THERE IS MORE MILK IN THE FARMER TO BE HAD

Another day goes by without rain and farmers are fucked inside of tax incentivized, broken down, barns.

While the local farmer laments in the hot, scalding heat, about the clouds, “The Fly” is sitting comfortably in his air conditioned office, profiting from the farmers misery–long egregious amounts of MOS. In addition, and I bring this news to you rather immediately, I just started a new position in RNF. I can see the charts and it clearly has a cock and balls formation to the upside. I like it because it broke its triple axis, double inverted, sweet banana pie, lemon top melon formation.

I am a seller just north of $36.

Ladies and Gents,

The summer is here and it is hot. I’ve all but sustained myself on fruit, water and almonds for the better part of 1 week, requiring just 2-3 hours of sleep per night. I like to call them “naps.” I am terrible sorry to inconvenience all of you with my plights, yet I do so nonetheless.

Into this short squeeze, I like the taste of cow, chickens, corn and soy. In other words, I like the stuff that makes crops grow, as well as the infrastructure that allows the stupid farmer to better manage his water supply. Make no mistake about it, farmers are some of the stupidest and devious characters around. They are schemers and hoarders, sucking off the government tit in a felonious fashion.

I INTEND TO EVEN THE PLAYING FIELD AND MAKE THEM PAY THEIR FAIR SHARE.

Jeremy (iBC Admin): “As you know, Mr. Le Fly is quite indisposed at the moment, militarizing his new house (or, more accurately, his new “war-time compound”). In his stead, I’ve been tasked with putting iBankCoin Radio back on the air. LET’S GO.”

Don LaFontaine: “Your fifteen minutes of music without commercial interruption starts N-N-N-NOW!”

Jeremy: [Ice Cube’s “It was a Good Day” instrumental plays in background] “Some real street bangers, there. But enough about my songs; what are you guys listening to? iBankCoin Radio is taking requests all afternoon, so SHOUT US A HOLLA in the comments section of what you want to hear.”

This was released by the USDA on 6/29/12. Pardon the tardiness of this report. However, considering the persistence of the “dust bowl” like drought plaguing farmers, I think it is extremely important to remember how leveraged and fucked these farmers are with their “bumper” sized corn crops.

U.S. Farmers Plant the Largest Corn Crop Since 1937

Washington, June 29, 2012 – U.S. farmers planted 96.4 million acres of corn, up 5 percent from last year, making it the highest corn acreage in the last 75 years, according to theAcreage report released today by the U.S. Department of Agriculture’s National Agricultural Statistics Service (NASS). This marks the fourth year in a row of increases in corn acreage in the United States.

Favorable field conditions across much of the major corn-producing region helped corn growers get off to a fast start in 2012. By May 20, the planting was nearly complete, representing the quickest planting pace on record. Virtually all of the acreage had emerged by June 3.

U.S. soybean growers also reported a significant acreage increase this year. According to the report, 76.1 million acres have been planted to soybeans, up 1 percent from 2011. This is the third-largest soybean acreage on record.

Just as with corn, the weather allowed soybean growers to get off to a quick start this year. By June 3, ninety-four percent of this year’s crop was planted, 30 percentage points ahead of last year’s pace. Nearly 80 percent of the crop had also emerged by that time, 40 points ahead of the 2011 pace.

A significant acreage increase was also reported for wheat. The report showed that growers planted 56 million acres for all wheat, including spring, Durum and winter, a 3 percent increase from 2011. More acres were seeded to winter wheat this year due to expectations of better net returns compared with last year.

Unlike the other major crops, cotton growers reported a decrease in acreage this year. According to the report, there are 12.6 million acres planted to cotton, down 14 percent from 2011. Farmers planted 12.4 million acres of Upland cotton, down 14 percent from last year, and 235,000 acres of American Pima variety, 24 percent down from 2011.
NASS also released the quarterly Grain Stocks report today, showing corn stocks down 14 percent from June 2011, soybean stocks up 8 percent and all wheat stocks down 14 percent. With a total disappearance of 2.87 billion bushels between March and May of this year, this is the highest disappearance on record for corn during this quarter. The soybean disappearance of 707 million bushels is also the second largest disappearance on record.

I am an aggressive buyer of ALJ down here, more than 20% off its highs. It is the last refiner standing that hasn’t run the fuck higher, amidst outrageously high crack spreads. Fact: airlines and refiners cannot run at the same time, just like TLT and SPY can’t continue to play nice.

Having said that, TLT is easing off the highs and the market is honey badgering its way through the grease.

I like my chances with ALJ, considering the fact that the refinery sector is under serious accumulation by hedge funds and mutual funds alike.

All of my other positions are fairing nicely; but I am effectively flat on the day thanks to my large cash position. I intend to take it down from 40% to 20% over the next few business days (as if there was any other form of day).

TLT is north of $130 and stocks are barely down. This, of course, is fucking horseshit and something will give soon. You cannot have a massive flight to quality and higher stock prices. The world as we know it doesn’t work like that.

On one hand, I don’t want to miss out on all of the gay (no homo) fun. But on the other, big red lights are flashing in my head, screaming DO NOT BUY, as TLT punctures new highs.

