Lads.
I trust your New Year’s festivities went well? But now it’s time to get back to work. No more horseplay or malarkey. I don’t want to see you near the water cooler fetching a fucking snack from the vending machines. If I do, and I happen to see you in the act, I will run up to you and punch your jaw loose. You hear me you fucking faggot?
If you’re coming to iBankCoin for daily financial commentary from me, I expect two things from you.
Adhere to our strict dress code.
No more dress down Tuesday here pal. It’s suits all the time, even on the weekends. Not feeling good? A bit under the weather? Got a case of bronchitis? You either put on a suit and don’t log onto the computer. You see those cameras on your computer? We’ve hacked all of them and are watching you.
The second thing is for you to work hard.
No more joking around with Ted or discussing geo-political events with Todd. This is a god damned finance site of the first caliber. There will be none of that going on here. You fucking come and you learn and then you go work.
Now to the market.
Blasting off for 2020 and I happened to be long TVIX. I just took a sharp blow to the cock on this one, which is why you see that I am a bit perturbed. I started off the year with an 11.9% loss in this fucker and another -3.8% ding in some fucking biotech. Stuff like this really gets me pissed, but now I will work twice as hard to make it back. If that’s not enough, I will type so fucking fast into the computer, looking for winning trades, my fingers will bleed and then fall off. I don’t give a shit.
My Quant fund ended 2019 +20%, an abysmal showing in comparison to the SPY. There is a reason for this, and I have made an attempt to fix it. It was too conservative, so I kicked it up a notch. BAM!
Did you just read me say “BAM!”?
Damned right you did.
BAM BAM BAM BAM. Throw some olive oil and bourbon on that. BAM!
I just rebalanced my portfolios, positioned in a new Quant for January, sold two fuckers, bought three, and now I have to eat some fucking lunch — if that’s ok with you?
Good.
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you seem to have lost empathy for people not feeling well in the morning.
I’m glad we can make fun of gays again here.
We can make fun of anyone, just don’t ask a female to show you her jugs. You’ll get banned for that.
No jug requests please.
Of course you are, Daddy.
Hey, does anybody know where there are any good parties? You know, the kind that they don’t allow evil temptresses? Asking for a freind.
https://ibankcoin.com/flyblog/2019/12/17/decade-central-bank-rigging-ending-rigging-come/
http://www.newnownext.com/19-republican-politicians-gay-sex/12/2016/
Loooks like CNN is going to need a bigger meter:
https://money.cnn.com/data/fear-and-greed/
I can’t beleive that you are trying to outpace the market with your quant fund.
How do you like my tie?
Emeril s a ducking boss