Deportment Must Be Maintained

Today’s market was very ungentlemanly. If I was long in any large degree, I’d be vexed to the point of murderous rage, after today’s tomfoolery. For the day, I managed to make 0.1%, in other words flat. My picks are entirely unimportant. What’s worth noting is the manner in which my wine bottles are stored, all polished and maintained at a specific temperature, away from the denizens of iniquity.

If you are reading iBankCoin and ponder its meaning: look no further than this blog. I do not need your money, only your attention. Since the age of 10, I’ve been playing in the stock market, figuring out how this game works. From time to time, I will go cold and lose money on a few errant ideas gone haywire. But at the end of the day, I fucking win, all the time, even when I appear to be losing.

We do offer premium services at iBC; but it not the culture of the site to only cater to those who are willing to hand over small sums of change to us. This is a passion of mine that will conclude at a time of my choosing, without notice or warning. One day you will wake up and I will be gone.

That is the way of the world, so do not worry about the longevity of these halls.

One hundred years from now, these halls will be polished and maintained by gentlemen of the first tier, as it is today.

As for the market, nothing matters until financial matters are dealt with at “The Hole.”

Good day.

Ahead of “The Hole,” “The Fly” is sidelined, bulked up in steroided fashion with 35% cash and HDGE. Literally, if the Fed were to surprise and hike rates by 10%, I could not be hurt. On the stars of the milky way, I cannot be damaged, as currently situated.

As you sit out there, holed up in homeless man tents, eating beans from a tin can, Le Fly is living a luxuriant lifestyle, accustomed to the finest things made available to the “non-working class.” As you know by now, it is my god given right to do so, blessings sent down from above so that I might explore unchecked hedonism.

How is all of this possible, you query?

Space rocket trading, fucked face.

I’ve been banking coin, continuously, for more than a decade. When I was a small lad, plebbing it up in the brokerage firm boardroom, I always tried to fix my attention on research. I’d laugh at the arch salesmen blow their books up in furious manners, all the while I plodded along–sticking knives into the top of their skulls as I passed them by.

One decade later, they are still cold calling and I am being cold called. See how that works?

Into the hole, I remain defiantly neutral, resilient in all things except the hardiness of my opinions that have helped me outstrip you for so long.

Look at TLT rip tits to the upside, alongside stocks, as if this shit was some sort of fantasy land made from angel dust. In this life there are three sure things: 1. death. 2. taxes. 3. VXX to zero.

My three largest positions are doing just fine, NFLX, VHC and MCK. However, there are things in life I don’t do, such as buying stocks at highs, ahead of JACKSON HOLE.

If Ben wanted to demonstrate his pimp hand, he’d implement the biggest form of QE, right now, ahead of the elections, at the highs. Oil woild lift to $200 inside 6 months and stocks would trade up by 30%, which is the average return of stocks during QE1 and 2. Another round of QE here would all but guarantee an Obama 2nd term, as well as another 6 months of stock market ecstasy.

Bold.

Top picks: MCK, cash, HEDGE

We haven’t had a down month since May, when we got poleaxed for 6%. Month to date, the S&P is up almost 3%, pushing new highs, despite a slowing global economy. The stage is NOT set for a big down September, contrary to what many of you bearshitters believe. We’ve had two really bad Septembers over the past 10 years, one in 2008, the other in 2002. Both times the markets were already in sell mode. However, right now, we’re hitting new highs, elated with our good President and Federal Reserve champion.

Decadence has never been gaudier. Immediately, send your pets to boarding school and enjoy a hedonistic and perverse lifestyle with your loved one and tell everyone else to fuck off.

I am looking for a small drop in September, nothing too extreme. I thought August would offer bowling balls to the scrotums of bulls, but their chastity belts proved too sturdy.

Into the bell on Friday, I started a big position in MCK. If the market doesn’t sell off this week, I will sell my HDGE hedge and reallocate the monies long. Plainly, there is nothing to fear but Ben himself. If the Fed disappoints at “The Hole”, there is a strong chance of lower equity prices in September. If he delivers, we’re going straight up for the next six months. That is not opinion, small chap, but fact.

Go do some research.

