I Know Why the Market is Down

It’s because we’re in a new bear’d market, fucked face. Why don’t you get out from your wheeled chairs, put down the creamed cheese sandwiches, and make preparations? It’s best to do it now, on your terms, than later on when forced by pistol, isn’t it?

The margin clerks are working furiously at their stupid desks, sending out Fed and House calls for your perusal. By 3 o’clock you will either have to sell to cover said call or raise new funds. When I was younger and retarded, I’d raise new funds to chase down margin calls. Never do that. More often than not, there’s a reason why you are receiving a margin call, all to do with BEING WRONG. By satisfying margin calls with new money is the definition of throwing good money after bad.

My point is this: I sit here atop a mountain of cash, with almost 50% of my assets in money markets doing nothing. Sure I see VHC down; but does it really matter? We all know how the story will end. There will be peaks and valleys along the way. But the ultimate destination is much, much higher–in my opinion of course. If I chose to allocate just $250,000 into VHC, it would trade up a buck from here. It’s very thin. Don’t judge it.

Do not commit heresy. Believe everything in these scriptures to be fact, else end up on the receiving end of jaw breaking uppercut.

I won’t bore you with self-aggrandizement on this commemorative day, celebrating the 5th year of iBankCoin’s existence. If any of you have any questions about the site, current bloggers and past, I will answer them today to the best of my ability. Other than that, today is just another day at the offices of iBankCoin–home of the internet laser beam (TiLB) and Orbital Space Cannon (OSC).

We haven’t come a long way since 2007. Frankly, in many ways, the site is as ignorant as ever. I haven’t learned a thing about “internet decorum” and generally despise all other finance bloggers, except the people who write on iBC. I don’t offer any conciliatory gestures to my enemies and have broken alliances with numerous people since the birth of iBC 5 years ago. To date, we’ve banned well over 1,000 people from reading the site and many more from commenting. In a way, iBC has become a prison, where only the powerful gang leaders are permitted to walk freely. For that, I am very proud of what we have accomplished here.

We still despise the main stream financial media, and couldn’t care less about garnering gratuitous notoriety through pandering to them. Fuck them twice over with a bag of flaming coals.

I like to think of iBankCoin as a giant pirate ship, operating under the auspices of “The Black Flag”, sinking other ships in our path because it’s fun. Naturally the goal here is to take as much bounty as we can– before the whole ocean dries up and we’re all left for dead. To accomplish stated goals we take an unorthodox approach to the management of money, derived from a handbook passed down to me from my urinal shadows.

REJOICE the 5th birthday of iBankCoin by punching your neighbor in his face! Go knock some mustaches off and thank you for making iBankCoin the most belligerent and abrasive site the world has ever known, sans some of those Al Qaeda recruitment sites.

This trade is going to be very simple. Sell stocks and seek refuge in the niche. What is the niche?

Special situations, driven by near term catalysts. Take the rip, then run.

For the past two years Wall Street gave Obama a pass–him and his “pay your fair share” shtick– because no one believed it would happen. However, rest assured, taxes are going up on corporations and you will eat your peas. This is not a question of if stocks will trade lower, but by how much? There will be a PE compression to price in higher corporate tax rates. If the government was doing this to fix its balance sheet, Wall Street might forgive them. But this is about entitlements. They want to take from us and give to them–a recipe for mutual destruction.

This will bubble to the surface in short order, as the “fiscal cliff” nears.

I’m not sure how much downside we will endure. I only know we will endure it and see it through. I will not actively short stocks because the Federal Reserve is very active in manipulating the market. Channeling my inner Jakegint, I believe gold/silver will be the safest way to play the Fed’s manipulation. Stocks like VHC, SWHC, and others, will serve as ‘special situations’ to help kill the time as the market bleeds itself dry.

