We Need An Emergency Rate Hike

That’s what you dumb fuckers want now, right?

You’re all a bunch of spoiled brats. Everything has to be given to you right away, or else you throw a tantrum and start selling your stocks.

Seriously, Americans have morphed from hardcore cigar smoking, stoned cold nazi killers to viagra popping, latte drinking stock market faggots.

We’re doomed. Don’t take my word for it. Go to your local mall and start screaming profanities, then watch everyone scatter like roaches. Then, hop in your local time machine and try that same shit in the year 1955. Ten bucks says you end up in a full body cast.

Regarding the market:

This shit is just ugly. However, I might go long, by the end of today’s session. Typically, after a spastically retarded trading week, the market snaps back. My only reservation is the prospect of some calamitous event occurring, causing the market to crater like 1987. However, after taking a deep breath and chewing on my mental medicine, I realized that such events are extremely rare and do not happen at the lows.

At the present, my investment thesis is to be long energy/short everything else. With my money, today, I will buy more [[RIG]], [[PCZ]] and [[ARD]], while adding to my tech shorts, via [[REW]].

Top pick: REW

Help?!!*

Hank Paulson, U.S. Bankruptcy Department, Goldman Sachs

“The Fly” was out all day, attending the most egregious event known to mankind. I didn’t even get to laugh at you fucktards, who are long equities.

Did you notice my wins?

I bet you did.

A special thanks to Option Addict for filling in. Aside from me, he is an excellent blogger and investor. All of you should all visit his site daily.

I noticed the iBC server was down today. From what I discerned, Vincenzo had nothing to do with today’s outage. He is no longer permitted to have gravy in the cold room. From what I could tell, the internet itself was protesting “The Fly’s” unannounced absence and decided to throw iBC the fuck offline.

Plus anyway, the internet does not like Woodshedder.

I haven’t had a chance to review today’s tape. However, my initial opinion is grim.

We’re hitting new mother fucking lows, despite the famous Vince “Asshat” Farrell bottom call, sponsored by CNBC and Thestreet.com.

More later.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUaP7LoppGw 450 300]

If you are bullish, today was a tough day. Initially, it had all the makings of a monster day, led by banks. However, as I said before, buying the dips is no longer a viable strategy. Instead, you have to sell the rips.

Naturally, I mean: sell short stocks, with impunity.

During the day, I shifted around a lot. I took profits in a variety of shorts, while bulking up on others.

Currently, I am short [[TCB]], [[FMBI]], [[WFSL]] and [[HRB]]. And, I have a big position in [[REW]].

Additionally, I will look to reenter short [[PACW]], [[EWBC]], [[CSE]] and [[CHL]].

Don’t be surprised to see the market rally tomorrow. With my money, I will patiently wait for things to go my way, since it’s inevitable.

Remember, “The Fly” wins all the time, even when he appears to be losing, badly.

Top pick: short FMBI

Poof. Your bullshit rally has vanished.

-Merlin

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXOLjOI0cT0&feature=related 450 300]

Ongoing.

I sold short 2,500 [[TCB]] @ $12.90 and 1,000 [[FMBI]] @ $20.05.

Disclaimer: If you sell short the above stocks because of this post, the next time you are in a public urinal someone will punch you in the neck, while you are relieving yourself. And, you may lose money.

The Fed decided to do nothing. However, Fed Governor Fisher did dissent. That fucker wants to hike rates.

Here are my thoughts:

Under normal circumstances, when the Fed raises rates, the markets go higher, due to a strengthening economy. However, because of inflation, any rate hikes will serve as a response to runaway inflation and not to stem robust growth.

So, I think it’s fair to assume higher rates, while growth slows—leaving the market fucked until further notice.

With regards to today’s action:

Always fade the initial reaction. I would not be surprised to see the real move tomorrow. As a result, I have decided to do nothing, content with my current blend of market mastery.

All I can tell you, with the confidence of a lion in a rabbit cage, get long crude, via [[RIG]].

It will rip your face off. When are you fuckers going to learn?

Fucking shit, crude has been spiraling up for like 5 years and shit. All of a sudden, you believe it will tank now, ending the oil crazed boom just like that?

I don’t think so, fuckface.

Like I always say, when speaking of oil, there is some grand transfer of wealth scheme taking place, from west to east, that we weren’t invited to. However, I am crashing the party anyway, getting long [[RIG]], [[PCZ]], [[ARD]] and [[FTK]] on pullbacks.

Betting against oil is equal to trying to defeat a level 100 Donkey Kong (I have no idea what a level 100 Donkey Kong is, but is sounds fierce). That fucker will just throw barrels at your dumb ass, effectively ape raping your portfolio into oblivion.

Regarding the banks:

They are bouncing. Big deal. I am not impressed.

God willing, I will be gifted another chance to bet against them, at much higher levels, much to Doug Kass’s chagrin.