Shares of Nintendo Explode Higher After Pokemon Go Game Was Featured in New Apple Watch Presentation

In their pitch to psychophant followers today, aside from showcasing material improvements in the water proofing of the iWatch, the Apple team unveiled (be-fucking-HOLD) Pokemon Go would be available to play on the device by the end of 2016.

On this news, the crowd went fucking nuts. Paper confetti rained down like a chorus of pure glory and joy and everyone celebrated by buying shares of NTDOY–which are higher by a braindead 24% for the session–or $6 billion in market cap.

What does this mean?

Frankly, it means nothing. For every iWatch that you don’t buy, it would’ve possessed the capability to capture digital monsters, whereby you could then parlay said monsters into heated and pitched battles to attain ‘gyms’–which would then be almost immediately conquered by fellow gamers–continuing a virtual loop of inane depravity unseen since the days of Babylon.

Note: Shareholders of Apple don’t give a shit about this infantile news. Shares of AAPL are lower for the session.

This guy is quite the bear.  Everyone is out in the pool, swimming naked and drunk and also fat and slothlike, and El-Erian is trying to tell people to stop. Back in 2007, the phrase ‘moral hazard’ was tossed around a lot, as investors plowed assets into CDOs and CLOs. The result of that foray into high yield mortgage was the very end of western finance as we knew it. This go around, the low rate environment is wrought with all sorts of malinvestment, none of which are being discussed, because, well…new highs.

Every once in a blue moon you hear a guy, with the bonafides and the credentials to support his claims, and it rings true and loud– like an air raid siren. And with the benefit of hindsight, you found it worthwhile. I suspect this is one of those clips.

According to Opensecrets.org, Goldman Ball Sachs employees are some of the top donors for the H. Clinton roadshow. Having established a firm bias in the race, the sages at Goldman decided it was a good idea to change their firm rules, bend and twist them, in order to prohibit donations to the Trump-Pence team. The idiotic result from their stupidity is horrendous media coverage and a further tarring of Clinton as Goldman’s anointed candidate.

“Effective Thursday, September 1, all partners across the firm are considered ‘restricted persons’ as defined by the firm’s Policy on Personal Political Activities in the US. As outlined below, restricted persons are prohibited from engaging in political activities and/or making campaign contributions to candidates running for state and local offices, as well as sitting state and local officials running for federal office,” the bank wrote to its employees.

The step aims to prevent “inadvertently violating pay-to-play rules, particularly the look-back provision, when partners transition into roles covered by these rules,” according to Goldman.

Goldman said the measure was “meant to minimize potential reputational damage caused by any false perception that the firm is attempting to circumvent pay-to-play rules, particularly given partners’ seniority and visibility.”

“Among the type of donations that are banned are any federal candidate who is a sitting state or local official (e.g., governor running for president or vice president, such as the Trump/Pence ticket, or mayor running for Congress), including their Political Action Committees (PACs),”

Since America fucking despises Goldman, this is being viewed as a very positive development for Trump.

This is the biggest nothing burger in the history of nothing burgers. But Brian Nowak woke up today wanting to be talked about, perhaps interviewed on the teevee, so he moved the goal post on his FB target to an absurd $160 from $150, in spite of the fact that he concedes that ad load growth is likely to slow.

Via The Fly on the Wall:

Morgan Stanley analyst Brian Nowak said he disagrees with worries that an ad load growth slowdown in the second half will lead to material revenue deceleration at Facebook, saying he expects user, engagement, and pricing growth to drive revenue and adjusted EPS in 2017 to top Street estimates by 6% and 10%, respectively. While Nowak concedes that ad load growth is likely to slow, he tells investors in a research note that Facebook’s large and growing scale and engagement are even more important and that ad pricing has room to grow. The analyst, who raised his price target on Facebook shares to $160 from $150, keeps an Overweight rating on the shares.

The fucking primadonna analysts on Wall Street, who stock the stables at the investment banks, are a zealotry sort who occupy a very low profession as a whole. They’re professional clowns who masquerade as pseudo intellectuals, carrying water for the team, whilst possessing a faux ethical code of conduct that is laughably dismissed at every cocktail party from NYC to San Francisco.

Good morning.

The always humorous and eccentric Fed’s Williams said in a speech this evening that the grim economic data were nothing more than transient cancer bubbles, floating in the ether–away from infecting the host. He approved of the current economic situation, pointing towards a “solid domestic economy with good momentum going forward.”

More than that, he doubled down on his bullishness, saying “I remain confident about the road we are on.”

With regard to the arduous topic of Federal Reserve interest rate hikes, Fed’s Williams broached the topic, flippantly suggesting that they start to ‘normalize’ “preferably sooner rather than later.”

Yes, indeud. As you were, chaps.

Update: In Q&A, Fed’s Williams, likely whilst drinking a glass of chardonnay, said he does not worry that a flat or inverted US yield curve signals a recession. Everything is fine.

Go ahead lads, keep buying stocks and not bonds. Whatever would make you want to stop? If it feels good, do it in the road.

The hypocrisy is strong with this one.

Earlier today, Washpo waterboy for the Clinton campaign penned a manifesto, declaring that the media, particularly Drudge, needed to stop discussing Hillary Clinton’s health. After all, ‘the issues’ were more important and discussing her health was ‘wacky’ and beneath the Trump campaign because it’s a conspiracy theory. The sort of theory that sometimes makes you scratch your head and wonder, what the fuck is going on here?