In short, take any respite in the market as an opportunity to get out, for the fiscal cliff is nearing and no one gives  a shit about your money anymore.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FdCpbTP1VIM&feature=results_video

In the beginning of 2012, I alerted the masses that is would be “the year of generosity” for me. I would take time out from my days of asset management, blog-fathering, shopping for sculptures and rare pieces of art, in order to help the ‘less fortunate.’ Since Obama the Great was reelected, and we’re all in the community spirit, I felt it was incumbent upon myself to “increase the generosity” via an internet blog.

Short sellers of VHC:

Go spend time with your families. It’s the holiday season and your kids want to receive X-mas presents. Buy back the shares you borrowed and use whatever proceeds that are left to buy video games from Gamestop or stuffed animals from Toys-R-Us.

Rest assured, uninformed short sellers stuck in VHC, you are going to lose. It’s not a matter of if but when.

The tall tides of inevitability are rising against you. There are numerous short term catalysts in the pipeline that will cause frenetic buying sprees, in the most gratuitous and horrific ways possible. I could envision, for example, a licensing deal or two that might allow the stock to gap higher by $15 points in a day. Or, for example, Judge Davis might mediate a licensing deal with AAPL and VHC on 12/14–causing the shares to jump by 35%.

Ultimately, the stock will trade to $100, AND MORE.

I tell you this, offering sagely advice on a slow, somber, Saturday afternoon, only because of my oath of generosity. When 2013 comes around, I’ll be eating your livers again. You can count on it.

I am exercising restraint into the bell, wanting to add to SWHC. However, I realize market forces are moving against me, so I will wait. Either way, the 2nd amendment will be threatened in two years, both SWHC and RGR stand to make a great deal of money before then.

I took a breather today, with VHC simmering down, after a fanatical run. I am bullish on gold/silver, bearish on the dollar. I don’t think we’re heading into a Hugh Hendry style ‘deflationary vortex.’ Instead, I believe stocks are just set to decline by 10% from current levels.

I know it pains you to hear that; but it’s the truth, so get used to it.

Finally, iBankCoin will be celebrating its 5th anniversary on Monday. We’ve built a powerful brand since then, being a beacon of truth and transparency, under the ironic cloak of secrecy, like none other. I am honored (no Pearlman) to work side by side with my tabbed bloggers: Chess, RC, Wood, Scott, Caine and even the good Senator from KY–Jakegint. We’ve shuffled the deck quite a bit since 2007–but one thing has remained constant: you, fucktards from the internets. I enjoy banning you and listening to your trivial problems, such as “mammoth style losses” and “unforseen, black swan events”– damaging your purse.

To commemorate our fifth anniversary, I am giving away $2,000 in the form of ‘STOCK CONTEST.’ Once again, this is open, exclusively, to the members of 12631. If you’re a PPT member and have been on the fence, now is the time to join because this Sunday is the last day to throw your hat in the ring. Plus, you fuckers might even learn something for a change.

NOTE: For the uninitiated, before you can become a 12631 member, you must first belong to The PPT.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMR45VOKj58&feature=g-vrec

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fuUnd9Db6Hg 603 500]

If I am lucky, and of course fortunate, VHC will trade down a few dollars, so that I can buy more. I am willing and able to make it a staggering 40% position, which will then be unwound, slowly, as it marches higher.

I am not hoodwinked by this rally and know it to be false. The market had to rally today, else all would’ve been lost. Reserving myself for a moment, the market always trades down the week of an election, at least it has done so 7 out of the last 10 presidential elections. Naturally, I will keep an open mind for Ben Bernanke to come out from retirement, to swing this market higher. I understand he is on siesta, lost in Mexico, high on mushrooms.

From my vantage point, there is no rush to buy equities, into an economy that appears to be spiraling lower, based upon recent earnings reports. I favor a few things, like housing, building materials, guns, maybe refiners. But for the most part, I wish death and destruction upon most publicly traded companies. We all are afforded the opportunity to burn in hell, this is theirs.

The entire market is relying upon the share price of AAPL. It needs to hold. As a point in fact, according to The PPT, AAPL hasn’t been this OVERSOLD since December of 2011, when the stock was $385. Unfortunately, everyone seems to know it, which makes a true bounce difficult, thanks to all the fucking retards in the stock.

