18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
So GPRO is the #1 ranked search item on Yahoo’s front page. People who are selling it short only point to the fucking lock up period expiration and like to compare it to FEYE. Listen here, fucked face, FEYE was trading at 23x sales back then. Do you even know where GPRO is trading? Of course you don’t–because you’re a hack.
It’s trading a touch over 7x, only 300% less than where FEYE was trading in March of 2014. Plus, let’s not forget, GPRO is going to smmmmoke earnings, as America panics to buy the latest GoPro cam, currently sold the fuck out–nationwide.
The Gods tell me she reverses today and begins to hammer in your smug faces, from now until the day that you perish.
We are getting a fierce and ferocious bounce in oil related names. The stocks that have been the very bane to society might serve as its savior today. With 5-15% gains running strong now, there is a better than average chance it lifts the entire market higher today.
Last night I took to the Twitter to let the world know we’d be down 200+ today. The childish games with the futures markets has to end and many, many people should be imprisoned and/or executed because of it. Also, last night we got to see the Chinese market down more than 5%. This morning, the ass lovers from Greece have added turmoil to their daily repertoire, sending their utterly retarded exchange down 11%.
Adding insult to injury, CONN missed earnings by several football fields and will likely detonate C-4 explosives onto one of my smaller positions, HGG.
Nothing is going right this December–because the end of the bull market is here. This is happening NOW, in real time, and I missed it.
The breath taking drop in crude, coupled with a Fed Chief whose dimwitted and old as shit, makes for a very precarious situation near Dow 18,000.
Great declines await you my dear friends, as investors get washed out and their brains exploded by chards of metal. As you know, I am all but fully invested, maybe no more than 10% in cash. My year, and possibly my entire career, has been tossed into the flaming barrel of garbage for the history books to figure out at a later date. As a citizen of the United States, specifically hailing from the Northeast corridor where this great nation was founded, I fully intend to behave in a manner that is becoming of a gentlemen, withstanding outrageous losses whilst sipping on fine brandy, reading the morning newspaper.
Will I sell everything today?
That is the $24,000 question. I have a mind to do it, you know. At the end of the day, I am now beyond acceptance. I am in a new phase called “driving automobile made from dynamite sticks into a fucking wall that happens to be on fire.”
Do not join me in this ride, for I prefer to go it alone.
I was going over the all-time traffic leaders on iBankCoin the other day, in which I lead the pack by a mere 11 million. And an idea struck me: why not get the old crew, sans those who excommunicated me and discarded iBC to the trash heap for the sake of ‘business’, for one week to talk to the reader class? I am still on good terms with all of the former tabbed bloggers, so I reached out to them and this is who I got so far.
Breakfast Taco (old school FOWS, MVIS days)
Danny aka SpyderCrusher
Woodshedder
Jakegint
The Chart Addict
Henry Fool
Rhino
Mr. Bilderberg
RAG
BEAS
The Devil
Chuck Bennett
The Analyst Bomber
Greenwriter
Scott Bleier
UPDATE: Gunners
Am I missing anyone?
The festivities will begin on the week of December 22nd and it will be something to BEHOLD.
3 month returns from some of your favorite sectors.
Listen to me: If any of you talk shit today, I am flying out to your city to pummel your eyebrows off your head. Comments, such as “stop whining bra. Be a man” will result in you being placed on my kill list. This isn’t a game. I am not idly tossing around ideas for a newsletter. I AM BEING FUCKING DISMANTLED, in real time, using real money.
Now the CNBC will have you believe the market is doing just fine. Have a look at the image above.
I didn’t sell today–because I don’t sell into holes. You can sell into the hole and preserve your pittance. Seeing oil stocks down 75% over the past 3 months has me thinking “this may be overdone.” But that’s not even my problem. I have to deal with the Dante’s Inferno of owning GPRO, YELP, BALT and others.
I lost 3% today and I hate this life more than anything else in the world. I eagerly await the apocalypse and look forward to starting a new career as hired assasin.
Following some staggering 1 month declines to the tune of 50%, is anyone taking the plunge into oil here or around these prices? If so, what are your favorite ways to lose money in oil?
I am flabbergasted by the pin less hand grenade action in SLCA, EMES, HCLP and FMSA.
Although the market is flat today, there is widespread panic amidst a number of sectors, especially oil. Drillers, as a collective, are down a staggering 8% today alone. The month of December, usually marked with subtle moves and feelings of euphoria, has been nothing less than hellish for momentum players.
Here are some of the standouts, MTD.
(mkt cap bigger than $1bill)
On the bright side, the NASDAQ is slightly lower for the month, off just by 0.5%. Technicals have held up great, despite the collapse in oil. The last two times the NASDAQ fell in December was in 2011 and 2012, off by less than 1%–just like now. In January of 2012 and 2013, the NASDAQ rose by 8.43% and 2.67%, respectively. The market looks like shit now. But don’t count out a strong reflect rally in January. Until then, try to endure hell best you can.
I am not going to try to find a bottom in crude. For all of you who are buying on the way down, I wish you luck. This isn’t like a stock that just missed earnings. Oil isn’t going to V-shape up. The major integrated oil companies are going to slash their capex budgets and the small players will be crushed because of it. Having said that, I am certain there is a violent upside bounce to be had somewhere. For me, I don’t feel like playing that game.
GPRO is trading sharply lower this morning, which is par for the course. It has morphed into a sickly stock, a regular Tiny Tim. Just a few weeks ago, it was a rock solid porn star, crushing the feeble skulls of those who bet against it. Now, geez, it’s just a paradiddle, easily crushed under the weight of weak sellers.
Instead of lamenting on my losers, which gets boring, let’s talk about the sea change that is taking place in fast food. MCD reported abysmal numbers this morning, which is a testament to how much America hates them. MCD, BKW, YUM and WEN are all on the way out, paving a path for new players like BWLD, CMG, HABT and PNRA.
To offer an analogy, HABT/Shake Shack and others of that ilk (high quality hamburger restaurant) are to MCD/BKW what Apple was to Compaq 10 years ago. MCD dominates the hamburger genre, but has lost its way. America is becoming a more health conscious society. You can easily see it in our consumption of soda vs water and cigarette use stats. The ascendency of WFM vs the bedraggled microbes at Pathmark and other ridiculous supermarkets is only the tip of the iceberg of what is coming.
Naturally, with any major shift in society, the move is incremental. Old schoolers will cling onto the past, bidding up MCD on any semblance of positive news. They will scoff at companies like HABT and Shake Shack as being ‘hyped’ or ‘overvalued’, point to lock up periods as a reason to hate the company–all noise. The bigger picture is market share shift and who will be the winners 5 years from now.
Let’s all take a moment to be thankful for the Dow Jones Industrial Average, as it approaches the historic number of 18,000. Never mind the fact that Visa made up 30% of the move higher, from 17,000 to 18,000, or that a myriad of high growth industries have been fucking pummeled into dust. Let’s simply ignore all of that and jerk off to the wonders of Dow 18,000.
One more thing before I go (extra Columbo), have a look at some of the returns of choice industries over these past 3, wonderful, months.
