Sometimes the smartest people are the dumbest shits on the face of the earth. They have social anxiety issues that make them idiots, unable to think like normal human beings. These fucking scientists, mind you, want to reintroduce cougars into the wildlife populations of 19 states in order to reduce deer, and by extension, automobile accidents.
I am not shitting you.
Personally, I like the part when one of these book worms said cougars sometimes kill people too, but the benefits far outweighed the occasional eating of a 5 year old wandering off into the woods. People need to embrace them, in spite of their menacing ways.
Imagine yourself enjoying a summer BBQ with the family. Your in laws are playing a game of croquet, generally enjoying their afternoon. Then, all of a sudden, a fucking cougar attacks grandpa, since he’s the weak one in the pack. Your in laws race over to help him, but the cougar pounces on them too and bites off the nose of your mother in law, all the while grandpa is on the floor, stroking the fuck out from the panic. Your father in law is trying to put his handkerchief on his wife’s noseless face, in order to stop the flow of blood. But it’s coming in good and hard and the blood completely soaks his seasonally appropriate seersucker suit.
Worst BBQ ever.
If you enjoy the content at iBankCoin, please follow us on TwitterThe answer to the first question is the white-tailed deer. Deer do not set out to murder people, as far as anyone knows, but they do jump out in front of vehicles so often that they cause more than a million collisions a year, resulting in more than 200 deaths.
The answer to the second question, according to a new scientific study, is the cougar.
Laura R. Prugh, a wildlife scientist at the University of Washington; Sophie L. Gilbert, a wildlife ecologist at the University of Idaho; and several colleagues argue in the journal Conservation Letters that if eastern cougars returned to their historic range, they could prevent 155 human deaths and 21,400 human injuries, and save $2.3 billion, over the course of 30 years.
And although cougars do kill humans sometimes, the scientists estimated that number would be less than one per year, for a total of less than 30 lives lost, far less than the number of lives saved.
The scientists studied 19 states, including South Carolina, Maine, Wisconsin, Ohio and Missouri. Four other states — Delaware, Rhode Island, Maryland and Illinois — were part of the eastern cougar’s historic range, which was wiped out by the early 1900s. However, those states do not have enough open forestland to support viable cougar populations, the scientists said.
Adrian Treves, head of the Carnivore Coexistence Lab at the University of Wisconsin, Madison, who was not involved with the study, said he was impressed with the analysis, and thought it might underestimate the benefits of cougars. He said in an email that there would probably be an even greater reduction in deer-vehicle collisions, “if governments and private citizens allow cougars to recover to historic levels.”
“The idea of being killed in a car crash with a deer just doesn’t scare people the way the idea of a cougar leaping on your back in the woods does,” Dr. Prugh said.
But she hopes that if cougars do return to the Eastern states, an understanding that they could bring tangible benefits will make people “a little more accepting, even if they are still scared.”
Great, now I have watch out for Cougars as well as everything else? Will someone make America safe again?
I tell you, those cougars at the club have gotten VERY aggressive. That’s what I get for working out.
“eastern cougars returned to their historic range, they could prevent 155 human deaths and 21,400 human injuries, and save $2.3 billion, over the course of 30 years….And although cougars do kill humans sometimes, the scientists estimated that number would be less than one per year, for a total of less than 30 lives lost, far less than the number of lives saved.”
30 < 155
Here’s a crazy idea…….instead of introducing fucking wild predators to handle the deer; why don’t we just loosen up the fucktarded hunting regulations and let hunters do the job? Turns out, deer are delicious, and most humans have no taste for eating other humans, thus, no collateral damage……..problem solved. Luberals (intentionally mispelled. Liberals are notorious for supporting homo anal….thus the monicker “Luberals”) are seriously fucking retarded. It’s science.
There was one here a couple years ago. Several people saw it and one person caught it stalking him.
Then it showed up under the wrong tree stand during archery season….
They’re cats. They are reflex killers. Ever see a house cat play with a mouse it has caught?
This is the same thing on a larger scale.
I have grandkids who live in a play in the woods here. (Yes I am over the IBC age limit) I am also old enough to give no fucks at all when it comes to the care and safety of those I love.
Disney and wildlife desk jockeys be damned. If I encounter one while out in the wild it will be dead on sight.
None of my littlest will be that statistic.
Do you care if your little ones are injured in a much-more-likely-scenario deer-car collision?
