New York isn’t feeling the Bern, apparently.
The Hilderbeast has mudstomped Bernie into a fucking hot dog stand and he’s been left there ever since, eating sauerkraut sandwiches, talking to himself about ‘fucking banks’ this and ‘fucking billionaires’ that.
With 59% of the vote in, Hillary is up 59% to 40%, in a regular knee-slapping beat down, primordial in nature, arcane in practice.
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With 25% of precincts reporting, iBankCoin can comfortably predict that Ohio’s Governor John ‘Mr. Rogers’ Kasich has won second place in the New York primary, humiliating Ted ‘LYIN’ Cruz in what can only be described as a George Washington-esque landslide.
Before Kasich gives his much awaited for victory speech, it is rumored that LYIN Ted Cruz is holed up in his hotel room, crying like an illegal Cuban immigrant stuck in a capsized migration boat en route to Florida.
Long live J. Kasich. God bless President Kasich.
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Apex technology and PAG Asia capital led a consortium to acquire the legendary Lexington, KY hardware company, in a deal valued at $3.6 billion. Shareholders will enjoy a 15% or so premium tomorrow, as the deal was agreed upon at $40.50 in an all cash deal.
“This is an exciting transaction that Lexmark’s board of directors believes is in the best interests of our shareholders,” Lexmark Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Paul Rooke said in the statement. “The transaction will benefit our customers and provide new opportunities for our employees.”
Aside from the mundane printer, Lexmark specializes in a wide swath of security applications for the U.S. govt and justice system, including court case management, health benefits exchange software, public assistance, application automation, professional licensing boards, public safety, law enforcement as well as the DMV.
Big win for the dog eaters in Beijing.
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After Doha, crude was buttressed by the Kuwaiti oil strike, which removed 1.7 million barrels of daily crude production off the markets. It was a very conveniently timed strike. Well, all of that ended this evening, as the people with money decided it was time to permit the people without money to get back to work. Production will be in ‘full retard’ mode immediately.
Production in northern Kuwait returned to normal and Kuwait Petroleum Corp. restarted units in the country’s southeast, helping boost overall output, the oil industry’s spokesman, Sheikh Talal Al-Khaled Al-Sabah, said in a post on Instagram earlier. Output was 1.1 million barrels a day on Sunday, when the 13,000-member union started the stoppage.
Before the walkout, Kuwait was pumping 2.81 million barrels a day last month, making it the fourth-largest producer in the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries. The initial decline of 1.7 million barrels a day from March levels surpassed the surplus in global supply.
WTI is off by 1.7% in the overnight session.
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The $5 billion fund, down almost 10% for the year, is granting the plebians a very generous request. After year’s of keeping the fund’s door closed to outside money (12/10/13), the pretentious assholes at Sequoia are reopening their completely idiotically managed fund to new investors.
“We’ve had a number of requests from investors who would like to get into the fund at these levels, so we are considering recommending to the board that Sequoia reopen in the proximate future,” manager David Poppe wrote in a letter to shareholders posted on the fund’s website today.
Like morons, they placed like fucking 40% of the fund in VRX, becoming its largest and biggest bagholder. It’s astounding to me to see this fund still open, let alone in a position to accept new money. Their multi-million share VRX position is down 80% since they last declared the position.
Along these lines, VRX is no longer a large position of theirs, since they almost completely wiped out on it. They’re down to the tune of $1.6 billion on it. Now, their big plays are TJX, ORLY and FAST.
Who’s ready to sign up?
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In any business, the bottom dross should be culled each spring, in order to water the tree of growth with the blood of the weak. Back in doldrum days of 2002, the brokerage firm by which I was employed would fire 5 lads each Friday.
The process was methodical, almost clinical in its mechanical precision. Until one day they tried to fire one of my crazy friends. The tell if you were going to be fired was they’d ask you to ‘bring your book’ with you into the meeting. Back then, nothing was digital. All transactions and client information was stored inside of a black binder.
