional Baboons

Financial Sense: Have a BEEYR (burp) With a Girl Named TINA–STOCKS TO THE FUCKING MOON!!!

Wolf Street: Twitter is the First Domino to Fall In What Will Be Described As the Greatest Fucking San FranSicko Office Collapse

Abnormal Returns: Fred Wilson Likes to Create Bubbles

Howard Lindzon: The Market is So Bullish, I’m Buying Marijuana Stocks

Business Insider: #TEAMHILLARY is Collecting Donations from Disaffected Globalist GOPers Who Trump Wouldn’t Piss On, if Lit Aflame

Dealbreaker: Louis Bacon Battles it Out with His Gay Neighbor and is Then Privacy Raped By Members of the Parliament of Bahamas

Marketwatch: Oil Prices are Fucking Doomed, According to Some Guy We Interviewed

ReCode: Facebook Disapproves of Ad Blockers and Will Force Their Users to See Their Fucking Ads, Whether They Like it or Not

Tech Crunch: Facebook Just Cut Snapchat’s Dick Off

Venturebeat: New Nerdy Shit Out of the Pokemon Go Universe, UPDATES ABOUND!!!

This is a very awkward tight rope for Assange to cross. If indeed Seth Rich was the source of the DNC leaks, then we all know why he was murdered. On the otherhand, if Assange were to blow the whistle on this important fact, it might serve as a deterrent against future leakers to come public with information. Remember, Assange isn’t trying to get Trump elected. Bringing down Hillary, by pursuing the “Seth Rich was killed because of DNC leaks,” might prove to be extremely detrimental to Assange’s organization.

In this interview, he didn’t flat out say it. But any person with an IQ north of 85 can sure as hell figure out what he’s suggesting.

Julian Assange: Whistleblowers go to significant efforts to get us material and often very significant risks. As a 27 year-old, works for the DNC, was shot in the back, murdered just a few weeks ago for unknown reasons as he was walking down the street in Washington.

Reporter: That was just a robbery, I believe. Wasn’t it?

Julian Assange: No. There’s no finding. So… I’m suggesting that our sources take risks.

Shares of YELP are screaming higher in the after-hours and for good reason. The company was scheduled to finish last in the race and instead BROKE THE FUCKING LEGS AND ARMS OF THEIR COMPETITORS and finished first.

I am quite biased when it comes to YELP, being an avid user of the service and believer in the long term prospects for this magnificent company. Bearshitters like to deride the company as some piece of shit, Google waste product. In fact, Google tried to buy them years ago and Steve Jobs begged Jeremy Stoppleman to not sell out to them. Correctly, Jobs cited the Google people to be evil dick sucking bastards, who wanted to rule the world with iron, gay, fists.

Stoppleman will be having none of that for the eloquent and Liberace styled world of fine dining.

For now, the company is free and independent from the social media oligarchy of Facebook-Google.

Reports Q2 (Jun) earnings of $0.16 per share, $0.01 better than the Capital IQ Consensus of $0.15; revenues rose 29.5% year/year to $173.4 mln vs the $169.8 mln Capital IQ Consensus.

Co issues upside guidance for Q3, sees Q3 revs of $180-184 mln vs. $179.59 mln Capital IQ Consensus Estimate. Adjusted EBITDA is expected to be in the range of $24 million to $28 million. Stock-based compensation is expected to be in the range of $21 million to $23 million, and depreciation and amortization is expected to be approximately 5% of revenue.

Co issues upside guidance for FY16, sees FY16 revs of $700-708 mln vs. $698.94 mln Capital IQ Consensus Estimate. Adjusted EBITDA is expected to be in the range of $100 million to $108 million. Stock-based compensation is expected to be in the range of $85 million to $87 million, and depreciation and amortization is expected to be approximately 5% of revenue.

Valuation wise, the stock is inexpensive, trading just 4x sales. Bear in mind, this is the single best social media invention of all time. To be selling under TWTR’s 5.5 p/s valuation is an utter and complete joke.

The shares are up 10% in the after hours and how a clean run path towards $75, based upon price to sales compares to GRUB and LNKD.

In this video, Cramer sucks the knee caps of TWLO, calling the modern day Vonage ‘the future of cloud computing.’ He was fantastically impressed by the conference call, saying it was ‘one of the great calls.’

They fucking text message alerts. Okay? Not exactly revolutionary stuff.

Canaccord likes the story, but keeps the stock at a hold–due to a thing called ‘valuation.’

