iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,436 Blog Posts

Dear Santa

Despite the fucking ORCL and other tech names are receiving today, I am not scared. Even though my DECK is being manslaughtered by some metrosexual analyst with an ax to grind, I am not selling.

I sold out of EXK because my urinal shadows do not like silver here. I sold out of TNA because of SHOMP. My TZA position is very small when compared to my holdings. It is more of a statement than a position. In other words, I am still long, albeit not happy, into a bit of weakness here.

Truth be told, I have no business being so long–going into X-Mas. I had my annual highs just two weeks ago, with ample cash and not a care in the world. I fucking bought stocks again, like the crack-pipe smoking asshole that I am, and ruined everything. Now I am relying on Hanukkah Harry, Santa Claus and fucking Kwanza Kwame to bail me the fuck out, like some sort of destitute vagrant panhandling for beer money on 42nd street.

There is no difference between the beggar and myself, at this juncture in time. The scale is much different, where I am looking for millions, the beggar only wants $3. But the philosophy is the same. This really pisses me the fuck off.

Hold on a sec, let me offer a prayer, since I am sooo fucking religious.

Dear Santa,

Please kill everyone who gets in my way. I am a spoiled brat bastard who spends money like a hooker and would like to make a few million in stocks, before the end of the year. If at all possible, can you make the Federal Reserve do something or force Germany, through water boarding or other benign forms of torture, to step the fuck up and create more money, in order to fuck the poor and help me out? After all, I really want to buy a few more cars, new house and I’ve been eyeballing this $90,000 Patek watch.

Thanks in advance,

Spoiled fucking brat, Le Fly

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37 comments

  1. tdstrike

    I think your honesty alone should ensure you make Santa’s nice list, at least you didn’t muddle it up with ‘world peace’ and ‘end hunger’ bullshit.

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    • Hammy

      And, of course, my fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace.

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  2. ecchymosis

    Kwanza Kwame has told me you will be amply rewarded.

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  3. TraderCaddy

    Your prayer will not be answered unless you go back and revise same asking for a Tim Tebow Denver Bronco jersey.

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  4. dk

    People still buy watches? Very metrosexual.

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    • The Fly

      Only people with taste. I am sure your wife appreciates the fact you carry yourself like a slob.

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    • dumas

      dude, keep up, watches are back in style. but not a timex or casio or other no-namers.

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    • Lesley Wexler

      do people still say “metrosexual”?

      and why is wynona ryder showing so much cleavage on TCM?
      Is Darren Aronovsky a sicko?

      Why do some chicks turn forty and get all desperate? And isn’t Osborne gay? Do they check the silverware when she leaves?

      why did I buy more TIBX tonight?

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  5. 'merica

    Fuck oracle. Just because rosie odonnel is a fat slob, does that mean all other women fat slobs?

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  6. YoZone

    Well, your biggest problem is when you get all giddy and over-bullish at the wrong times and end up getting your balls in a vise all while berating, chastizing and belittling those who don’t agree with you. I personally find you to be a wonderful contra indicator.

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  7. ToTrader

    hahahah. Priceless. I hear ya though, I’m not having a very good day today.

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    • ToTrader

      Just thought of something…. maybe Congress will put a deal together and there will be a Christmas miracle. haha.

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  8. DrBigBoss

    surprised more names and the market aren’t down more, ORCL is too big of a company and they’re executing very well for their issues to be company specific.

    Huge slowdown in growth sequentially doesn’t look good from top down view.

    This quarter Americas growth slowed to +1.8%yoy from 8.25%yoy growth last quarter
    EMEA +0.66% vs. 13.57%yoy last quarter
    Apa +8% from +18.65%yoy last quarter

    That’s a huge drop off and if you think middle east and africa are at least not imploding than that implies serious serious fall off in europe. not a surprise but important to note

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  9. kriskringle

    this is the funniest thing i have ever read.I am going to put it in my pocket when i leave the North Pole.

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  10. Juice

    great writing, flea

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  11. wilmer

    I have to be honest I don’t know how you do it without the coffee, man.

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  12. Mr. Cain Thaler

    I love how your spoiled brat persona uses the French styling. Very appropriate.

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    • Lesley Wexler

      why aren’t you out screaming bah humbug and throwing raw turkeys into OWS tents?

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  13. The Fly

    FYI: I don’t fucking buy stocks when they go up. I practice mean reversion, mainly. So by saying I get burned by chasing is not only disingenuous, but factually incorrect.

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  14. Mad Willie Thompson
    Mad Willie Thompson

    I think @caffeinated is on to something there, Fly. Members with the Bilderberg-Level PPT Subscription get one day a year to press the ‘Ban’ button. It’ll sell like hotcakes.

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  15. dumas

    … and this post is why i come back again and again to read.

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  16. MCPJ

    Why no US market tickers on the home-screen?

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  17. Colonel von Ryan

    Dear Santa;

    I want some “Fly’s Original Space Knuckles”. Not the cheap knockoffs I see on the TV while watching The Rockford Files.

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  18. Mark

    Speaking of a new home… Saw this and thought of Sir Fly. Of course the house would have to be leveled and rebuilt in much grander style. And kill the fixed wing in lieu of a helicopter. But plenty of room to store space canons and possibly even Mrs Fly’s shoes.

    http://www.zillow.com/blog/2011-12-16/house-of-the-week-missile-silo-home/

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  19. Lloyd blankfeins walkie talkie bud

    Its poor people that would benefit by far the most from Europe creating some money

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  20. Quint

    Is this prayer going into the First Book of Fly?

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