iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,558 Blog Posts

CLOSED NEAR THE MUH HIGHS OF THE DAY; LE FLY INDECOROUSLY BEAT DOWN

Good afternoon lads,

I just got back from my afternoon dog walk of picking up shit and running through the mud. When I returned, I was entreated to a runaway market — up 300. This, as you know, is a bane to my collection of inverse ETFs, by which I am losing fortune from.

DO NOT WORRY

Tomorrow I expect the market to crash again, maybe after a Trump tweet or perhaps some indiscriminate tariff. Plus, the President’s approval rating is now greater than 50%, which means absolutely nothing — but it’s good news for the present status quo — which incidentally changes on a daily basis.

For the day, I was +0.8% in one account and down in another. The degrees of my lossitude is, quite frankly, none of your concern.

Topping off my day, I might parlay these losses into a long drive to and fro karate school, an ill conceived denizen where I like to burn money in exchange for parental duties. Afterwards, I might segue into a restaurant for poorly cooked foods or maybe some more grocery shopping — because one could never buy too much hummus and loaves of bread.

FML

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25 comments

  1. ferd

    Yeah, if a Fox News reader reads this Chinese state newspaper to him, he might be triggered to step up the tweets: http://www.globaltimes.cn/content/1096648.shtml

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    • Dr. Fly

      Let’s hope so.

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    • soupbone

      Trump is like dealing with a woman twice bankrupted and divorced three times. What the fuck about Amazon and China? The man drives looking out the rear view mirror.

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    • sarcrilege

      Naah. The fun begins when China starts dumping TSY. It’s not like they are worth anything at all. If a private company gets into too much debt, like the USG, creditors take over. What can China, the creditor here, do re bankrupted USG? Nothing.

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      • it is showtime

        BofA: Markets will soon begin to panic about debt sustainability
        congame. confidence game. who blinks first

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  2. infinitezuul

    Crashy Friday and a crashier next week.

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  3. acehood

    Can you deduct the cost of karate school on taxes?

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    • joyous__ending

      You could during Obama, not now under the new Trump plan.

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  4. roundwego

    China apparently thinks it needs to teach the US, a lesson. they think they can with stand a trade war. Fucking rerard chinks can’t make a decent product without US design direction and we have pull teeth just to get them stop fucking their retard shortcuts that we find out after shipping. All smart chinks are in Taiwan. The cultural revolution mind destruction is still being felt. And fuck all the retarded chink tourists at out national parks, the obnoxious fucks.

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    • masteroneass

      I really dont understand it China Gdp per person is like $1200. It is the land of sweatshop. Lets keep it that way.

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    • numbersgame

      So American companies spend Billionson IP. Rather than hire American workers – their potential custoerms as Henry Ford knew, they decied to pay extra shipping and trasportaion cost to get to the cheaper labor.

      So the Chinese say: you can use our cheap labor, but ten we own hlaf the manfucaturign company and we need to see your IP to see how to build it, of course. And the Chinese are the stupid ones?

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  5. masteroneass

    Going all in crytpo sia and bitcoin. these are both safe havens.

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  6. numbersgame

    I do not expect the market to crash – too predictable.

    I expect the morning to be slightly higher, maybe even a gap up opening. Then I expect sideway or more slightly up action. Mid-day we should see peopel unload stock, because how many want to hold over the weekend based on March action? EoD I expect ramp down, or maybe some 3:45 elevator action.

    Altogether, we’ll probably tick a weekly high, but end the day near Wednesday’s lows.

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    • it is showtime

      It’s the Snb buying. Not: people.
      Snb, Ny fed, Ecb, Citadel
      Are you related to tradingnymph…

      people may be unloading or splurging but the
      overriding intraday contour/direction
      is still
      90%
      controlled
      centrally programmed

      Would the instant-burst around 3:45 be authentic investor buying? No.
      No there was no reason for an on-the-dime reversal after a slight dropoff 3-3:30.
      That’s someone, watching the goddam indexes, and wanting to hold a +1% dow,
      And entering a master level surge order. Stop saying “mom and pop floor traders” are responsible for the outcome. lol nymph never grasped the notion that market-participants were secondary to the index programming over the last 6yrs

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  7. NON Solo

    Why are futures crashing? Any news or just back to our regularly scheduled correction?

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    • blackgld

      Trump promises 100B in new tariffs. The market rebounded over the past few days because many think he won’t follow through. If he does, markets will be much lower in a few months.

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  8. blackgld

    Dow -400 AH

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  9. NON Solo

    Here is why:

    BREAKING: Trump asks US trade representative to consider $100 billion in additional tariffs on Chinese products cnbc.com/2018/04/05/tru…

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  10. acehood

    Fly wins again lol

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  11. ironbird

    Bloomberg according to sources. Hoggs balls finally dropped after taking it dirty from a donkey.

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  12. Lyndon Keltner

    I love President Trump more and more.

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    • joyous__ending

      Combine your posts, they will have more substance.

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  13. Lyndon Keltner

    I want $200 billion when the next porn star opens her mouth.

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  14. roundwego

    Retards copy, cus that is all they can do. Retard strength works for short time but they crash and burn quick when bitch slapped by reality.

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