John Thain, CEO, Merrill Lynch
The NY Times is reporting, newly hired CEO, John Thain from [[MER]] will write-down a mind-boggling 15 billion dollars.
What the fuck?
How incompetent were all of these fucktards?
Some of you wonder why I am so bearish, all of a sudden. The answer is right in your face, everyday. It’s hard to get motivated to invest in a business that is hemorrhaging money, constantly in need of raising capital.
Basically, all of our big banks and brokerages have been reduced to the equivalent of small cap bullshit companies, with no earnings and constant need to raise money.
With my money, I’ve always made money betting against companies like that.
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Do you think Thain is cleaning house with this 15 billion, or is there more to come?
Also, you never said if you still like GLF. You must now answer that question and follow it up with your thoughts on why AAUK is in the crapper.
like glf still.
aauk is ok.
This may be it for MER.
But does that make it investable?
Its just politics (kinda). You have a new CEO in a really bad market. Of course he will write down everything, hes got nothing to lose! He just says, “former CEO fucked you guys, write down 1 quadrillion”. Now hes got nothing to worry about because all the mess is behind him and the previous fucktards take the blame.
How will MER make money from here is the question?
One word …..
CHINA …
Viz
I think MER is investable, just not yet. I’m very familiar with MER and know a lot of their financial advisors. I have to tell you, most of them look at GS research and form their opinions based on those reports. While there are many brilliant people at MER, there are also a lot of great salesmen, which takes me to my next point.
They will make money by sending out their army of financial advisors to gather assets. GS is good at trading (along with everything else) and MER is good at convincing people to give them money.
The problem I have with MER is they are more interested in a person who has a sales background than someone who knows the market. You could bank coin like “The Fly†and be out of a job if you aren’t bringing in assets. I’m not sure if all firms are that way, but they really don’t care how you perform as long as you are bringing in money.
Fly, would you be buying AAUK and GLF here? If not what price are you willing to pay for those two?
Thanks in advance.
P.S. They also own a shit pile of BlackRock
Here is the cool part – we get to see China do all of this subprime crap themselves in twenty or thirty years
I’d buy BX despite it being approved by Cramer tonight given their acquisition and ability to sidestep the investment banks for capital now as well as their announced buyback ….
90% of big firms focus on sales.
However, we are talking about the fuckers who manage firm risk. Those guys are supposed to get it right.
MER has a massive retail arm. No doubt they will be able to survive. However, I do not see a catalyst to own the banks yet.
It’s still too early.
With so many ways to hedge exposure, it’s very impressive they were able to figure out a way to cause $23 billion of writedowns. Truly quite a feat. No wonder they rewarded the guy at the top with a lovely parting gift of $140 million as he left. And existing shareholders get rewarded with 30% dilution. Nice trade.
MER’s crown jewel is its retail distribution network. It’s got to be impaired by this disaster. I mean, why would I give MER my investment money when they just flushed $23 billion of shareholder money down the fucking toilet on bad investments?
I bet places like Raymond James, Edward D. Jones, A.G. Edwards, etc. are luring the retail brokers on a daily basis.
MER fucked itself, royally.
Fly, are you really holding 28,500 shares of FXP? Almost 2 mil worth. Holy SHITE! I’ll take down some more tomorrow if this is true.
How incompetent were all of these fucktards?
That would make a great koan.
Let’s see if we can spot the stupid in the business model:
1) find an asset that has inflated in value far past any historical norms, much less the current utility value
2) find somebody who has neither the assets nor income to come close to affording purchase of the asset
3) make the impossible happen by lending 100% of the asset value, offering a low teaser rate in the first few years, and letting the borrower choose payments so low that some of the accrued interest has to be added to the loan balance
4) recognize that such a loan is risky, so you’d better compensate for the risk by setting the reset interest rate high enough to give you fat returns – if it weren’t for the fact that the borrower can’t possibly make the payments and will have to default
5) do the above with an asset that is illiquid and has high transaction costs
6) make sure you give the borrower a nonrecourse loan
Looks good to me. Where do I pick up my $1.6 million annual bonus?
Here’s a real koan that seems appropriate:
Ride the Bull
Hoca had an ox with horns shaped like a bow. He had always wanted to sit between the horns and ride the ox but he was too afraid.