I’m guessing that there are lot more human deaths caused by other hunters than by cougars. Should we also ban hunting?
We kill deer by the thousands here. They are locally known as “speed beef”. Tasty.
Car/deer injuries are most often the fault of drivers reacting without thinking and losing control of their vehicle.
Never swerve for deer. Slow down. Never swerve or try to avoid collision.
Hunting accidents are always, that’s ALWAYS, caused by careless HUMAN behavior.
That is far different than a 150# cat dining on one of my kids.
Your arguments are specious at best.
I really hope they repopulate BTN’s area with mountain lions and they eat him. This way we can get rid of those idiotic comments that suggest have predators roaming about the woods is better than deer stepping in front of a car.
I’ll take my chances with the deer. Fuck no with the cats who like to eat big things in my yard.
+10
Fatal cougar attacks are extremely rare and occur much less frequently than, fatal snake bites, fatal lightning strikes, or fatal bee stings.[
Says the nerd thats never actually seen a predator in the wild. Predators give 0 fucks about your Disney paradigm. If you ever choose to leave the safety of your beanbag chair, give a predator a hug for me.
Not all bad. Grandpa may like the “cougar” if its the proper version (not feline). Not to mention when they become over populated, we can start charging for hunting safari’s in our backyards!
Best to set the cougar loose on the executive floor of Wall Street banks.
I’ve been hunting deer for over 20 years. I kill them and I grill them. Tasty, and the most ethical way of harvesting your meat. I know some of you might hate guns and hunting. You prefer to have some slob in a beef packing plant do the killing for you. Fine. To each his/her own. My point is that issuing more public hunting licenses is the answer to a burgeoning deer population. That’s how we handle it out here in the Western states. Deer populations flourish when there are no predators around. You can be part of the solution. That missing predator is—you. Now, regarding cougars, in 2012 I shot a 161 lb tomcat. At the time it was the state record book as #2 largest cougar taken by a hunter. If I had not happened to turn and look behind me, I would not have seen it sneaking up on me. I shot it at 35 yards. I can tell you that there is no way any human being hiking out in the woods can fight off a cougar if the cougar is determined to attack and kill. They are too strong, agile and quick. Think of a house cat hunting a bird or a mouse and multiply that cat times 30x. Those wildlife biologists are insane.
Btw, cougar, or mountain lion is some of the tastiest meat you will ever eat. Smoked mountain lion hams are much better tasting and have a sweeter flavor than smoked ham. I shit you not. Once you get past the strange idea of it, you realize that you are eating a much cleaner and leaner animal, a cat, than a dirty fat pig.
Sounds good to me.We have rare cougar sightings here in the Blue Ridge Mountains, but deer are quite literally the most dangerous pest we have, with no natural predators besides hunters. I like to deer hunt but those little bastards are everywhere. They live in town like rats. We’ve hit three with our cars–I wanted to eat the last one but my daughter was with me and freaked out. I figure I ought to at least get some meat for the cost of my repair bills. One slid over my windshield and could easily have gone in–and yes, if you see them you can slow down and avoid a collision, but sometimes they are speeding out of the brush and it’s unavoidable.
I saw four deer running into the road four different places yesterday, and that was broad daylight–at night they are worse, especially right at dusk. They are easily the most dangerous critter up here, so I’m fine with bringing in cougars. We have enough problems with coyotes, but they’re just a threat to chickens and small livestock and house cats. Bring on the cougars, I say.
If I saw you hunting a mountain lion, I would find a way to kill you.
Raul—How do you unfuck a stupid declaration that ? Careful or I just might build a staircase to throw you down.
At least they didn’t suggest hunting the Bambi’s
The conservation department here has begged for more more hunters.
I am 100% on-board with more big cats in the United Steaks
In my high school days I dated a cougar for a while, and she was great.
You people are insane. Next thing you know, we need lions to eat the Cougars and voila we’re back in the fucking Stone Age.
Fuck deer, cats, Cougars and assholes.
This reminds me of when scientists wanted to blow up the moon in order to get rid of the seasons. This is like blowing up earth to get rid of mosquitos. Straight up stupid.
I prefer wolves. More people killed in deer/auto collisions than by shark attacks. Kill those big rats with soulful eyes.
what will they introduce to reduce the fucking human over-population ?
Das ist das eigentliche Problem.
Maybe we could clone some T-Rex gene and bring those guys back into population to take out deer. The stat would be even more awesome …zero humans killed in at least 50 years.