iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,431 Blog Posts

Futures Soar as Unlimited Money Hack Provides Fire For Bulls

You don’t like RIGGED markets? Why the hell not? The market can go two ways, up or down. When it goes down, everything gets scary. People lose their jobs and jump out from windows. When it goes up, pink cocaine is flung around at parties and people pop champagne corks into each other’s face. You have two options — bet lower or higher — 50/50 chance — right?

WRONG.

100% chance of higher, but because we’re all smarter than the market — we root for the underdog. We root for the NY Mets while the bastard fucking Yanks win championship after championship.

If rigged, great. It would be equal to playing a video game that gave you UNLIMITED MONEY after kicking some monkey in the ass. In this reality, every time men with power get scared of losing their stuff, they force the government to make markets go higher. They have UNLIMITED money tricks — because we have the strongest military. As a pleb, all you have to do is go along for the ride and quit thinking you’re smarter.

Bear in mind, this isn’t a recommendation for passive investment, at least not now. You cannot get the sort of returns I am banking on a daily basis by buying and holdings. The point I am attempting to make is that RIGGED markets isn’s such a bad thing. You have the answers to the final exam. Are you man enough to use them?

Do not misconstrue this post for a bull market fanboy missive. I still believe we’re entering a horrible bear tape. But along the way, expect those bastards to fight it the whole way, pulling tricks out from their assholes and shoving them on CNBC for the public to admire.

Nasdaq futs are +140.

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25 comments

  1. edge

    That is the market today. It’s a custom made trader’s market, plenty of moves…better to be an insider and better when there were no bots but, still, pretty damn good.
    The people who have faith in this crap I feel for though. This will not go well for many.

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  2. narwhal

    You will never stop the Prime trucks from burning doughnuts in your lawn and ploughing over your mailedbox. Nor can you stop both amzn and nflx from making new all time highs, straight up through the middle of this bear market.

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  3. narcist

    I enjoy the bull-bear debates but I just trade what’s in front of me regardless of what I really think, which the markets don’t care.

    That’s all I do.

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    • quietstorm

      you talk too much.

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      • peaches

        all black men winning a white man’s game “talk too much”

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        • narcist

          I judiciously limit the numbers of words used but it probably has summin to do with their feelings, etc. (Still hurt their ears sometimes no matter how careful I try to be.)

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        • narcist

          And since you went there… I do remember this interview from my early childhood:

          SAM POLLARD: Now, did you purposely act like you were crazy in those days?
          MUHAMMAD ALI: Well, I knew to draw money to make people, the, or the rich people, meaning the White people at the time who could buy ring side seats. So I had to talk, act crazy, supreme, “I am the greatest of all times. I’m pretty. Tell Joe I’ll win the fight.” They said, “The nigger talks too much. The nigger needs to go over.”

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      • narcist

        Only when you’re listening, my dear. <3

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  4. i_am_nemo

    I’ve been out of this game. Up/down/sideways this is going to be a shitshow for a while. Day trade this if you can stomach it.

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    • edge

      What other way is there? Can it be shortened up?

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      • i_am_nemo

        Too much volatility between open and close. This is 2020. Why don’t markets operate 24/7 like crypto.

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  5. Bullish

    Bulls win again, like we always do.

    Buy Buy Buy!

    Hi Fly!

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  6. heckler

    This whole thing is smelling fishy as fuck to me!

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  7. i_am_nemo

    Could Amazon and Tesla team up and takeover the USPS?

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  8. edge

    Buy in at 2800?
    Soooo, the plan is too ignore 2020 and wait for perfection in 2021?
    All-in for me, I have a good feeling about this.

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    • narcist

      Last week I mentioned that ES 2800 was shortable and I proceeded to do just that last Thursday and last night with satisfactory results.

      Tempted to do it again but wouldn’t short now. Patiently waiting on another higher high and the end of the AUD rally.

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  9. tjnyt

    The shopkeeper (WS) knows quite well how to convince the customer that they are getting the best deal.

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    • tjnyt

      I made so much money today, I decided to buy one TSLA put Exp 5/15.

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  10. virginia m. french
    virginia m. french

    It is the need of hour to stay at home avoid corona virus, but do not sit idol and work online and make full use of this hostage period. I am making $75 per hour on my laptop. Here is link to work no instant expense join for free for more detail

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    • tha pirate

      Begone from these hallowed halls yee scurvy lad!

      Arrrrr…

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  11. itsgold

    long 1000%

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  12. edge

    Can you say blow off top? Don’t practice now, buy some puts.

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