Jefferies: This Pokemon Go Shit is Just Getting Started

Jefferies is out with a bullish note today, exclaiming the virtues of Pokemon Go and how it will transcend ordinary stupid app store chicanery and morph into a money making machine, on pace to gross $2b over the next year. Basically, no one really knows how Nintendo will monetize this insanely popular app, segueing into new games and monetization schemes. But they have a huge winners on their hands and the stock is likely to continue trading up. Prior to this recent run, markets had priced the Pokemon Go app at zero, something Jefferies believes is inherently and overtly stupid.

The downside risk is some idiot mowing down a parking lots filled with elderly people, in search for a squirtle.

The past nine trading days have been of the epic varietal. We get a lot of those these days, don’t we?

Volatility, measured by the VIX, just dropped by 50% over the past 10 trading days–representing the largest draw down ever.

MKM issued a research note today, discussing the event. In summary, markets are breaking out and volatility is likely to remain ‘subdued.’ However, they compared the recent malaise to the 90s and suggest we might endure a series of ‘high magnitude’ shocks to the system, especially since there are so many walls of worry to climb.

Like I said earlier, volatility is an interesting hedge at these levels.

Dr. Benjamin Bernanke flew in on his private jet, accompanied by three dozen retired secret service agents, working for the Citadel corporation, to discuss monetary policy with the BOJ chief, famously dubbed ‘Kamikaze’ Kuroda–here on iBankCoin.

Amongst other things, the good Doctor schooled Kuroda and his minion, Prime Minister Abe, about how to properly bitch slap short sellers and to create an overall swag at the Central Bank that cannot be fucked with.

“We are only halfway to the exit from deflation,” Abe said at the start of the meeting at his residence Tuesday. “We want to be steadfast in accelerating our breakaway from deflation.”

Officials in Japan described their perverted monetary plans and how they’d like to monetize their own construction bonds and then spend said money, recklessly, in a desperate gambit to get the robot-anime loving weirdos who populate Tokyo to procreate and spend some fucking yen.

Bernanke’s message was indelibly clear: get your fucking C. Bank swag on and make a lot of traps to fuck with short sellers. Let them know your pimp hand is strong, and they’ll never fuck with you again. He said all of these things whilst smoking a philly blunt stuffed with high-grade marijuana.

Come on, already. You Bernie Sanders miscreants make this too easy.

In an effort to show your dismay against Hill of Beans Clinton, you will devour said beans, like them, and then flatulate, en masse, at the DNC convention? Meanwhile, the Black Lives Matters folks are going to punch Trump supporters in their faces for being racist, obviously.

Advocates for poor people and progressive causes say they still plan to make a stink – literally – during Hillary Clinton’s big night accepting the Democratic presidential nomination this month.

The plan: feed beans to Democratic National Convention delegates for Bernie Sanders, and send them into the Philadelphia convention hall to show what they think of the former secretary of state.

Sanders-supporting organizers of the odious protest also are unswayed by the Vermont senator’s Tuesday endorsement of Clinton and will push ahead.

In fact, Cheri Honkala, national coordinator for the Poor People’s Economic Human Rights Campaign, expects more beans to pour into her group’s downtown Philadelphia office.

Boxes of dry beans and heavy containers of canned beans already have arrived by mail, Honkala says, in all varieties: navy, pinto, lima and baked, with return addresses in Texas, Wisconsin and across the Rust Belt.

“Those beans will probably quadruple” after Sanders’ endorsement, Honkala says.

Many Sanders supporters “are not happy” about the two major party candidates, she says. “They do not represent the American people. It’s like they’re reality-show characters, two villains who can’t be trusted.”

Organizers have not tested varieties to discern the smelliest option, but Honkala says baked beans likely will be preferred and paired with hot dogs at a feeding location in a “Clintonville” camp in northern Philadelphia.

A second feeding location is likely to be at the group’s office a few blocks from the convention venue for delegates, journalists and others heading into the speech.

You can tell a Bernie supporter by the crazed look in their eyes. Now tell me, am I lying?

Inverse Vix, XIV, is the best investment ever created–up 24% over the past two weeks. Having said that, volatility hit new lows today, as the market ripped to record highs.  This, of course, was a very predictable outcome.

Although not a fan of any of the volatility ETF products, now is a good time to hedge longs with VIX call options. We’re at a place in the VIX that has served as a bottoming congregating point for perverted VIX players. Some of their choice ETFs include UVXY, TVIX and of course VXX.

