Dead Mall Retail Stocks Lead Today’s Barnstormer of a Rally

Who said the shopping mall was dead? Has anyone looked at the price of crude lately? It’s awfully cheap and Amazon isn’t going to shut down all of the malls at once. So we might as well partake in a little bit of debauchery, while afforded the opportunity to do so.

Shares of one day defunct American retailer SHLD is leading the fray, with a +4.5% showing. Other standouts include JCP (+2.5%), M (+1.8%), MW (+4.3%), ANF (+3.3%), GPS (+2.6%), BID (+6%), FIVE (+5.5%), BUFF (+5.5%) and ZAGG (+3.77%).

Clearly, I can go one for days, ranting and raving about all of these retailers who’ve, seemingly, found new life at the bottom of the alligator infested pool. But that’d be grapes, of the soured varietal. We should all embrace wanton shoppery of the glamorous sort, as Americans droll on through shopping malls in tow with 70% off coupons, clamoring for the latest designs.

Beau Correll, a good old, genteel, southern, RNC delegate from the common wealth of Virginia, intends to lead a faction of the republican party to deny Donald Trump the republican nomination for President. His reasoning was vaguely mentioned. In between revealing his plot, he scattered a few comments about Hillary Clinton raising more money and Trump operating on a ‘skeleton staff,’ something that is absolutely ABHORRED by the political whores on K street.

Moreover and deliciously Orwellian, Correll painted the GOP insiders as the ones protecting Trump, trying to force his nomination down the throats of the ‘grass roots’ movement, as if the votes of the people meant nothing at all. Let’s not forget it was the RNC and establishment republicans who fought the Trump ascendancy every step of the way, ebbing and flowing and sucking the skin off Jeb to Ted’s man parts, even Kasich, anyone who could preserve their schemes and diabolical plans to sell out American interests to a global oligarchy.

BEHOLD.

And he did it with smile on his face.

Now that Great Britain is leaving the EU, Merkel and the Bundesbank need someone else to fill the void. Why not the Turks? They’re domiciled at the gateway of the middle east. They enjoy a prosperous living and have access to plenty of good, strong, slaves for German factories. Merkel called Erdogan today, likely to congratulate him for his great coup production, and to inform him that if he reinstated the infamous Turkish death houses, it would be entirely unacceptable.

“The chancellor also urged the president to abide by the principles of proportionality and rule of law in the Turkish state’s response (to the coup attempt),” she added. “The recent wave of arrests and dismissals in Turkey are a matter for grave concern.”

“Reintroduction of the death penalty would prevent successful negotiations to join the EU,” Steinmeier said.

Merkel’s spokesman Steffen Seibert told a news conference earlier on Monday that Germany and the EU categorically reject the death penalty.

“A country that has the death penalty can’t be a member of the European Union and the introduction of the death penalty in Turkey would therefore mean the end of accession negotiations,” Seibert said.

I am certain Erdogan and Merkel can come to terms, permitting the Turks access to the ECB fund and QE bond buying program. Do any of you understand how much ISIS oil the Turks could buy if they were able to enjoy EU styled interest rates? Pfff. Wow.

The Turkish 10yr is yielding 9.5%. Compare that to the Italian 1.25% and you can see why Erdogan might want to just kill these ‘coup leaders’ in secret.

This is a recent photo of the Turk coup soldiers under arrest, placed without clothes in a horse stable.

Since the coup failure, Erdogan has arrested 3,000 judges, 8,000 police, 3,500 soliders and over 100 generals and admirals.

I’m sorry, true jihadists only throw gay men off buildings and fucking stone women to death for getting raped. God forbid a woman should get raped and not have 4 men nearby to testify to her victimhood, it’s lights out for her. True jihadists torture and behead people for their religious beliefs, crucify catholic priests and even destroy thousand year old artifacts because they don’t conform to their sick, perverted, and criminally minded way of thinking.

They suspend school for all children in their cities and give them the koran in its stead. They’re slavers and force young girls as young as 12 to become sex slaves–because that’s what true, pious, non-pork eating men do. Right?

You fucking morons.

