HELP — SAVE US

Now that I’m apart of the cadre of the transgendered bull, I was wondering when the next bailout might occur? Perchance, would you happen to know? I sit here atop losses of the large varital, down by 111bps, and was hoping that NATO would apply some of its ‘rules based order’ to this cadaver of a market. The market, for the love of God, has been bad all year.

How long am I supposed to endure this? Is it a test by God to see if I am worthy of going to heaven? Yes, that’s exactly what it is: a democratic capitalism test by God himself foisted upon each person. I am gathering that if I sell before the rally to come — I will be sent directly to hell when I perish — for not having faith in the market. If I hold on and endure the pangs of the bear — I will be rewarded with a feast and champagne toasts and perhaps some steaks. That’s right — God himself will cook me up some steaks as a REWARD for holding through the great bear run of 2024. Might I suggest in a prayer that he also make me some Pomme Frites with a fresh aioli? I do not like ketchup.