SIR — Why Can’t We Collapse?

Last blog I alluded to the fact I was eagerly awaiting COLLAPSE and held onto my shorts. Just after I published that blog, I covered them and markets literally dropped for 2 hours afterwards. I was racked with regret, a little somber, and filled with rage.

Since then, I fancied myself a bull and bought lots stocks — bulked the fuck up on $RUM — and placed my fate in the hands of the stock Gods.

So you know, I speak to you from a position of being DOWN 1.1% on an otherwise fantastic bull-market day. MY quant is +1.5% and my strategic portfolio os +2.8%. Ergo, being down on a rally day like this is disgraceful and the result of a bearish disposition that causes me to NOT BUY DIPS and instead lean into shorts during times of duress.

This risk aversion is the result of being a veteran in the worst market calamities in American history: 1997, 2000, 2008, 2012, 2020, and again in 2022. I think it’s fair to assume that anyone over the age of 40 has PTSD when it comes to trading stocks and although I am chagrined by today’s performance — I will still trounce all of you asshats in 2024 and again in 2025 and again in 2026 and so on and so forth.

Good day.