They asked John to bring his book to the meeting and he fucking took his shit and ran full speed–the fuck out of there. One of the fat managers chased him down the hall, screaming ‘John, John, come back here, John.’
He was never to be seen again. Last I heard, John tried to run over his girlfriend with an automobile. When the cops arrived at the scene, they asked him ‘what happened here? Was it an accident’? Allegedly and legendarily, he replied ‘no, I tried to run the bitch over.’
Twelve thousand Intel bitches are being run over tonight, as the company announced its intention to cull 11% of its workforce–the most since 2009.
The financial engineering continues. Growth is non-existent, so companies are resorting to share buyback and the confiscation of everyone’s black books to meet and exceed earnings.
Intel is down 2% in the after hours after posting milquetoast earnings.
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Don’t look now, but commodities are shooting higher across the board again. The CRB index is higher by 2% today and the raw commodity index inside of Exodus is at 6 mo highs.
We’ve been seeing a hellacious rally in everything D. Gartman used to like since the Feb bottom. The buy of a lifetime was there to be had. Unfortunately, hindsight is 20/20.
The year to date leaders includes coal +38%, silver +22%, gold +18%, lithium +17%, uranium +13% and soybeans up 11%. Not to mention, there has been one heck of a run underway in oil, steel and even wheat, which is higher by 5% over the past week.
Do I believe in this commodity super cycle? Fuck no. It will drown and then die in a watery grave. Nonetheless, this is what the people want. Commodity related stocks are higher by 3.5% today, as the apes in top hats run around throwing shit at one another, pretending to be gentlemen, hedging against an inflation monster that does not exist.
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You god damned animals are going to be punished, soon and swiftly. The rally that you chased this morning slowed down and revealed itself to be a fucking four headed monster. Now it’s chasing you. And when it catches you, it is going to root out your guts and turn you inside out.
On the upside, is the clown-heavy silver and gold cabals, both enjoying stupendous gains. Just look at the shares of EXK, AG and FSM and marvel at the splendor of a decadent silver class. On the downside, inexorably, is IBM and the entire biotech and homebuilder sectors. Semis are to the downside as well, with large losses in RMBS, CAVM and moderate sized losses in other stupid stocks like MU and AVGO.
I won’t make a big fuss out of this very minor reduction is wealth from the investor cadre. Nonetheless, just know that I am actively rooting against them, with every fibre of my existence, dating back generations of Celtic tribesmen, running about the green fields in search for potatoes and ale.
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The decadence and the immorality running parallel one another like this is indicative that another seal from the gates of hell has been removed. I suspect baby naming agencies are run by demons or wraths, in order to humor themselves with the stupidity of man.
Pray tell me, how can a parent expect to achieve anything with their child is they can’t even name him?
Professional services have popped up in the U.S. and Europe to aid parents with naming their children for a fee. Last year, Marc Hauser, who runs the Switzerland-based naming agency Erfolgswelle, went from solely serving brands to also branding children. His firm charges over $29,000 for every baby it names, devoting two to three weeks and around 100 hours of work to the process. Though Hauser thinks that approaches rating baby names strictly by data (and not emotion) are “overrated,” his firm does check to ensure that a baby name has not already been trademarked. “Even when it’s a little close to an existing brand name, it will not survive,” he said. Historians also vet the name to ensure it goes not have “an aggravating past.” Hauser admits that his own first name, Marc, would never make the cut at his firm because it’s connected to the name of an ancient Roman god of war.
Absolutely ridiculous. A hard reset is coming.
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No one gives a shit. The world just wants to be long of crude oil, in any terms possible, even bitcoins.
Post Doha, Russia’s oil minister is talking greasy.
Freed from a plan to coordinate output with OPEC members, Russian officials said Tuesday that the country may boost both production and exports. Output could grow by 100,000 barrels a day to 10.81 million a day in 2016, according to Deputy Energy Minister Kirill Molodtsov.
“And why not?” he said at the National Oil and Gas Forum in Moscow. “It’s possible.
Crude is up 4 or 5% now. I don’t keep track anymore. I’m too busy eating dumplings.
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