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Daily Archives: October 11, 2016

Samsung Galaxy Note Disaster Might Cost Company $17 Billion

This fucking idiot of a phone is a terrorist. It has nearly burned down an airplane. It has burned down several cars.  And this motherfucker has burned down homes.

Samsung should be bankrupted over this — or forced to keep 1,000 of these phones in the homes of their top executives for a period of 5 years. That would be a fair punishment, no?

After recalling 2.5m of incendiary, Dr. Claw-like blow up devices, the company has ordered mobile carriers to just give up and to stop selling them — else ISIS might find them to be convenient weapons of mass destruction.

“In the worst case scenario, the U.S. could conclude the product is fundamentally flawed and ban sales of the device,” said Song Myung-sub, an analyst at HI Investment Securities.

The company expected to sell 19 million of these little gremlins — which equates to $17b in lost sales. That’s a lot of kimchi.

Some S. Korean newspaper, called Hankyoreh, said the fucking thing was going to scrapped altogether.

“This has probably killed the Note 7 brand name,” said Edward Snyder, the managing director of Charter Equity Research.

“By the time they fix the problem they have to go through recertification and requalification and by the time that happens, they’re going up against the (Galaxy) S8 launch.”

Not to worry, however. There are still plenty of stupid Americans that are willing to buy their washing machines and refrigerators. Their market cap is upwards of $230b — with $69b in cash. Shares of Samsung are barely down tonight, off by 2.2% for the session — but higher by 20% for the year.

No one gives a shit about phones that explode in your pocket. They’ll buy the next device with vigor…because they hate Apple.

Epic fucking failure.

 

 

 

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Trump on Paul Ryan: ‘I Don’t Want His Support. I Don’t Need His Support. I Want to Win for the People’

The people’s champion, Donald J. Trump eviscerated establishment republicans today in an interview with Bill O’Reilly. In it, he called them ‘weak and ineffective’ — specifically targeting House Speaker Paul Ryan and Senator McCain.

Truly, this is an amazing development to bear witness to a republican candidate for President openly revolt against the party.

‘Paul Ryan, open borders, very bad budgets. The only person Obama negotiates well with is Paul Ryan, with the budgets.’

This places all establishment candidates in a very weird spot. Even if they hate Trump, they can’t openly campaign against him — because if Clinton gets elected and her policies end up fucking the country, their political careers will be over. This gives Trump open reign to talk as much shit as humanly possible, from now until the elections — in an attempt to gin up a populist movement against establishment politicians heading into election day.

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MSNBC Scrubs Criticism of New Rigged NBC/WSJ Poll in Replay Version of ‘Morning Joe’

At 6am, Joe Scarborough criticized the manner in which the new NBC/WSJ was conducted — which was pre-debate. When the show replayed at 8am, that criticism vanished. Poof.

Source: Legal Insurrection

In regards to the actual pre-debate poll itself, as Zerohedge points out, it’s entirely flawed. The sampling of the poll included much more democrats than republicans, so of course it’s going to be skewed in favor of dems — not to mention the poll was conducted by a Clinton operative — who has made campaign contributions to one of Clinton’s super PACs.

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In the post debate poll, the same polling organization gave Clinton a 9 point lead. Again, if you asked more Yankee fans if they preferred the Yanks over the Mets, the results will almost always skew in the Yankees direction.

Here is the breakdown of the polling sample.

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In summary, the democratic operatives at Hart Research Associates conducted this NBC/WSJ poll sampling 44% democrats, 37% republicans and 12% independents — which resulted in Clinton pulling way ahead by 7 points compared to the previous poll. Do you see how one might construe this polling data to be corrupted?

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Fat Fucker, Glenn Beck, Considered Voting for Hillary, Fears Trump to be the Devil

God has beaten this man with the ugly stick. What’s with his stupid haircut and asinine outfit? And why is this interview taking place in the middle of fucking nowhere, like it’s an old western movie?

Beck, who is one of the leaders of the Never Trump campaign, believes Trump is the devil. As such, he’d never vote for him, not in a thousand fucking years. If Osama Bin Laden was running against Trump, Beck would still have a very difficult time deciding on who to support.

All in all, Beck seems somewhat accepting of a Clinton Presidency — chalking it up to America falling into the hands of oligarchs.

 

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Stockman: U.S. Recession is Imminent, Massive Stock Market Crash Ahead

Amongst other things the chatty David Stockman discussed on CNBC today was the failed Fed policies, U.S. elections and how Republicans would move to impeach Hillary almost immediately after getting elected, the looming recession thanks in large part of the business cycle, massive stock market crash, and the media bias against Trump.

