Random Observations From the Desk of Le Fly

Watching Joe Kernen play Rush Limbaugh every morning is rather tedious, is it not? When Mark Haines was on in the morning, it was tolerable. But this shit with Kernen and poor Andrew Ross-Sorkin (why the fuck is his name hyphenated?) is ridiculous. In all fairness, Sorkin is just doing his job, best he can, reporting news and things of that nature. It’s Captain Fuckface, with his low self-esteem, coupled with his political smugness, that renders the morning show entirely useless.

Now many of you will say “OMG, why do you even watch CNBC?” You are the same people who haven’t read a book since college or have penned an essay, just for the sake of collecting ones thoughts, ever. I watch CNBC because the channel produces commentary that moves markets. Not watching CNBC, frankly, is equal to planning a vacation without checking the weather forecast.

As an aside, what is the fascination CNBC has with Mario Gabelli? I don’t quite get it.

The market is pointing to a higher open and I will gladly accept the money of bears, like yourselves, to line the walls of my vault. Your loss is indeud my gain and will help finance my eccentricities. Thank all that is good and just that X-mas is near, for I am losing my fucking mind shopping for people and ushering Mrs. Fly around town. I don’t mind buying gifts for people. As a matter of fact, I enjoy giving things to people. However, I loathe shopping malls and traffic.

Bottom line: I am sticking with my positions and will likely reduce my equity exposure into rallies. At the present, I am 75% long, 25% cash.

As you readily know by now, “The Fly” sold out of his gold and silver weeks ago, right near the highs (that’s how I roll). I took a small float on EXK last week, hoping it would appreciate with the same gusto it has in the past. But it was not meant to be, so I sold it for a quick profit.

While there are numerous reasons to be long gold and silver, there is just one to sell. Unfortunately for those of you stuck inside of this n00b box, it is the dominant force dictating price now. The flight for liquidity continues and so many of you ham and eggers are doing “The Ron Paul”. Much to your chagrin, you now find yourselves entirely fucked inside of these junior miner hell holes. That is not to say you’d be better suited in DECK or LULU. Howsoever, it is rather fitting that those of you who take pride in “being safe” are the most exposed to the harsh elements of the market. A storm is brewing and no one is safe.

I intend to buy EXK, AG and RGLD when prices fall precipitously from here. This is a 180 reversal from my prior position. It must be said and I will be the first to say it, precious metals no longer enjoy the protection of being a “defensive asset.” It is being used by all of you fucktards to apply risk to portfolios.

The gig is up and your day of reckoning awaits.

NOTE: The new Batman trailer is out. As usual, it looks awesome.

Nice market rally today, other than DECK. On my eyes, should DECK defy all of the sorcery put forth by the evil “warm weather” magicians, I am going to impale all of the people who spread these disdainful lies. Seeing the stock down another 4 today makes me want to throw whole sticks of dynamite at people who are waiting to be served SHIT at one of NYC’s hot dog vendors.

Everything else is going “swimmmingly,” led by outsized gains in acquisition target MDR.

TZA is trading lower, as it should, and will be a magnificent buy soon. Patience is key when playing the market. One cannot presume to just pick up a violin, for the first time, and play Tchaikovsky Concerto No. 1. Do not assume you know anything at all, for the nature of things always catches up and presses the weak into cups to be consumed by the strong.

Having said that, I am going now, off to underwrite some X-mas acquisitions.

Let’s face some untenable facts here. The economic data isn’t that bad. Granted, warnings out of ORCL, SCHN and JOY do not make me feel warm and fuzzy. But it’s not the graveyard shit that so many doom and gloomers have been prophesying. Enjoy the respite from now until New Years eve, for it will not last.

Merkel is coming back from here Hitleresque vacation on January 5th and the world will brace itself for a very big Italian bond auction in late January. Similar to late 2007, I expect the market will rally into year end, then get stomped out in early 2012. The storm is brewing and it’s all going to be coming to a head in 2012. Get ready for it.

Having said that, I am interested in squeezing out some upside at the great expense of the bears, right now. I own a wide array of stocks, right or wrong, that are very depressed and should be trading higher soon. I don’t know if you have noticed or not, but I have not bought anything new lately. I’ve decided to stick with the few names that I own, average down in them, then cut and run.

