iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,433 Blog Posts

THE DEVIL VISITS WALL STREET AND TAKES 666 DOW POINTS

Sorry I was out the remainder of the day. I had a luncheon appointment and was eating a most wonderful salmon dish accompanied by a Reisling, celebrating the present day festivities which saw stocks cry for mercy. As fate would have it, the Dow dropped by a heart wrenching 666 points, led lower by everything, and the Nasdaq -144. I got caught in the shower by a raping gorilla, long volatility and gold, and suffered a sailors fate.

The carnage also resulted in a complete breakout of the mental patients at the Bellevue asylum — who are now rummaging throughout the iBankCoin comments section accusing me of performing cunnilingus on my favorite politician, Hillary Rodham Clinton. I kind of like the insane rhetoric, so I think I’ll let them roam around for a bit longer. They make me feel wholly sane and normal.

In case you’re wondering, I didn’t raise any additional cash today; instead, I added to XIV. Over in my quant account, it’s always outfitted with 20% cash, which is to be used only for Exodus oversold signals. We aren’t there yet. As a matter of fact, we haven’t had once since March of 2017. But we’re getting close.

Our 6 month algorithms are flashing oversold — setting up for what could be a systemwide signal early next week.

There was nothing extraordinary about my response to this sell off. In fact, I did the exact opposite of what a nimble trader should’ve done. I took the hardened emotional trade of believing this sell off would be just like the others and faded volatility, while remaining long a slew of stocks getting burnt. This will either pay off in spades or cost me a limb next week.

Ideally, I should’ve shorted something or grabbed a hedge, in light of the sentiment shift. But I was care free, more interested in fine dining, cavorting with rich people, eating salmon. I drank Reisling. There will come a day when all of this grandeur you see before you spoils and a patina of negligence covers every inch of iBankCoin. These halls will become haunted and Fly the Ghost edition will harrow strangers with the sounds of heavy and foreboding chains — warning others to not follow in his footsteps — to avoid investing into an economy that is wrought with dangers, over-leveraged balance sheets, and leaders who are both perverted and corrupt; but I believe that grim future is way off into the horizon. For now, we sing and dance, gayly, traverse, mind you, drunkedly throughout Wall Street — getting into bar fights with others because they’re weak and our dominance must be displayed whenever the alcohol makes us feel strong.

The Dow fell 666 points and the memo has been released — a warning shot to President Trump’s beloved stock’d market has been received.

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18 comments

  1. tonka

    Nearly 100% of XIV’s gains have been roll yield. Why fight the current headwind when you can just wait for the VIX curve to flip back to normal? The flip to backwardation has only marked the exact bottom in XIV 100% of the time.

    If nothing changes XIV will open down ~2% on Monday.

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  2. sarcrilege

    Gold down 1.5%. That’s bullshit. I must have it down 20%, at least, so I can add another roll of maples to my stash. I am not done yet. I like it when it goes on sale and I can get rid of this filthy (((confetti))) for something nice, robust and durable. You ladies better start shorting gold hard cuz 2-5% drop is not considered a very good bargain.

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    • zephler

      no one wants your gold

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    • narwhal

      Maples are cool, if you want to buy bullion made by socialists. If it’s the 24kt composition you’re after, why not go with American Buffalos like a real man?

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  3. og

    I hope the devil tells Dorsey to sell the fucking company this weekend.

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  4. the_wolf

    yawn, this is nothing, just the devil’s son,…
    Lucifer the morning star hasn’t even shown up yet, wait till we’re down 6666

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  5. DaJuice

    Nice post, well written indeed.

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  6. heaterman

    Mmmmm
    Salmon
    Reisling

    A match made in heaven.

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  7. john_galt

    lol, fabulous work!

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  8. masteroneass

    I read somewhere the biggest bubble in human history the FED is unwinding about 50 billion in “assets” from their 4.4 trillion balance sheet a month, simutaneously increasing interest rates. Please someone tell me why they would purchase assets then resell them at a higher price then increase interest rates. This sounds like cheating to me. Cheating the American people. The mock starket grew way to fast way to quick. Not a very good long term strategy. My personal opinion: the FED once again has wrecked the economy and this is just the beginning.

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    • tonka

      When interest rates rise, bond prices fall. Every time the fed raises rates, the bonds on their balance sheet fall in value. So, they are selling them at a lower price.

      They buy treasuries when rates are at 0% and sell them when rates are at 1%+, they will lose money on pretty much everything they purchased…other than some of the distressed MBS they bought

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  9. fxtradepro

    Let me put it to u this way….the fed unwinding the balance sheet and raising interest rates is called QT, quantitative tightening…..effectively the opposite of QE. I can’t wait for the Whitehouse trying to explain that the economy is doing TOO good and that’s the reason your 401K gains are in remission.

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  10. clock

    [Q] …. “For now, we sing and dance, [B][I]gayly[/I][/B], traverse, mind you, drunkedly throughout Wall Street”….[/Q]

    [B][font size=”+3”]Gayly!!!!?[/font][/B]

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  11. clock

    …. “For now, we sing and dance, gayly, traverse, mind you, drunkedly throughout Wall Street”….

    Gayly!!?

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