BLIMEY! PREPARE TO BE KEELHAULED

Ever since I re-dedicated myself towards the profit of my BALT position, I’ve been, inadvertently, turning into a cackle eating pirate. With the colder climes, I’ve been wearing a black cable knit ski hat and a pea coat, which was gifted to me from Mrs. Fly. Suddenly, I’ve lost the desire to shave and have been growing a beard, readying to become the scourge of the heavy seven seas. If my hornswaggling clients saw me today, they’d think for sure I had lost my faculties, as nothing about my person is gentrified.

Also, it’s worth noting, I am now “bulking” at the gym, gaining about 1lb per week, entirely dedicated towards the building of muscles, so that I might be able to break someone’s skull with just one swing of my cutlass. I realize this terrifies a great many of you, men who fancy themselves “sophisticates”, traveling the United States in search of quality “t-time.”

I couldn’t care less about your goddamned t-time.

Heave to what I am telling you now: I am here to grab the money (extra arggg) and go. The market is weak, but my position is strong. I am going to take the treasure (BALT), one way or another, and you’re just gonna have to sit there and watch me do it. Gone are the days when I’d bothered to negotiate with any of you bilge rats, regular carousers, attempting to snatch my beard. You rapscallions have been taking from me since 2007 and I think it’s about time you gave back.

I treasure your silence, so shhhhhh.

Indeud.

A word of caution for you, the reader class:

In all of my years operating this place of financial hegemony did I tolerate snarkiness, inquisitiveness and most certainly not disrespect. I will ban you from existence. Its not a plain ban that will be punched into your faces, but a full site ban (let it simmer for 7 seconds), one that will redirect you to a man who will teach you what you need to be told. Remember, I am not here to make a career out of the internet, nor am I here to please you. I am here out of the goodness of my black heart, a heart that has seen the very worst of mankind and could recognize the character traits of the very worst just by reading a few comments. Do not test me.

Back to the market:

Momo names are being deballed and tossed into refrigerators to be eaten later. Solar, homies, 3-d, you name it: CHOPPED.

Lucky for me, two of 5 of my largest positions are green: NSTG and BALT, putting me +1.3% for the day. I sold out of some NSTG at the opening tick, as disclosed inside of The PPT. I will keep the remainder of my position until the stock breaks $18.

As for BALT: it is merely fulfilling its ultimate destiny, just like many of you twirling down the sewer pipe of humanity. BALT is a winner and will trade higher. Like taxes and death, this is something that I am very confident in saying: see you at $7.

The first rule of being a stockbroker is to never think with your own pocket. Often times, young advisors make this fatal mistake and price themselves out of the big leagues.  Your clients are richer than you and would prefer to send you less money, if at all possible. Very few people are chomping at the bit to send some 20 something punk out of college hordes of cash to invest in risk assets. They’ll tell you “let me talk to my wife” or “I have my money tied up in real estate.” They’re just lying to you to shut you up.

Many piker-brokers accept the poverty schtick from their multi-millionaire clients because they themselves are poor/disheveled. Some of these aspiring advisors pity their clients plights; and instead of asking for the monster order, they ask for something so small, my dog could cut a check for it.

Go big or go home. There isn’t any other game to play. You either turn your business into a cash generating machine, or you do something else.

The other day I hired someone to do a menial task at my house. After speaking with this gent for 5 minutes, I knew something was “off.” He was too smart, handled himself well, and had an impressive reportoire of vocabulary at his disposal, to be wasting time on such a small odd-job. After several days at the house, I learned that his business used to be 8x as large as it is now and how several accidents  removed him from the path of glory. He spoke of a golden era when he had crews and limousine car phones (the 1980’s) and flew around the country to cater to high net worth clients. All of that, and more, are now nothing more than a faded memory. I could tell by the way he tip-toed around price that he was struggling and gave him a handsome tip for it.

The truth is, I was sad for him and feared his position, for it could happen to anyone, even me. A series of unfortunate events can transpire that can turn success into defeat. If you let the spirit die, well then, you will be singing the same tune about a golden era when you used to be someone important.

Now is the time to try your hand at life, become successful, ask that woman out on a date–do something. Otherwise, you’ll be shining shoes one day, regretting the time wasted when you were young and full of energy and supposed to be building a future, but instead opted to play with your balls.

Oh, by the way, NSTG is soaring and if you were a member of The PPT, you would have seen this message after my partial sale.

Instead of trying to play gotcha with me, why don’t you listen to what I am trying to tell you?

It’s so tempting to buy EXK and AG down here. After all, the dollar “isn’t worth anything” and “hard currencies” are the way to go, have been for thousands of years. I find it mildly amusing that the misfits from Bitcoin have accomplished what the miscreants who own gold/silver have tried to accomplish in a little more than 1 year.

