In Search of Idiot Ideas

I just drank a bottle wine, so pardon any forthcoming grammatical errors.

Since I was unable to invest an abundant amount of cash today, in a desperate attempt at finding a diamond in a middle of a junkyard, I’ve come to you, the reader class.

What I want you to do is this: give me your largest holding. I don’t want your ‘best idea’, because often times human beings discredit themselves and tend to misconstrue that as a request for the largest gamble. What I want from you, the dirty, rotten pleb char-wallah inside of a housing tenement with just one bathroom and bad seats at your local baseball team game: I want your top fucking holding.

Leave it now in the comments section and I will peruse it, as if it was something serious to consider.

Thanks, pal.

Fuck this shit. I’ve been sitting here, disgusted by the choices in front of me, indecisive about everything but one single thing: FUCK GOLD AGAIN. I sold out of GDX, never to return again.

All of this time I’ve wasted trying to become a gold man and for what!? I have nothing to show for it. My kids will think I am a loser, with zero gold bricks in my satchel and zero gold coins in my bank. This whole mining business is a racket, a fucking racket. Now I must figure out what to do with the proceeds. EASIER SAID THAN DONE, FUCKED FACE.

There is nothing that I feel like buying. I bought some SAGE, earlier in the day. And what has that done for me? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. Nothing at all. As a matter of fact, I believe I am down on the stock, a few pennies or something like that.

I combed through every single sector, desperate in search for treasure and I disliked everything. I felt like spitting on my screen; but I opted against it because it’s disgusting. However, if the CEO of any gold company was here in front of me now, I’d spit on his face, then rip his collar bone out from his skin bag.

SBNY looks good. Lots of banks “look good.” I was also tempted to buy SLCA. But you know what I should do?

NOTHING. Nothing at all.

I have nothing for you; therefore I am nothing. As such, I am leaving now and might never return.

DEVELOPING…

I am underperforming today, so I made some changes. Empirically, I believe the entire nation of China to be a depraved and unique species of human being, born to lie and told to steal from young. As trading vehicles, they are great, as they eschew decorum and decency amongst man. HOWEVER, I will never hold a Chinese Burrito stock past a 10% loss, because it will soon find its way towards -99%, or WORSE! As such, I’ve sold out from BITA and hope the company burns to the ground, killing everyone with it.

In its stead, I’ve begun to buy drugs again, wholly off the wagon in search for a good time. To properly “party”, as you cocaine addled option whores like to call it, I’ve purchased shares of SAGE and ICPT.

How many times must I endure the Greek bailout talks, before I split my head in half with an Orbital Space Cannon (OSC)? For the love of fucks sake, can we conclude this chapter in our miserable lives?

Also, what sort of fucked up tape this this, with just 70% of stocks higher for the day? My chinese burrito stock, BITA, is getting its bit-frames re-jiggered and bo-jangled all over the fucking pavement. XLU is meh and GDX is lower, naturally.

I’m not particularly fond of this melt up, not the inane reasons for you. HOWEVER, let me remind you that this is a bulled up market. My missives are nothing more than immaturity, grande scale, seeping through my hardened exterior. If I am being perfectly honest with myself, I should be ashamed for not catching this wave and should be lashing myself about the back and kidney areas of my torso. I will try better, harder, and make sure this NEVER happens again, especially with that chinese burrito and gold shit.

Before I make changes, I want to see how the market digests this uneventful news.

Congratulations on doing what you’re supposed to do, with regards to raising your children. If you, by chance, you’re looking for gratuitous accolades from me, you’ve come to the wrong spot. If you’re a bad parent, it’s probably because you’re a selfish loafer, a byproduct of an inferior genetic make up. God willing your children are genetic outliers and can contribute something to society, instead of chin-wagging about the gogglebox–eating cheesed doodles.

Happy fucking Father’s Day, asshole.

Futures look strong early on. Greece is a 100% failure at some point this year. The only question is when and how much it will affect other weak euro nations, like Portugal, Italy, Spain and France (lolz). You do realize at some point in our lifetimes the euro will be one gigantic failure, yes? At some point, world markets will swim in a sea of blood, with guys like Bluestar bathing it in to his devilish delight.

We’re not there yet. The end game isn’t upon us, despite worldwide debt at record levels.

For now, my two largest positions are XLU and GDX. I have a wide array of positions than will ensure market participation should we rally. But I am very cautious right now, at least until I get some clarity on what in the hell is going on.

