THE CREME ALWAYS RISES TO THE TOP

Now +8% year to date, generally bowling on your lazy ham and eggers with a vicious audacity.

Come to Yandex and have big party on the computer. Google is American shit, who only wants to build cars for lazy people and glasses for perverts and spies. In Russia, all the people use Yandex because it’s cool and better than Google.

Look at this favorite search in Russia. See how cool that is, yes? Just buy stock and retire off coast of Monaco. You’ll be big man once shares go up, no?

All of the news you hear about Ruble and Russian economy is big black American lie, yes? Here in Moscow, we are very warm and fat. We have meat and bread and lots of women.

Go to Yandex for the news. It’s much better than Brian Williams.

This message was paid for by the KGB

I sold PEIX and replaced it with VALE.

I also added to my YNDX position, making it a top 3 holding.

What a wonderful coincidence to see oil spiraling higher again, just after a peace agreement was reached in the Ukraine. I wonder what they have that we want over there? Maybe Jesus’ bones are buried there, or perhaps some rare earth metal, which can be used for our cellular mobile telephones? Either way, oil is definitely making the seasonal gods look meaningful this morning.

This play is very, very easy. Buy the oil stocks that are down most, who have massive short positions in them, and then crush the skulls of those embedded short inside of them. If you’re bored, you can do this over and over again. It’s a lovely game, indeud.

Here is my execution list.

SFY
CRK
EPE
UPL
PGN
NOG
REXX
WTI
BBG
PACD
EXXI
SLCA
BAS
FMSA

Bear in mind, most of those names are complete shit and will wipe out your family fortune, should you fall into a coma and wake up a year from now. The best name on that list, by far, is SLCA. They are the real deal, vendors of beach sand to rednecks who enjoy contaminating drinking water.

It’s worth noting, I’d be reducing oil positions into this melt up. I’m actually looking at banks and some steel here, namely BBD, VALE and TCK.

My only question to you is, now that every single short thesis has been repudiated and rejected, will you shut up now?

I added to my YNDX position.

I sold ACAT (+11%) and averaged down in BABA.

I also sold DVN to reduce my exposure to crude and bought SBNY, which will be a long term position.

I haven’t really talked about the majority of my positions in a long time. Instead, I’ve focused solely on some of my swing trades, which for the most part, is a smaller portion of my overall assets under management.

I have two major losers on the books: SLCA, YELP. I have a choice to make with them.

1. Raise capital to average down.
2. Ignore them.
3. Cut them loose.

I do not want to sell them, not here. But, I don’t want to add to them either. So, for the time being, I am going to ignore them and make money elsewhere.

My long term account is now at the highs of the year, up 6%. Where am I making my gains?

AAPL +45%
BX +12%
STZ +31%
GILD +12%
FB +120%
HCA +7%
HAIN +32%
HAR +29%
JAZZ +16%
N +17%
PANW +46%
BID +19.5%
TOL +11%
WFM +49%
ACAT +11%

As you can see, I have been picking some good stocks over the past 6 months. But you fuckers were too focused on the likes of GPRO and BALT to notice. I have some future winners in the making too. I think ICPT, OXY, HABT and MUSA work long term. Short term, I think PEIX, PACD and FMSA will give me ideal exits points. Overall, I am long almost 40 names, which is a big change from how I’ve been positioned over the past 7 years. In the past I’d concentrate my positions and rip in and out of them with frequency. What I am trying to do now is be more patient and let winners win. The only way I am able to do that is by having a wide array of holdings, none constituting more than 5% of capital.

As for active swing trades, those are still overweight. I intend to leverage those trades to bolster my returns.

On February the 15th, peace and harmony will reign in the Ukraine. That gives the lads over there just 3 more days to kill and maim one another. If you are a soldier in Russia or in the Ukraine and you are reading this blog, let me just say you are wasting valuable time. Get the fuck off the computers and grab your Kalashnikov and get out there. A peace accord has been reached and war will expire in exactly 3 days.

On another front, a deal between the Nazis and the rear-end of Europe has been reached as well.

All of this culminates to one desirable effect: THE COMPLETE ERADICATION OF ALL SEMBLANCES OF THE BEARISH POPULATION.

Consider today a repudiation of who you are, not just your investment intelligence. This is more than just a rally; this is mockery, largess. Shame on all of you for missing out on this easy to predict outcome. A great shame, as well as pox, looms over your house.

As for me, I’ve been celebrating the gains to be had in my YNDX position amidst large vats of hot coffee. I did not require sleep last night, as I was kept up by the ramblings that take place inside of my head, new ventures, ideas, opinions and the like.

Oil is roaring higher, since a deal in the Ukraine means we are no longer required to bankrupt Moscow. Ergo, oil back to $100. Fuck you very much.

Everything is exactly what it seems, for good or for worse.

Celebrating America’s 14th consecutive year at war, President Obama asked congress for permission (lolz) to attack ISIS. What’s especially innovative about this new enemy is the sheer stupidity of it. After we left Iraq, a power vacuum was established. All of the crazies broke out from prison and took up arms in the name of a mythical creature.

These escapees soon banded together to form a standing army and carved out their own little paradise on earth, known as The Islamic State. In their spare time, they get to toss homosexuals off roof tops, stone women to death, and behead countless infidels for not praying to the correct mythical creature.

Now enter the US military apparatus. We’ve had a rough time dealing with terrorist organizations because they like to blend in with civilians and blow up cafes when we least expect it. But this ISIS group isn’t into subtlety. They actually believe that their stupid little army of roaming idiots can stand up to the full might and power of the largest military-industrial complex the world has ever known. We are going to slaughter them by the bushel. Their guts will be used to grease the treads of our tanks (extra Patton).

This battle to come against the dumbest army on the planet is going to top off Obama’s legacy as the single best Commander in Chief since FDR. Not only that, the Dow Jones Industrial Average will soar because of it, paving the way for a future Presidency for none other than Mrs. Michelle Obama.