“For investors who care about long-term prospects, we came away incrementally more positive following this call. The punch line here is that Twilio has a very attractive business model in which it gets paid on a consumption or transactional basis. The firm is at the center of a big trend toward mobile apps and, based on our conversations, has best-in-class developer tools, the combination of which bodes well for its long-term prospects.”

Elon Musk is, without question, one of the premier innovators in our time. Maybe he sees something the rest of us don’t But, even Steve Jobs was fallible. His first stint at Apple is a perfect example of it. This merger of car company and money losing solar panel maker is ridiculous on almost every level.

After the bell, SCTY warned and cited difficulties in securing financing to fudge their numbers, in lieu of the proposed merger. Hardly anyone buys those stupid panels. The company survives only be securing financing to lease out the panels and they lose money doing it to boot.

Reports Q2 (Jun) loss of $2.32 per share, excluding non-recurring items, $0.19 better than the Capital IQ Consensus of ($2.51); revenues rose 80.7% year/year to $185.8 mln vs the $147.31 mln Capital IQ Consensus.

Preannounced 201 MW installed vs. 185 MW guidance.

Co issues downside guidance for Q3, sees EPS of ($2.55-2.65), excluding non-recurring items, vs. ($2.34) Capital IQ Consensus Estimate; sees Q3 revs of $155-168 mln vs. $173.77 mln Capital IQ Consensus Estimate. For Q3 2016 we expect to install 170 MW, as the softer Q1 2016 bookings feed their way into installation throughput. Driven by the pick-up in bookings we have seen in Q2 and July as well as C&I’s seasonally strongest period, we expect to install between 315 and 415 MW in Q4 2016 (C&I experiencing a significant uptick in MW Deployed including some projects already under construction C&I).

Expect total 2016 MW Installed of 900—1,000 MW (down from 1.0-1.1 GW), with the mid-to-high end of the range assuming an improvement in residential sales productivity. As our infrastructure had been built to handle ~1.25 GW of annual capacity, we will be reducing our cost structure to accommodate our current forecasted volume run rate and positioning ourselves to report one of the lowest Cost per Watt in our history in the fourth quarter of 2016.

Cash balance expected to increase by the end of Q3 2016 (as compared to the end of Q2 2016) and to further increase by the end of Q4 2016 (as compared to the projected closing balance as of the end of Q3 2016)

Being acquired by TSLA for 0.11 TSLA shares per SCTY share.

So much for a post BREXIT collapse. Things have never been better for the empire. They’re having Europe’s cake and eating it too.

Courtesy of QE, yields for GILTs are at record lows. Investors are citing an actual shortage in supply. Bond traders can’t get enough of the U.K.

Additionally, the FTSE 100 is at 14mo highs. All this being said, however, there’s very little media coverage about the prosperity that seems to be prevailing, post vote to exit the EU.

My favorite line was in reference to the jobs being created, which Uncle Carl said were of the lower echelon varietal, service jobs. He said ‘the pundits will say, well this is okay because this is a service economy. What the hell does that mean? Do we keep texting each other? They just keep sending tweets to one another, more and more and more? That’s wonderful.”

‘…until we go over the cliff.’

If you thought new highs might drag curmudgeon Fly out from his ark, you’d be wrong. I don’t give a shit about new highs. I’ve traded the market since I was a wee lad, running about the sewers of Brooklyn in search of fortune. I see stocks spiking higher and then continue to chew on potato chips, obstinant and confident that all of this decadence will one day end in flames.

Bear in mind, this end of days scenario might not even happen in your lifetimes. That’s all right, since I have an eternity to see this pan out.

In the interim, I remain long the single best performing asset class that all of you love to hate: treasuries. Admit it, you’re just silly fucking assholes who have no idea what’s going on in the real world, so you make up an imaginary one for you and your stupid family to inside of.

That being said, I remain SHORT FCX, into new record highs for the indices. You can never say “Fly is just a bandwagon trader. He always shorts when things go awry.”

Fuck the bandwagon and everyone on it.

Fuck your new highs pic.twitter.com/7vT4RcfLvZ

— The_Real_Fly (@The_Real_Fly) August 9, 2016

The DAX is higher by 2.5% today, by far the best performer in the western world. Just the other day I highlighted it inside Exodus because it was oversold.

Here was the day it flagged.

And here are the actual results of previous OS signals for EWG.

In a nutshell, that’s what Exodus does. It intuitively learns levels in stocks and ETFs from which they’ve bounced or sold off from, providing users with an edge to trade markets. Plain and simple: it wins a lot more than it loses.

Mercedes and BMW are going to swoop in and eat Tesla’s lunch, as soon as the market is big enough. Also, board the ark.

Classic stuff.