Two things: 12631 and After Hours with Option Addict trials end at midnight. Thank you for the hundreds of people who’ve given it a try. I hope you’ve bear’d witness to the value proposition and look forward to seeing your subscriptions. I am watching all of you, omnipresent style.

These are three different films: Before Sunrise was made in 1995, Before Sunset was made in 2004 and Before Midnight was made in 2013.

I promise you, you’ll never see anything as unique as these 3 films. This is truly a “Tour De Force”, a trilogy spanning 20 years, starring the same actors (Ethan Hawk, Julie Delpy)–set out to examine a singular relationship and watch it develop over time. Naturally, when they first meet, everything is young, vibrant and electric. However, over time, life happens and then you get to see the subtleties of their relationship, which is very much like any relationship you’ve ever been in.

If you have some idle time and want to watch 3 great films about love and how the circumstances of every day life can fuck it up, these films are for you. It’s a little artsy; but the payoff is well worth it. Trust me.

First of all, stop offering me advice, period. The older I get, the greater awareness I have that I am genetically superior to you. All of the unsolicited advice strewn across my mind palace, on here and other social media venues, needs to stop–immediately.

But today I want to touch on another topic: QUADRUPLE WITCHING.

You know, fuck all of you guys and your condescending demeanor towards anyone who wasn’t– at some point in their fucked up Wall St careers– a pitched-fork serpent devil circulating in the options pits of Chicago.

“Bro, you have no idea. Watch them pin that stock. Look at the open interest. Bro, I am telling you.”

“Oh, look at that shit. Come here and look, bro; THEY’RE PINNING THEM.”

I recall in 2009 when those fucking pins were being summarily removed from the market and inserted into your fucking faces. Before I drink this entire barrel of wine, know this: one day the market will disjoint from fantasy island and it will happen on quadruple witching. It will rip your option trading faces off and skull fuck your eye sockets until the margin clerk gets around to blowing your brains out.

Fuck your pins and your options and everything else that you find to be “sanctimonious.”

I was down 0.5% today, on my day off, traveling about the Northeast corridor of the United States like a fucking vacuum salesman.

Tomorrow I press for our rights outside of the confines of Princeton and onto other, lesser, states. In my stead, I fully expect The Option Addict to seize control of the front page headline. To that point, tomorrow is the last day to enjoy the grandeur that is the 12631 trading room and After Hours with Option Addict wrap up.

I ENTREAT YOU TO ACCEPT THIS GRACIOUS GIFT AND BEHOLD THE WINSHIP THAT BARES ITSELF NAKED THERE.

After Hours Free Trial

12631 Trading Room

What should you expect?

100-600% returns in some of OA’s insane chinese burritos option plays and solid double after double, off the fucking wall, by Ragin Cajun.

All that aside, I wish you all good luck during tomorrow’s tape and look forward to schooling you fuckers in the Art of Cinema come Saturday.

I am down to about 10% cash, heavily fortified in XLU and GDX positions, both comprising of 10% and 7% of my assets respectively. Names like DATE and BITA are mere lottery tickets, denizens of depravity to fulfill my inborn desire to inflict harm upon myself.

On a day like today, rookies are calling their clients suggesting they mortgage out the farm to get in now before the market goes up any further. This is a classic punk move, one that would be treated as a capital crime at a brokerage firm under my tutelage. What’s important to note is the undeniable fact that the market isn’t interested in heading lower. Fighting the tape is equal to trying to shoot down an atomic bomb with a water pistol. Eventually, you’ll be disintegrated into dust–leaving nothing but your shadow on the wall in memoriam.

I am looking into buying TLT or AAL next. I feel oil is on the other side of the mountain and the sell off in airlines is overdone. However, I’m in no rush to do so while up 32% for the year–bowling on you clowns like it was my job.

In summary, my largest holdings are XLU, GDX, SBNY, AAPL and RDWR–with a 10% cash cushion as a kicker to your nuts, in the event dark clouds descend upon you.

Reminder: Join us in NYC this fall for the 2nd annual iBankCoin Investors Conference, NYC. I promise you these prices are going up.

I sold out from QLYS for a glorious cyber-security styled win. With a small portion of the winnings, I bought DATE–chinese online dating venue, whereby celestials meet one another for the explicit purposes of fornication, without (god forbid) bearing offsprings.