Three days ago, the day traders at the FDA put a hold on this drug, due to it killing a few people. Today, they removed it! How wonderful.

The co announced that the UFDA has removed the clinical hold on the Phase II clinical trial of JCAR015 (known as the “ROCKET” trial) in adult patients with relapsed or refractory B cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia (r/r ALL). Under the revised protocol, the ROCKET trial will continue enrollment using JCAR015 with cyclophosphamide pre-conditioning only.

As a result, the stock is fucking soaring through the rafters. Perhaps someone had a sit down with the FDA about their ‘uninformed decision’ to erroneously and maliciously placing a clinical hold on such a drug? For JUNO shareholders, it’s a very good thing the fuckers at the FDA came to their senses (extra Joe Pesci).

JUNO is higher by 30% in the after hours.

Bond King, Jeff Gundlach, from Doubleline is giving a presentation this afternoon.

Here are a few of his key points.

-Leading economic indicators aren’t good

-He’s laughing at people who suggest commodities are in a bull market.

-Set up for 10yr bond is the worst he’s seen in his life. He wouldn’t be surprised if 10yr hit 1.70%

-Believes market will be weak tomorrow ahead of 30yr

-Doesn’t like risk reward of bonds here. Believes TLT and XLU can trade lower.

-Thinks wheat has more upside than bonds here.

-Fast Money traders are long LQD.

Meaningless drek.

File this under ‘what can go wrong’?

“If it is an open state to carry, we will exercise our second amendment rights because there are other groups threatening to be there that are threatening to do harm to us,” Hashim Nzinga, chairman of the New Black Panther Party, told Reuters in an interview.

“If that state allows us to bear arms, the Panthers and the others who can legally bear arms will bear arms.”

Those devilish republicans. Maybe they will carry some guns too and they could reenact the civil war? (no racism)

I am very sorry to burden you with this drek. But it’s important that I inform the 0.0001% of you, who are still interested in these meaningless addendums to the boolish narrative, of this news.

Speculative high yield manure defaults surged to 5.1% in Q2, up from 4.4%, according to Moody’s–thanks in large part of overleveraged asshole energy companies.

These jackasses are missing debt payments, left and right, mainly because their core product, CRUDE, is crushed to pieces. Don’t tell Wall Street, however, as oil stocks are all the fucking rage these days, soaring by triple figures, applying figure four leg locks onto idiot short sellers–who clamor for blood.

Meanwhile, $50 billion in defaults have been surpassed, thus far, neatly surpassing last year’s hiccup of just $48.3. At this pace, markets will surge towards 20k and defaults will rise, in kind, to upwards of 90-fucking-billion by the end of 2016–according to some bitches at Fitch.

“Defaults are still on the rise,” Sharon Ou, senior credit officer at Moody’s, said in a phone interview. “The commodity-related sectors are still under distress.”

Fuck off, Sharon.

The worst has been priced in, apparently. Blue skies from here.

No criminal charges were filed against the good folks over at HSBC, after UK officials, led by G. Osborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer, sent a letter to Dr. Benjamin Bernanke, requesting that enforcement against the British bank be suspended, indefinitely.

In the letter, Osborn warned that such a charge of money laundering against HSBC would imperil the world and they’d have “very serious implications for financial and economic stability, particularly in Europe and Asia”.

A mouth piece for our Justice Department said they weighed a series of meaningless things, when deciding to let the criminals at HSBC walk away, scot-free, including, but not exclusive to, ‘adverse consequences for innocent third parties, such as employees, customers, investors, pension holders and the public’.

In a Congressional report released today, it accused former US attorney general, Eric Holder, of lying to congress about the DOJ decision to let these horrible criminals be let off the hook. Holder declined to press charges due to HSBC’s ‘systematic importance’ to financial markets. Indeud.

“Rather than lacking adequate evidence to prove HSBC’s criminal conduct, internal Treasury documents show that DOJ [Department of Justice] leadership declined to pursue [the] recommendation to prosecute HSBC because senior DOJ leaders were concerned that prosecuting the bank ‘could result in a global financial disaster’,” the report said.

The 2012 settlement with HSBC detailed how the bank violated US sanctions by conducting business for customers in Iran, Libya, Sudan, Burma and Cuba. HSBC accounts were also used by the Sinaloa drug cartel in Mexico and Norte del Valle cartel in Colombia to launder $881m.

HSBC was fined $1.92b for their sins and all of the execs were given blow jobs by interns at the DOJ.