Here we are, 5 years removed from the financial crisis, and gold/silver have gone nowhere. It is the very definition of dead money.

These near term spikes are ALWAYS sold and the miners are the very worst investments you could possible imagine. I am NOT a buyer of them here or there. I am NOT a buyer of them anywhere. I don’t like them in a box, or with a fox, or with jam or with a ham. I do not like them at all and rather play with toilet paper inside of a bathroom stall.

Top picks: BALT, YELP, GMCR

Both GIMO and RBCN have stalled; but I am a very patient man.

About 70% of stocks are lower today, which is the cause for apathetic indifference on behalf of traders nationwide. Most people I quiz have resigned for the year, content with their gains, happily fat and plump from a spectacular 2013. However, there is still work to be done and a good stock picker can make this tape his own, just by paying attention to the details.

For example: both GMCR and YELP want to go higher. All they need is a little push, and it’s lights out for the shorts. Also, the other day I sold 60k NSTG at $13. I got filled within 5 minutes, which shocked me, since the stock is illiquid. As soon as I saw that, I held off on any other sales, knowing there was a big buyer out there. Lo and behold, the stock continues to press forward.

The details matter and you can’t see this sort of stuff on your stupid charts.

DRYS and BALT are the best plays in the shippers now. Both stocks are steady, as rates climb and competitors GNK and EGLE get taken to the woodshed. If I didn’t own BALT, I’d be a buyer of DRYS with both hands. They have the biggest exposure to the Capes.

Hey, on a side note, did you know WBAI is literally a chinese lottery play? Something tells me the Gods mock me with this offering. Perhaps I should buy it?

It’s my top pick right now.

DEVELOPING…

Rumors are flying that GMCR will partner up with KO for a soft drink offering. Dry Bulk shipping rates are soaring again, led by Capes. Of course this is bullish for BALT and DRYS. People aren’t buying just yet because of the damage being done at EGLE and GNK. Both companies are impaired and need to restructure. For the life of me, I don’t know why EGLE didn’t do a secondary when the stock was at $9.

TWTR is the story stock this week and I regret not getting in. Nonetheless, as the valuation increases, so should YELP’s. Naturally, I am more bullish on YELP than any other social media stock, so I am pleased.

I’m up 0.8% this morning and there isn’t a thing that can stop this market from running higher.

Pardon my tardiness, as I was out assisting the christmas light installers this morning.

I saw a great film the other day, titled The Man from Earth. For those of you who enjoy movies that make you think, see this one. I promise you will not be disappointed.

I managed to make 0.13% today, thanks to GMCR, GIMO and YELP. I got my balls on the line with BALT and feel confident in my eventual success.

I am penning, typing rather, this blog for the vast swaths of locust investors, who’ve been maneuvering for a collapse. You shall not see it in 2013, nor 2014. You are wasting time and money by going against the trends. There isn’t an event that is going to thrust the bit coiners onto the centre stage. The Max Keisers of the world will remain, indefinitely, in the communist ‘fag box‘– eagerly awaiting satisfaction for the wasted years of fear mongering.

You will have to wait longer than you ever imagined.

What do these people really know about poverty, putting the tripe of our society on a moral pedestal? While you might dislike the very rich, due to their savage business dealings, the poor aren’t any better. Instead of taking away your jobs, the poor will take away your lives, or bash you over the head with a bottle of malted liquor. You cannot wish to have the dumbest and laziest factions of society leading a rebellion to enact change. The change you will get will be more severe than anything you could’ve ever imagined.

Do not romanticize the French Revolution, for it devolved into complete anarchy, spearheaded by the very worst their civilization had to offer. The poor should be helped by putting them on their feet, giving them opportunity to sustain themselves, instead of sucking off the government tit. However, they should never be placed atop a moral high ground, considered “good, hard working, folks” who only endeavor to feed their families and live the ‘American dream.” Nothing could be further than the truth.

They are a greedy and jealous people, coveting thy neighbors wives, and would gladly slide a blade across your neck for a pair of Air Jordan’s.

Homies, airlines and silver stocks are leading the rally, not exactly mainstream stuff here. Although, and I’ve said this before, homies are the perfect sector to rally behind, to feel good about the economy getting better. It’s also worth noting, they perform best during the months of Dec-Feb, with December, by far, the best month of the year to be long.

I bet you think I’m just saying that, making it all up.

Well, jerk,  I compiled the seasonality stats of all the homebuilders and have generously provided this data for years, inside The PPT.

I’m down 0.6% today, with weakness in BALT. I’m on pause here (no homo), simply vegetating the day away, waiting for something spectacular to happen. In the meantime, you should all take advantage of After Hours with Option Addict this week, as he will be giving a crash course lesson on options.

CIAO (most annoying form of goodbye).