All in all, a very entertaining listen.

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New Lows For China’s Yuan Spurs Silvercrest’s Chief Strategist to Go on Epic Twitter Rant

If you weren’t on Twitter, it didn’t happen. Hate on Jack and his hilariously stupid beard all you want, but for finance and political junkies, Twitter is the single best discovery since the electromagnetic phenomenon.

Earlier today, Patrick Chovanec, Managing Director and Chief Strategist at Silvercrest Asset Management, in addition to being a part time adjunct professor at Columbia University, specializing in International and Public Affairs, took to Twitter to rant like an uncontrollable animal about the depreciation in the Chinese Yuan.

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A little more than midway into his frantic explosion, Linette Lopez from Business Insider chimed in to debate the subject, which made his rant all the more enjoyable.

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This was seriously some great stuff. Thanks Patrick — and sorry for calling you an uncontrollable animal.

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Related: China Life got lit up today, in an unusually large down day for China’s insurance giant. I’ve discussed the issue of China’s bubbling NPL issue and how the government seems unable to reign in reckless lending. Eventually, this all comes to a head.
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Keep a close eye on Asian trading this evening. It might get interesting.

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The Absurd Yellen Fed Continues to Roil Markets

How many times do we need to endure this? If you take a step back from the bullshit that is today, however, you’d note that the shenanigans at the Fed have resulted in markets ripping to all-time highs. In order to accomplish the steady and persistent squeezing of shorts, they’ve been good at creating monsters — in this specific case they themselves are the monsters.

If they permitted markets to run, unabated, it might overheat and then collapse once people figured out it was all bullshit. By checking advances, through menacing markets with nonsensical rate hikes, they’re controlling markets to the downside. This is what you get when you accept a rigged market. It’s rigged both ways — both up and down.

Some might say it’s conspiratorial to believe the Fed is walking down stocks. But if history is of any use, how do you explain the year long parade of Fed heads telling markets hikes are just around the bend — when inflation and growth targets aren’t even close to stated goals?

They’re betting on being able to arrest any decline that approaches 10%. As market plebs, we’re merely piss in the wind — as Yellen and her band of zealots blow.

Expectations for a December hikes are through the roof — in spite of the fact that none of the soon to be worse than expected retails sales have been revealed. This is just poor betting.

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Fed rate hike fears are causing disruptions in Forex markets. Enjoy.

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Bank stocks are getting bludgeoned — led lower by China Life — which is screaming ‘FX dislocation’. Keep a close eye on Asian trade tonight. Asian markets might get lit up — if China’s largest insurance company plunging by nearly 5% can be trusted as a forward looking indicator.

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Top picks: TLT, gold, short FCX.

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Kerry Warns Russia U.S. Retaliation ‘At a Time of Our Choice’ for Interfering in Our Sacred Elections

Yesterday, at the virtuous cycle conference, Sec Kerry warned Russia to quit meddling in our very fair and very honest elections. Apparently, our government has concluded that Russia is behind the hacking of John Podesta’s email box — which revealed that Hillary Clinton hates ‘everyday Americans’, amongst other things.

Bear in mind, the Obama administration hasn’t been able to prove a single thing. Their attempts to blame very embarrassing revelations regarding the corrupt nature of the Democratic Party on Putin is specifically designed to hurt Trump, who’ve they’ve painted as a Russophile.

Here are Kerry’s very tough and brace words for Russia.

“We released this information to put the people doing it on a notice that they’re not, quote, ‘getting away with it’ for free, as well as to put states on notice that we’re serious when we say they need to take every measure possible to guarantee the integrity of our elections,” Kerry said Monday at The Internet Association’s Virtuous Cycle Conference. “And we will and can respond in ways that we choose to at the time of our choice.”

The Kremlin calls it utter horseshit.

“This is some sort of nonsense,” Putin press secretary Dmitry Peskov said in response to the accusation, per the Washington Post. “Every day, Putin’s site gets attacked by tens of thousands of hackers. Many of these attacks can be traced to U.S. territory. It’s not as though we accuse the White House or Langley of doing it each time it happens.”

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Wikileaks Reveals Hillary ‘Hates Everyday Americans’

Quick, someone go grab John Harwood by the pussy so that he could explain this.

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And this was before the campaign even started. Could you imagine how much she hates all of you dirty and disgusting tax payers now?

This comes to mind.

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