If I were to add new names to the mix, I’d strongly consider SUSS and TEA. Both stocks are on sale and offer great growth prospects. Also, I really like GSVC down in the $13’s. Remember, both ZNGA and GRPN represented hardly anything in their VC fund. GSV is all about Facebook and Twitter, with more than 30% of their assets tied up in the two companies. Ask yourself, do you think FBOOK and TWTR will garner much excitement upon IPO’ing? These two companies will be coveted by every investment bank in the world. They will receive the red carpet treatment and, by extension, GSVC will benefit.

As for warm winters and DECK boots: 2009 and 2010 were two of the warmest winters on record here in the US. Check the fucking sales growth for DECK during those dreadfully warm winters and ask yourself “do women give a shit about weather?”

Honey badger.

This is one of the funniest videos ever created on Youtube.

My largest positions are MDR, DECK and LULU. It’s been that way for a few weeks now and I do not reckon to change that. As a matter of fact, I reckon my luck is about to turn for the better, by a factor of 1 million.

I do not wish ill upon your explorations, only that you do worse than me.

My TZA position will be formed in tranches. Having just 33% of my money invested in this separate account (this is the last time I will speak of this out of respect for The PPT members), I want TZA to trade lower so that I may buy more.

The difference between you, and a person such as myself, is that you crave and clamour for the annihilation of the market, only because of your station in life. It’s the poisons in your brain that make you so miserable. Dark smoke and clouds of metal fill your dreams. You awake to dramatic Jeff Beal and Hans Zimmer soundtracks. You are quite the eager one to praise the mental illnesses of Chris Whalen, Jim Chanos and Rick Santelli, as you declare them to be “truthers”–when in fact they are nothing more than comic book villains, fucktards, easily dismissed while splashing the contents of a singular glass of brandy into the fire place for sport.

I am attempting to fine tune my art of investing like a Swiss time piece. You, on the other hand, are throwing shit against the wall because that’s how you are hard wired. This is my life’s work. There is much to be done and my skills are bound to increase, exponentially, as my experiments continue. I would not partake in such work if I didn’t know there was a secret, a holy grail of sorts, to successfully automating trades. Please do not dare compare the shit you call algorithms or screeners (think Trade-ideas) to what we are doing here at iBC.

In summary, today was not such a bad day after all. My stocks rallied back, as asshole dip buyers reasserted themselves into the fold. I am looking forward to a “fuck you, you’re dead” rally tomorrow. However, at the same token, I would not be surprised if dove onto beach rocks either.

Honey badger.

Despite the fucking ORCL and other tech names are receiving today, I am not scared. Even though my DECK is being manslaughtered by some metrosexual analyst with an ax to grind, I am not selling.

I sold out of EXK because my urinal shadows do not like silver here. I sold out of TNA because of SHOMP. My TZA position is very small when compared to my holdings. It is more of a statement than a position. In other words, I am still long, albeit not happy, into a bit of weakness here.

Truth be told, I have no business being so long–going into X-Mas. I had my annual highs just two weeks ago, with ample cash and not a care in the world. I fucking bought stocks again, like the crack-pipe smoking asshole that I am, and ruined everything. Now I am relying on Hanukkah Harry, Santa Claus and fucking Kwanza Kwame to bail me the fuck out, like some sort of destitute vagrant panhandling for beer money on 42nd street.

There is no difference between the beggar and myself, at this juncture in time. The scale is much different, where I am looking for millions, the beggar only wants $3. But the philosophy is the same. This really pisses me the fuck off.

Hold on a sec, let me offer a prayer, since I am sooo fucking religious.

Dear Santa,

Please kill everyone who gets in my way. I am a spoiled brat bastard who spends money like a hooker and would like to make a few million in stocks, before the end of the year. If at all possible, can you make the Federal Reserve do something or force Germany, through water boarding or other benign forms of torture, to step the fuck up and create more money, in order to fuck the poor and help me out? After all, I really want to buy a few more cars, new house and I’ve been eyeballing this $90,000 Patek watch.

Thanks in advance,

Spoiled fucking brat, Le Fly

I bought a small amount of TZA.

I sold both TNA and EXK.