One day he saw the ox sleeping, he approached it quietly and managed to sit between the horns but the animal was startled, it shook itself and threw Hoca to the ground. He fell on his head and was knocked out.
When his wife saw him lying on the ground motionless she thought he was dead and began to cry. Soon Hoca opened his eyes again and consoled his wife saying “Don’t cry my dear, I tried hard and I got badly hurt but I finally did what I’d always wanted to do!”
FXP has been somewhat painful recently. it touches 80 and bam! itÊ»s down again. but thereÊ»s still alot brewing after earnings season… at the latest after the Olympics…
Iʻm personally shooting down (via puts) anything related to the hotel and tourist industry. It wonʻt look good for places like Hawaii if thatʻs the case.
Yesterday i posted something from the Naked Capital that happened to be very sensitive. the true thing is as it is very very clear now that we are dealing with bank insolvency. The key question rigth now is how to avoid systemic financial risk. I live in an emerging maket believe it has consequences, this is not a free ride.
This debacle is nuts. So BAC is averaging down on their CFC buy by more than 200% at this price level, taking on who knows what kind of risks, and people bid up BAC stock?
Also, with MER it proves that most of the Wall Street pros are boneheads, excepting the slippery snakes at GS, of course. Unbelievable.
MER is a buy on this over the next few days. Bears are up to a staggering high of near 60%. We may have seen the lows or are at least very close to them, for now.
If emerging markets submerge, then the lows will be breached but negativity is far too high to make significant lows from here.
who cares, they will just print more money and the problem will be solved.
Fuck all you people
Alias BPOE
This is an Election year. Don’t bet on a sure thing. A possible blow up could result. Run your money with low risk and fear. Most news will be bullshit to get media ratings. So invest in Media Fucks
Hey Thain, you have been fuccing us, how much is enough for you.
BAC to offer pocket lint and a broken crayon to CFC shareholders, who are lucky to get that much.
This is what the BAC buck is doing on the currency market.
And that’s against the dollar. Imagine what that chart looks like in real money.
MER is down less than a percent on this news. Looks like we rally here. If this news can’t bring Merrill down nothing can.
CAP, MER is only one player.
Wait until the rest of them air their dirty laundry.
This is far from over.
I actually just saw a Countrywide commercial with the following quote “…no one can do what Countrywide can…”. The fucking brass balls of those assholes.
Fly’s don’t burn on the grill
WOOD,
I wasn’t suggesting this is over. I was making a short term call for today. I think we get a rally heading into Op Ex and the Fed meeting. If you look at the banking index it looks like we could get a bounce to the previous support level of 88.
http://stockcharts.com/charts/gallery.html?$BKX
Once that 88 level is reached or somewhere in that region I would go short or buy SKF.
Long C at $28.27.
Fly, you make back all your losses from yesterday?
Congrats man.
Thain wrote down what he could given the equity base.
It does mean they wrote off everything.
MER brokers have always been focused on gathering assets. What makes people think MER can survive by, “sending out an army” to gather assets now? It doesn’t matter. We are talking about how the company has been managed, not some broker who calls me every week asking for money. In this environment and in light of this news, they have been LOSING assets. Commissions and fees are going down.
MER will have to find an asshat company (or foreign government) to combine with (or give them a cash infusion), thus hopefully continuing to declare, “We are the biggest and the best. We are too big to fail.”
Bullshit.
Gotcha Cap.
The BKX is printing bearishly right now.
If financials can’t be beaten down with this apocalyptic news tape, a few shorts will receive painful and untimely castrations when they least expect it.
Odd, yet strikingly poignant, no?
Thain is going to get kicked out of the old boys club very soon if he keeps this shit up.
He should have wrote the loss to a hedge fund and closed the fund under Cayman Island sovereignty. Then deny all investors who want their money back and cross your fingers that the Fed doesn’t go after you that hard.
Oh yeah, hire an in-house guy to be your CEO so this shit doesn’t get exposed.
Even rats jump off a sinking ship.
Consumer credit card wizard Porky Pig is tapped out?? Retail flat in December.
http://www.reuters.com/article/marketsNews/idUKNAT00360620080111?rpc=44
ARAY up another 2% in this shitty market, $20+ by March
seems like mvis gonna get another homo hammer
any plan to scoop up on the cheap, or do they just not have the product?
WWGD-What would George (Costanza) do?