Hillary is now being shadowed by a man walking around with a diazepam pen–which is commonly used for people prone to seizures.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I will not pretend to be sanctimonious or cast aspersions on this Washpo blogger, who obviously has an agenda. But he did question McCain’s health in 2008. His fucking twitter timeline is proof of his wanton hypocrisy.

So fuck off, @TheFix.

Quite literally, this is bad news for shareholders of CMG. Take this inane 5.5% after hours bounce and run for the hills.

This is the 3rd high profile stake by Ackman over the past two years, the first two striking out miserably in HLF short and VRX long. My best guess, if Ackman strikes out with CMG, it’s lights out for Pershing Square.

The Issuer is a leading fast casual restaurant company that the Reporting Persons believe has a strong brand, differentiated offering, enormous growth opportunity, and visionary leadership. The Reporting Persons believe that the Issuer’s Common Stock is undervalued and is an attractive investment. The Reporting Persons intend to engage in discussions with the Issuer and Issuer’s management and board of directors, other stockholders of the Issuer and other interested parties that may relate to the governance and board composition, business, operations, cost structure, management, assets, capitalization, financial condition, strategic plans, and the future of the Issuer.”

Ackman’s 9.9% stake in CMG is causing idiots to chase it in the after hours, as if this man had a good track record with big investments.

Panic is in the air. The status quo is being threatened by a rabid animal who intends to cut taxes. In a Fox News interview, Marc Cuban cited two specific reasons why he’s 100% hedged in both stocks and bonds (nonsensical) in the event of a tyrannical Trump win.

Trump will lower taxes (the fucking horror).

Cuban feels lower taxes will cause businesses to delay investment until the lower rates take effect. I cannot think of a dumber fucking reason to sell stocks than fearing reprisals of a lower tax rate.

Uncertainty and the off chance that Trump will start WW3 with his gigantic mouth is enough to cause markets to stumble.

Any normal thinking person wouldn’t view these two topics as reasons to fear a Trump presidency. If anything, his shit talking of the Fed and calling the economy ‘false’, although accurate and true, aren’t exactly catalysts for investor confidence.

In short, Marc Cuban is one of the luckiest men in the world, being at the right place at the right time, selling his piece of shit internet company to Yahoo at the top of the dot com bubble. Since then, he’s made a mockery of himself at the Dallas Mavericks and has taken high profile arguments against investing in stocks for as long as I can remember.

Carl ‘fuck you, give me three seats on your board’ Icahn took to Fox Business today to discuss his bearish outlook on the US economy, which is something he’s been talking about for more than a year. Generally speaking, no one gives a shit what Icahn has to say anymore, unless of course he’s discussing Bill ‘Montauk’ Ackman. In the soap opera, burlesque, society that we live in today, all that’s important to most investors, traders and the like, is the most recent trade and/or rumor mongering. This infantile mentality is the #1 reason why 99% of advisors can’t beat passive indexes. While outperformance is often enjoyed during periods of melt ups, the deleterious side effects of this hubris is the reason why grown men are often seen cowering in corners of showers when markets go down.

Speaking of soap operas, Icahn calls Ackman out for discussing his business on television, despite it not being true: “He violated a bit of a rule there.”

Hmm, I wonder how this happened? With China’s currency at 6 year lows, blatantly manipulated lower, it should come as no surprise to anyone out there that the greedy fucking Chinese now dominate world exports more now than in any time in history, according to the IMF.

“All the talk we have heard over the last few years about China losing its global competitive advantage is nonsense,” said Shane Oliver, head of investment strategy at AMP Capital Investors in Sydney. “This will all further fuel increasing trade tensions as already evident in the U.K. with the Brexit vote and in the U.S. with the support for Trump’s populist protectionist platform.”

From steel to solar, the Chinese government is complicit in subsidizing Chinese firms in order to flood markets, drive out competition, and seize share. Like fucking baby imbecile morons, western nations have stayed idle, watching these things transpire–because…oligarchy.

The cost to produce goods is very cheap inside of China’s slave factories. US corporations enjoy the splendor these factories afford them and would prefer to keep the status quo, in spite of repetitive anti-trade, anti intellectual property rights exhibited by the Chinese for more than two decades strong. This, as you know, has accelerated, greatly, over the past decade.

The government is subsidizing higher technology industries including new advanced information technology, robotics, and new energy vehicles under its “Made in China 2025” plan. More is to come as President Xi Jinping’s blueprint envisions global competitiveness within a decade in 10 industries from machine tools and robots to advanced railway equipment and medical devices.

China increasingly is turning into an economic rival as it pushes to produce higher-value exports, said German Chancellor Angela Merkel on a trip to the nation in June. Those stern words from the leader of China’s fifth biggest trade partner pale in comparison with the rhetoric from Trump, who has accused China of raping the U.S. in “the greatest theft in the history of the world.”

“Political support for open trade and investment is evaporating globally and no one has more to lose than China,” said David Loevinger, a former China specialist at the U.S. Treasury who is now an analyst at fund manager TCW Group Inc. in Los Angeles. “China has become the bogey man for opponents of globalization.”

Sometimes the purported ‘boogeyman’ is an actual boogeyman.