“Several testimonies paint the picture of a man far removed from religious considerations, not a practicing Muslim, who ate pork, drank alcohol, took drugs and had unrestrained sexual activity,” Paris anti-terrorism prosecutor Francois Molins told reporters Monday

Still, Mohamed Lahouaiej Bouhlel had grown a beard eight days before the attack and had explained he did it for religious reasons, Molins said, citing another witness. The prosecutor also added that the man recently had a “clear interest” in jihadi movements and had made several Internet searches about the Koran since the beginning of the month.

Bouhlel, a 31-year-old Tunisian with French residency, was killed by police after he drove a rented 19-ton refrigerator truck for about 2 kilometers (1.2 miles) down Nice’s seafront Promenade des Anglais on July 14, killing 84 people and wounding more than 200.

By discussing whether or not this scourge of the earth ate pork, drank swill or took drugs, the insane person who wrote this article is placing the “true” jihadists on a pedestal, giving them a standard of sorts. No. I’m sorry, but none of these jihadists are pure in any way, whatsoever. They’re all hypocrites, liars, thieves and untrue to the basic decency and morality of mankind.

The Nice killer was a jihadist, even if it doesn’t fit into your distorted narrative of the world. He’s a jihadist, in spite of the fact that he ate pork, donkey punched in his spare time, and drank from Budweiser cans during the readings of the holy koran.

One of these men is an alpha. You decide.

It’s like a James Bond movie, but with bad Turkish actors doing a poor job with special effects. News is flowing out of Erdogan’s propaganda ministry, the Turkish press, that the good President cheated death on several occasions during the coup. He was blessed by Allah to continue leading the Turkish people towards greatness, dodging bombs, dipping out just before special forces raids, and most impressively, telepathically comvincing a rebel fighter jet to not shoot his Presidential jet down.

All very impressive stuff.

At the height of the attempt to overthrow Turkish President Tayyip Erdogan, the rebel pilots of two F-16 fighter jets had Erdogan’s plane in their sights. And yet he was able to fly on.
The Turkish leader was returning to Istanbul from a holiday near the coastal resort of Marmaris after a faction in the military launched the coup attempt on Friday night, sealing off a bridge across the Bosphorus, trying to capture Istanbul’s main airport and sending tanks to parliament in Ankara.

“At least two F-16s harassed Erdogan’s plane while it was in the air and en route to Istanbul. They locked their radars on his plane and on two other F-16s protecting him,” a former military officer with knowledge of the events told Reuters.
“Why they didn’t fire is a mystery,” he said.

A successful overthrow of Erdogan, who has ruled the country of about 80 million people since 2003, could have sent Turkey spiraling into conflict and marked another seismic shift in the Middle East, five years after the Arab uprisings erupted and plunged its southern neighbor Syria into civil war.

A senior Turkish official confirmed to Reuters that Erdogan’s business jet had been harassed while flying from the airport that serves Marmaris by two F-16s commandeered by the coup plotters but that he had managed to reach Istanbul safely.
A second senior official also said the presidential jet had been “in trouble in the air” but gave no details.

Erdogan said as the coup unfolded that the plotters had tried to attack him in the resort town of Marmaris and had bombed places he had been at shortly after he left. He “evaded death by minutes”, the second official said.

Around 25 soldiers in helicopters descended on a hotel in Marmaris on ropes, shooting, just after Erdogan had left in an apparent attempt to seize him, broadcaster CNN Turk said.
Prime Minister Binali Yildirim had also been directly targeted in Istanbul during the coup bid and had narrowly escaped, the official said, without giving details.

Flight tracker websites showed a Gulfstream IV aircraft, a type of business jet owned by the Turkish government, take off from Dalaman airport, which is about an hour and a quarter’s drive from Marmaris, at about 2240 GMT on Friday.

It later circled in what appeared to be a holding pattern just south of Istanbul, around the time when a Reuters witness in the airport was still hearing bursts of gunfire, before finally coming in to land.

Gunfire and explosions rocked both Istanbul and Ankara through Friday night, as the armed faction which tried to seize power strafed the headquarters of Turkish intelligence and parliament in the capital. At one point it ordered state television to read out a statement declaring a nationwide curfew.

Who do you think should play Erdogan in the upcoming cinematic blockbuster feature, When Turkish Coups Fail?

I’m thinking Erdogan can be played by Robert Deniro or maybe even Brian Cranston. That’d be great.

