Let Us Peer into My Blog Roll to See What They’re Talking About

It’s a slow news night. Apparently, there isn’t anything notable coming out of the DNC or Colin Powell gmail accounts, so I figured I’d check in on my fucking blogroll to see what they’ve been up to.

I’ve taken liberties to rewrite their titles, in order to better communicate what they’re really trying to say.

Zerohedge: The Liberal Media are a Pack of Corrupt, Lying, Thieving Wolves

Ritholtz: The Obama Recovery is Finally Starting to Pick Up Steam (not really, median incomes are still below 1999 levels and I suffer from confirmation bias)

A Wealth of Common Sense: I’VE FOUND THE HOLY GRAIL FORMULA FOR INVESTING

Calculated Risk: Degeneracy in Vegas is at Record Highs and That’s a Good Sign for the Economy

Irrelevant Investor: I’m on a Diet and Computers Have Replaced Humans

Mish: Mexico’s Southern Border Wall, Paid for by Obama

Naked Capitalism: Commercial RE is Collapsing and You Should Fucking Sell Before it’s Too Late

Prag Cap: Warren Buffett Sucks

Contra-Corner: Retirees Are Being Liquidated from Their Pods and Placed Back into the Matrix

Financial Sense: GIBBERISH

Wolf Street: Self-Driving Cars Will Clown Rape 4 Million People

Backchannel: Meet Mr. Rothenberg, the Fucking Moron

Howard Lindzon: Rothenberg Should Get the Electric Chair

Business Insider: Trump the Victor!

ReCode: Twitter is Still a Huge Overvalued Piece of Shit

Gateway Pundit: The Clinton’s Caught in Yet Another Lie

As seen in this video, the CEO of Apple is an excellent dancer and should be commended for his bravery to unleash this cringe-worthy display of gayness upon the world.

Cool.

All in all, it was a volatile session, with stocks ranging 150 points–ultimately closing down a bit–mostly saved by Apple’s surge. On the downside, however, crude was fucking crushed into 1 billion pieces, off by almost 3%.

All of you know that I hate rigged markets and would like nothing more than to preside over the complete destruction and annihilation of stocks, taking with it all of the morons spinning themselves into knots–trying to figure out this yarn. But, I do believe a trap is being laid bare, ahead of the Fed meeting. They will not hike and all of this worry about a hike is nonsensical rubbish. Upon learning the Fed will not hike, I expect the market to rejoice and subsequently decapitate all of the head of those short.

I am positioned correctly: long TLT, short FCX, long gold and miners, cash.

I don’t spend a lot of money at Facebook. As a matter of fact, I just started spending some money there, maybe a few hundred per month in light advertising. Just last week, I ‘boosted’ this post, riddled with curse words, such as ‘fuckheads’ and ‘fucking.’

See? It was approved and Facebook gladly took my $10.

But today, when attempting to ‘boost’ my post, regarding Ford’s decision to ship all small car manufacturing to Mexico, I was– seemingly –rejected, with cause.

Here’s what they said.

So what exactly is offensive about my article? Let’s review.

This is great news for Ford shareholders. American factory workers make anywhere from $20-$35 per hour. That’s a lot of money, equal to around $33k per annum. Shit, if I was back in the 1800’s, maybe I could live off $33k per annum.

By firing all of the factory workers in Detroit, Ford can hire workers at a slave wage, for less than $4 per hr in Mexico. In other words, Ford can hire a worker in Mexico for $26 per day, which would only get them 1 measly hour of work in America.

Fuck yeah. Good for the bottom line. The stock should run off this news.

Ford currently makes its Fiesta subcompact in Mexico, but its Focus and C-Max small cars are made in suburban Detroit. Making them in Mexico would boost company profits because of low wages there.

The company is building a new $1.6 billion assembly plant in San Luis Potosi, Mexico. It will make small cars there starting in 2018.

The CEO of Ford, Mark Fields, made a little more than $18m in 2015, or about $11,000 per hour–equal to about 550 full time workers in Detroit.

Surprisingly, Ford is lower by 2% for the session.

Any reader of mine knows this is a very nice article by me. Typically, I bring fire and brimstone, calling for electric chair executions, for the sort of shit Ford is pulling here. But, I was having a nice day and decided to have a little fun with our oligarch led economy. Even still, I was fucking REJECTED by the catamite motherfuckers at Facebook. I don’t particularly need to be accepted by them anyway. Nevertheless, this inconsistent, unprofessional, seemingly biased, rejection got under my skin. The post that I was approved for was just as profane as this one, and far less comedic.

I AM GREATLY OFFENDED and feel like spitting into the face of Mark Zuckerberg.

Looking at Facebook’s policies, they’re entitled to reject me for any reason at all. Perhaps they’re biased against me because I fucking hate them?

I can’t wait for when the Facebook juggernaut slows down and starts missing quarterly earnings amidst a flurry of backhanded commentary regarding the perverse and disgusting ineptitude of management.

I am sure if push came to shove, Colin would do his duty and vote for the establishment elite candidate,  H.R. Clinton. However, according to a new email that was released to the people, he has reservations.

He lamented over the specter of voting for her, saying she ‘has a long track record of unbridled ambition, greedy, not transformational, with a husband still dicking bimbos at home.’

Nice.

This is great news for Ford shareholders. American factory workers make anywhere from $20-$35 per hour. That’s a lot of money, equal to around $33k per annum. Shit, if I was back in the 1800’s, maybe I could live off $33k per annum.