The only sector that might do well, even in a calamitous decline, is gold/silver. According to the textbook, they should be getting their brains blown out, right about now. Deflation is not exactly a good thing for inflationary hedges. However, investors these days seem to take a different approach to precious metals. They’re being used as de-facto currencies and the miners are levered bets.

I still like EXK here.

In summary, this is fucking hedonism, you pigs. You cannot have your cake and eat it too.

To be perfectly blunt with all of you, I was not enthused, nor enmoured, by the specter of moving my headquarters. It was a perfectly good spot, surrounded by murderers and thieves, hidden amongst the asinine absurdity that is Staten Island. My new locale is in the region of Princeton, NJ. My neighbors are not to be trusted and I am sure they’ve never been arrested for a felony crime.

After 3 years of intense searching, this seems to be the only place in the entire northeast region of the United Steaks that suits me.

The move went according to plan. I hired 7 movers and two 32 foot trucks to haul my shit. All of that, AND MORE, cost me under $3,500, including tip. That’s what I call money well spent.

Now that I’m here, I find myself obsessing over the smallest details, such as lack of a proper hose in the garage and lack of any hose spout or water supply in the backyard. WHO THE FUCK HAS A YARD WITHOUT A FUCKING HOSE IN THE BACKYARD? Plus, I have to paint the entire interior of the house over,install crown molding, paneling, have an electrician inspect, repair and install new systems, renovate 3 bathrooms, install new floors in all 6 bedrooms–just to name a few things that will be driving me nuts over the next 6 months.

Plus, for the fucking life of me, I cannot get this lawn irrigation system to work. And, there aren’t enough sprinklers in the ground.

My life was perfectly fine before this shit. I told Mrs. Fly “I don’t need this shit. I’m busy bowling on fuckers and generally winning all day long. Moving me from this shit hole is equal to tearing down Yankee Stadium. I’m the Babe Ruth of this bitch; don’t fuck with me.”

She just sort of scowled at me, declined my suggestion, then walked out.

I write to you all from my laptop, using my mobile hotspot, as this fuckhead of a house doesn’t have phone, cable or anything yet. Fuck, I’m practically living like a gentleman from the 18th century. I might as well pull out the old calash, attach some black steeds to it, and ride into the night, top hat and cane in hand.

With regards to the market: I’m gonna have to get back to you on that one later.

Here are the top 10 short squeezes ranked by technical score inside The PPT.

Major accolades go out to my friend “The Devil” and his managing partner “Chuck Bennett” for their meticulous call in VHC, long from $15. I pointed this story out to you about a month ago and it is now the most popular stock inside of The PPT. I am glad to see so many doing well and look forward to your thanks and praise in the not so distant future.

My silver stock, EXK, is down; but I own other things too. The problem with the vast majority of you is more about your brains, less about monetary standing. You can diversify into different industries; but you are financial abortionists, only interested in vagrancy and belligerent/obnoxious gambits. Take your dice elsewhere, Sir, for they are not welcomed in these quarters.

With the market shooting ahead, I am up a mere 0.5%, partly due to my 40% cash position. I am inclined to stay in a cash heavy position, not due to an aversion to risk, because I am moving my manour to the state of New Jersey. Once settled in, I will conduct operations on a magnanimous scale to outstrip my foes and skin their heads from their skulls. After that is officiated, I am going to crush their bones into dust and sprinkle it on my lawn to fertilize the earth.

In summary, today’s victory belongs to “The Devil” and the venerable “Chuck Bennett” for their mastery in positioning into VHC, through stock and calls. As a result of their persistence, a great many of you have attached to their backs, like small fish to sharks, receiving free chum along the way.

Activity Board inside PPT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imbwn6iVryQ

If you are baffled by this rally it is because you do not own any bank stocks. If you do not own any bank stocks, you are a normal person. Mr. Dimon, from JPM, won again, completely fucking any and all shorts who bet against him into earnings. Do not lament over your positions lagging behind, for the market itself is in great health and condition. It will only be a matter of time before your stupid stocks increase in value.

I am up today; but my gains are measured. It doesn’t really matter, frankly. Either way, I expected my holdings to be little changed whether the market was +180 or -180. What’s important to note and remember is the overall trend.

Good Sir, we are decidedly higher and have melted the faces off of our enemies and now design to use them as wax for our banquet room candles.

They are being manned by dwarfs, cutting off the dicks of those who bet against Ben.

Based upon the laws of mathematics, you’ve been chequemated, yet again.

With grace and on behalf of professional money managers everywhere, I accept today’s gains and will donate a portion received to the ORBITAL SPACE CANNON PROJECT (OSCP), to be used for offensive purposes only.

If you think your day is going bad, short stocks like some sort of lemon head, take solace in knowing your local farmer is on the cusp of absolute ruin, losing his ENTIRE corn crop, starving America in the process. Why, without high fructose corn syrup, this nation will descend into violent revolt!

To be clear, you’ve been dispatched; but the day is young. Ben is gonna empty his ashtray on your head.