This is equal to downgrading Jesus after he rose from the dead and stunted on his killers.

The Germans believe $19 billion tacked onto the market cap of Nintendo is a bit too much. Moreover, they’d like investors to exhibit a bit of discipline when buying into a company that generally sucks, save the new app.

“Pokémon Go is a genuine phenomenon ? just after little over a week, it has added US$19 billion to the value of Nintendo,” writes Deutsche Bank analyst Han Joon Kim. “The market is now valuing Nintendo at US$27 billion in market capitalization (ex-cash & treasury shares at book value), on a par with global leaders such as Electronic Arts Inc. and Activision Blizzard Inc. that respectively have 5 percent global video game market share versus Nintendo’s current 2 percent.”

As such, amid this frenzy, the stock price now reflects operating and financial performance that will be difficult to realize, he argued.

“We need to see further hard evidence to model in significant further upside,” writes Kim, adding that the launch of Pokémon Go in other regions, introduction of new mobile games, and the reception to its new NX console were key events to watch in this regard.

The analyst cut his rating on Nintendo to “hold” from “buy” and upped his price target to 30,000 yen from 23,600 yen.

“We think the stock price now prices in a large portion of the market share recovery story, which we believe is readily achievable from leveraging its intellectual property to some degree,” he explains. “Combined with mobile game launches and market share recovery in console via NX, we are willing to model in a market share recovery by FY3/2019 to ~5 percent, but not towards the 10 percent level that Nintendo enjoyed in 2009 when Wii revolutionized the game industry.”

Shares of Nintendo, who own 33% of Pokemon, are up 91% over the past few weeks–due to the millions of freshly minted pokemon trainers now traversing the earth in search of augmented reality treasures.

Prior to the coup, Dogan Holdings has a lot short sellers in the stock, as people believed Erdogan was going to clown slap freedom of the press, which included the CNN folks. However, and since Erdogan took to his FaceTime app with CNNTurk during the darkest moments of the flaccid coup attempt, investors who were short Dogan got their fucking brains scrambled for them today–as a new light of friendly relations with Erdogan helped the struggling company shine while everyone else fell into the abyss.

“The group earned praise from government officials following its broadcast of Erdogan on Friday,” said Figen Ozavci, the deputy chief executive officer at the Meksa Yatirim Menkul Degerler brokerage in Istanbul. “Investors seem to have interpreted this as the tension being reduced between the government and Dogan Holding, which is a positive given past experiences

Lesson learned?

If you happen to own a news channel in a country who is undergoing a coup attempt, FaceTime the deposed leader on live television. Who knows? Your stock might just climb 16% the next trading day, if he’s successful.

Question for you psychopaths out there: how low can WTI go without hurting stocks? Clearly, the market is strong, unfazed by harrowing terrorist attacks, and domestic strife. I’m pretty sure a 10 mega tonne nuclear device can detonate over a major US city and stocks would edge higher, after getting a 3:30 ramp into the bell.

But look at crude.

It’s a very sick old man, ghastly even. All of the viagra that market has taken is missing in the flaccid action in the oil pits. That being said, does it mean anything to you that 2017 marks the beginning of massive debt expirations in the patch?

No. I didn’t think so.

Wait, WTI trading lower is good for Pokemon trainers who want to travel to new regions to find rare Pokemon, yes? Ok, I got it.

Fucking idiots.

It’s 3am and I’ve been driving all night, so I’ll make this somewhat to the point. Last week I closed out my gold positions. I did so because…well, I’ll let me Exodus post speak for itself.

After booking my gold positions and watch stocks lift, I highlighted how overbought the market was, according to Exodus. Bear in mind, I’ve spoken about how overbought signals do not equate to immediate pullbacks before. As a matter of fact, Exodus overbought signals are better signals for stocks to rise, probability wise, than our oversold. However, there are levels to overbought heights and last week we reached a high point, the ebb tide.

Here is just one case of how stretched markets are, using only the basic resource sector as an example. The oscillator is our hybrid score model overlaid and specified for this particular sector. As you can see, these heights do not last very long, indicative of potential weakness in the not too distant future.

Lastly, I reu laced 16 names in my Bubble Basket, which is an index of stocks I deem shortable, a key barometer of risk that is readily tossed into the fires during periods of stress. This index is off by 17% for the year.