Finally, I am very tempted to buy YELP, if only for a small taste. I love the company and made a fortune in it earlier this year. However, my urinal shadows are prohibiting me from doing so, telling me to “cop a walk you bastard; we’re not buying that shit again.”

I will try to convince them otherwise.

I’m actually constructive on JCP, despite the disaster. I did some ‘field work’ last time I was at the mall and the manager I spoke to explained the strategy. He said the elimination of coupons has resulted in sales to taper off because old fuckers in wheeled chairs no longer impulse shop. But, the elimination of the coupons were vital to get rid of the fucking lone ass lines, plaguing the stores. Secondly, they are replacing all of the computers/cash registers with iPads to ring up customers in the “Apple way.” Lastly, he is renting out square footage, like Macy’s, to the likes of Sephora, Levis and others. Now it’s going to take time for these changes to take place and EVERYTHING is being marked down. If you’re looking for deals, go to JCP because everything is marked down by 50%, as JCP draws down its inventory. In the future, they will no longer carry vast amounts of inventory and are in the process of eliminating multiple underperforming brands.

Fade Cramer. Keep an eye on JCP.

We are now in a bear market, led by the homosexuals at GRPN. Whoever brought them public, specifically, should be imprisoned.

Unless we wash out 500 points, I am not interested in putting my money to work. I am quite content being half cash, long VHC, EXK, SWHC and a few other small positions.

In summary, as promised, “The Fly” has risen from the dead (extra zombie), just like Jesus, and is now devouring the brains of others, clad in the finest dinner jacket you’ve ever had the honour of witnessing.

NOTE: Yelp is getting into the buy zone and is of great interest to me, following the PCLN for KYAK deal.

One constant in my life has been the ability to win, all the time, even when things look dreadfully dire. Readers of iBankCoin have come to expect the unexpected, wins shooting out from my ass at times when it makes no sense, such as YELP doubling when the sector was being dismantled.

VHC is no different.

While its true, I depend on a network of people and information, at times, to help me along. But in this business of professional, high grade, asset management, you’re only as good as the people you surround yourself with.

Case in point: my programmer, VINCENZO ILLUMINATI, will only code from the decadency of a 18th century, Victorian desk, listening to “drawing room” music, wearing a powdered white wig. Some might think his ritual is odd, almost psychotic; however, he’s the best programmer that I know. Therefore, by extension, he’s the best programmer in the world.

The people that I know are the very best, you’d know this only if you were me. But you’re not, so fuck off.

I stretched higher by almost 3% today, almost matching yesterday’s 5.5% extravaganza. I’ve recaptured almost 10 percent this week, putting me back to +28% for the year, also known as much better than you and your stupid fucking friends.

I don’t think some of you realize how divided this country is right now. Some of you get it, because you live inside the confederacy. I’ve always considered myself to be a “southern gentlemen”, amongst many other things, despite being born and bred in the heathenous, ruinous north. There are some things that cannot be forgiven, one of which is the reelection of Barack Obama.

I speak to many well to do people and they are protesting with their coin. I believe gun sales will shoot higher too. Hell, a 79 year old client of mine from Texas went out and bought a new gun today. What the fuck did he do that for?! People are moved by emotions. They believe in certain ideals and will do whatever they can to see them come to fruition. That being said, maybe Obama’s vision for the future is the right one. I am not here to judge.

However, what I am here to do is direct client funds in the most optimal place possible. On Jupiter’s Stone, we are heading for significantly lower prices, despite the blips to the upside that is to be expected along the way.

I allocated 8% of assets in SWHC today, putting me at 47% cash. I have nearly 30% of my assets tied up in VHC and another 8% in EXK. The other 1% is reserved for old man stocks, none of which hold any weight in these discussions.

My advice to you, very simply, is to run. For dear God, Bernanke is too stoned to realize what is going on here.

As of right now, I am bullish on VHC, gold/silver, guns/beer and bearish as fuck on everything else. Plus, the Mayans are gonna come back from the dead and destroy the planet in two months anyway.