To Hell in a Hand Basket

Good luck buying stocks, “bottle fucker.” I have the utmost disdain for real estate, by the way. Specifically, I despise NYC real estate, since it never goes down. With that being said, I feel it is “worthwhile” to weigh into the REIT fuckers, via [[SRS]]—in a big way.

My “chart chomping fool guy” says: “there are significant breakdowns in many of the SRS components. Feel free to go ahead and sell it, rapidly.”

In addition, I am shorting [[RIMM]], despite being long, for a trade—down to $90. And, with [[FXP]] in the low 90’s, I’m fucking tempted to throw my trader/servant down a sewer pipe and buy that fucker.

Remember, buying FXP gets you short [[LFC]], [[CHL]], [[PTR]], [[CEO]], amongst others.

In short, feel free to get drunk/smoke crackpipe and sell short stocks, again.

I bought 3,000 [[SRS]] @ $116.

UPDATE: I bought 3,000 @ $113.11

Disclaimer: If you buy SRS because of this post, the next time you order Chinese takeout, vermin will be in your rice. And, you may lose money.

I sold short 2,000 [[RIMM]] @ $94.20.

Disclaimer: If you sell short RIMM because of this post, Warren Buffet will buy a 20% stake in the company. And, you may lose money.

I bought 1,000 [[SMN]] @ $41.61.

UPDATE: I bought 3,000 SMN @ $41.65

Disclaimer: If you buy SMN because of this post, your ink jet will run out, at the most inopportune time. And, you may lose money.

I covered some of my [[DECK]] short, buying 5,000 shares @ $113.76.

I sold 2,000 [[VMI]] @ $82.20.

I covered some of my [[LEH]] short, buying 5,000 @ $54.20.

Many of you are slobs. I look at you (“The Fly” is watching all of you) and I think to myself: “wow, what a fucktard.” I mean, quit viewing my blog in your bullshit Aramani rip off, polyester suit. Go to your local tailor and spend a good 2g’s on a high quality thread count/100% wool suit.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Keep in mind, this is a “high end” blog, where only the very wealthy or “rich” are invited. Should your net worth be under 1.1 million or your age above 47 1/2, you will be escorted off the site’s premises. So sorry, I keeps [sic] my standards.

With regards to the markets:

Who cares?

I have a long weekend ahead of me. The NYS Insurance asshats are trying to rig the system, bailing out the monolines. As a result, my [[SKF]] may not be able to reach $140, yet. Also, I’m not enjoying any spike, whatsoever, in [[VMI]]. As a matter of fact, it’s down a buck.

All in all, today is a rather opaque, yet gay, day.

I suppose things will “heat up,” later on. After all, who wants to be long stock, going into the weekend? Oooh, scary.

Top picks: [[SKF]], [[SRS]] and [[SMN]]

“The Fly” believes in symmetry. Ducati ruined Gunners perfect post with a 1 star rank; therefore, Gunners is “awarded” Ducati’s blog. It’s that simple.

Tit for gat.

Since the cat is out of the bag, Ducati has NEVER given anyone, other than himself, more than 1 star. We’re talking dozens of 1 star votes. An egregious voter, if you will.

How’s that for full disclosure?

Hence, iBankCoin welcomes Gunners.

In other news: The monolines are “financial terrorists.” And, they’re f#@%ed (we can say fucked here Barry).

And, Mish gives an update on how fucked the auction fuckers are, with a little unique insight.

Many of the ARS munis are held by leveraged closed end mutual funds. Since the auctions are failing, my guess is they will liquidate the leveraged portion of the portfolio, meaning a cascade on muni paper into the market. Plus, other issuers will be trying to re-finance their ARS, (NY, Tollways, etc.), we should be watching the yields going forward and they should spike sometime in the future. There might be an opportunity in here!

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