By firing all of the factory workers in Detroit, Ford can hire workers at a slave wage, for less than $4 per hr in Mexico. In other words, Ford can hire a worker in Mexico for $26 per day, which would only get them 1 measly hour of work in America.

Fuck yeah. Good for the bottom line. The stock should run off this news.

Ford currently makes its Fiesta subcompact in Mexico, but its Focus and C-Max small cars are made in suburban Detroit. Making them in Mexico would boost company profits because of low wages there.

The company is building a new $1.6 billion assembly plant in San Luis Potosi, Mexico. It will make small cars there starting in 2018.

The CEO of Ford, Mark Fields, made a little more than $18m in 2015, or about $11,000 per hour–equal to about 550 full time workers in Detroit.

Surprisingly, Ford is lower by 2% for the session.

Ben Laidler, Global Strategist for HSBC, is talking extreme shit here, saying the SPY is gonna barrel lower with extreme vigor–targeting 1,960 for the SPY by year end. The crux of his argument is the market pricing in an absurd 14% earnings growth while the economy is growing at a rate less than 2%. In his research, this hasn’t happened since people went long volcano side vacation homes in ancient Pompeii.

He does, however, like defensive stocks and emerging markets.

I love how these crazy analysts always talk greasy about U.S. markets, while recommending EM. There has never been a time when our markets fell and the emerging markets didn’t follow in suit, times 3. Should we decline from here, you can depend upon Brazil and China get dropped down a sewer pipe in short order.

Nothing can stop market forces, in the end. The constant jawboning out of OPEC, the lies that speak to fictitious supply constraints, and a booming global economy that never seems to materialize, has resulted in a stymied pricing of the oil markets, ahead of a gigantic debt wall of bonds coming due in 2017.

In spite of ‘bullish’ EIA data out today, WTI is plunging, now lower by 2.4%, sending oil stocks straight down the drain.

Thus far, commodity markets are weak, whereas bonds and gold are strong. It doesn’t look like a very bullish risk on day.

Morgan Stanley downgraded FCX to an underweight today, finally coming to grips with the inexorable fact that copper is heading lower, thanks in large part to China being a giant powder keg readying to blow.

In their report, they note the horrific nature of their balance sheet and conclude copper prices simply aren’t high enough to justify buying the stock.

Truth be told, this analysis could’ve been made by a 10 yr old. Freeport is divesting assets at distressed prices in order to deleverage their balance sheet. Subsequently, they’re giving up any potential earnings upside, in the event of an upswing. In the immediate term, the price of copper has been going absolutely nowhere. As such, there’s little reason to own the shares.

Morgan cut their target to $7 from $9.

The brilliant fucking geniuses from Switzerland are suggesting, in the strongest of terms, to avoid buying any dips until late October or early November, for much lower prices are ahead.

The dislocation in the bond market was their catalyst to get super bearish and issue reports predicting dire straights.

Emphatically, they do not believe Friday was a one off event and that any bounce from short term oversold levels should be used to liquidate holdings.

“A breakout in bond yields and rising bond market volatility was our favored trigger for the [S&P 500] to move into our suggested medium-term September top as the starting point of a volatile correction process,” they write in a note published on Wednesday in which they call for an 8 to 10 percent correction in late October or early November.

“The Friday sell-off is in our view not a one-day event,” they add.

“The key message is that with other sentiment studies and/or flow themes we are still at levels that are far from any real buy levels,” they conclude. “So even if were to see another positive surprise on the upside, we would see this bounce as just a fake and/or still as part of a distributive top-building process.”

Bayer is paying $26b more than the original price, wholly and fully negotiating against themselves.

There are very few, if not any, corporations as bad as Bayer, from introducing heroin and cocaine into the household to heart medicine that was killing 1,000 patients per month to collaborating with the Nazis to produce poisonous gas to exterminate Jews to spreading HIV, amongst many other hideous offences. Now that Bayer and the good GMO folks at Monsanto have merged, I am almost certain the combined companies can figure out a way to eradicate life on the planet.

Bayer (BAYRY) and Monsanto announced that they signed a definitive merger agreement under which Bayer will acquire Monsanto for $128 per share in an all-cash transaction. Monsanto’s Board of Directors, Bayer’s Board of Management and Bayer’s Supervisory Board have unanimously approved the agreement.

Pro forma sales of the combined agricultural business amounted to EUR 23 bln in calendar year 2015. The combined company is expected to be well positioned to participate in the agricultural industry with significant long-term growth potential. Beyond the attractive long term value creation potential of the combination, Bayer expects the transaction to provide its shareholders with accretion to core EPS (earnings per share) in the first full year after closing and a double-digit percentage accretion in the third full year. Bayer has confirmed sales and cost synergies assumptions in due diligence and expects annual EBITDA contributions from total synergies of ~$1.5 billion after year three, plus additional synergies from integrated solutions in future years.

Bayer intends to finance the transaction with a combination of debt and equity. The equity component of ~$19 bln is expected to be raised through an issuance of mandatory convertible bonds and through a rights issue with subscription rights. Bridge financing for $57 bln is committed by BofA Merrill Lynch, Credit Suisse, Goldman Sachs, HSBC and JP Morgan.

Bayer targets an investment grade credit rating post-closing and is committed to the single “A” credit rating category over the long-term.

The acquisition is subject to customary closing conditions, including Monsanto shareholder approval of the merger agreement and receipt of required regulatory approvals. Closing is expected by the end of 2017. The companies will work diligently with regulators to ensure a successful closing. In addition, Bayer has committed to a $2 bln reverse antitrust break fee, reaffirming its confidence that it will obtain the necessary regulatory approvals.