The market was on edge this week, ahead of the ever important JACKSON HOLE. Will the Fed go for another round of QE3 and help 0bama get reelected? Or, will the Fed acknowledge the fact that they have little control over the employment problems in this country and allow the politicians to sort it out for themselves? It’s all too convenient for the cocksuckers in congress to point fingers at Ben and blame him for everything. It might be time for Mr. Princeton to show everyone who’s boss by not doing anything.

Congress talks shit about Ben; but they are eternally grateful to him, in private, for keeping this economy going, albeit by artificial means. The moment the Fed steps away from the economy, all eyes will be on the political apparatus. My guess, people will not like what they see.

I added to my NFLX position. I’m not sure why, actually. It is my largest position and I don’t have a lot of conviction in the name. I will keep it on a very tight leash. In addition, I bought some MCK. My senses suggest drugs and healthcare will be the preferred sectors to own–heading into the elections and the months of September and October. I am in MCK for the $100 roll.

Lastly, I have a big ole stupid sized position in HDGE. As you can see, it is hardly down today, despite the market being +100. It is an actively managed short ETF, with zero leverage. Their largest shorts are C and DB, both excessively rich in valuation–in my humble opinion. It is a hedge, designed to offer protection against spiraling lower equity prices. If it doesn’t pan out in a week or so, I will sell it and move on.

The rest of my assets are in cash, constituting about 35% of assets.

I added to my NFLX position and started a new one in MCK.

Let’s go over the internals, shall we?

As of right now (1:29pm), just 61% of stocks are higher, with noticeable weakness in materials, particularly anything related to global growth. Copper, chemicals, steel, aluminum, ag, auto parts, casinos are all lower. Tech is holding on by a thread. There is not widespread strength today, despite what the cocksuckers at CNBC say.

On the plus side we have retail, banks, REITS and drugs. I am warming to the drug sector, thanks to its defensive nature and historical outperformance during the month of September. WPI, ESRX, ABC and MCK look great.

Within tech, I am warming to NTAP and PLCM, both traditional “value plays”–just like MRVL. As a matter of fact, all three companies have about 30% of their respective market caps in cash. There are strong underpinnings in all three, fully supported and buttressed by cold hard cash.

I don’t expect the market to reverse lower today. However, it should be noted, today’s rally is not exactly awe inspiring. Therefore, from my vantage point, NOTHING has changed and I will remain EXCEEDINGLY cautious ahead of Jackson Hole (extra homo).

So Romney wants to get rid of the Clam. With one stroke of the pen, the Clam can get rid of Romney. Should QE3 be enacted, stocks will explode to the upside. Mountains will be moved and the GOP will be left holding a bag of dicks. Obama and his idiot sidekick Biden will get to enjoy another term and by the time they’re finished– the United Steaks of America will have $20 trillion in debt.

Romney is running a stupid campaign, not much different than Ace pilot, John McCain.

Thus far, I am enjoying my day, immensely. I get to sit back and watch all of you bank coin, whilst wallowing in shallow waters with a mountain of cash strapped to my back. Owning NFLX is like being in possession of aids. It’s gonna kill me one day; I just don’t know when it will happen. My other large position is VHC, which is holding up for now. And, newly minted HDGE is down a smidge, a blessing from the Gods, on this victorious day for the bulls.

As always, MRVL is lower. It is such a value.

I don’t want to miss too much upside. Therefore, I will jump back into stocks next week, should this rally continue. Until then, it’s sandwich time for Le Fly, patiently waiting for stocks to reverse and plunge lower into the depths of hell, AND MORE.

Poof! Your bullshit prophecies are gone.

-Merlin

We’ve climbed a long way from the April lows. The Dow is above 13,000 and investors are feeling good about themselves, with marked exception to those still trapped inside YELP. Nevertheless, it is your duty, as gentlemen of society, to take profits and spend money freely. It is your constitutional right.

Although I regret selling CTRP, seeing it go ‘full retard’ to the upside without helmet. I made 15% for my troubles. One cannot lament over missed gains.

Here we are just a few months until the elections. On one ticket we have Karl Marx, who is interested in throwing the upper middle class into government fire hydrants–head first. On the other, we have “medicine” also known as austerity. It may bode well for the general economy in the long run; but in the short term, medicine tastes like shit.

To my cocaine gorillas in the jungle, boxing skeletons into dust, I bid you farewell. “The Fly” will be back when things cool down. For now, I am fleeing this resort before the fires of the jungle fossilize its inhabitants.

Fuck this horseshit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsM0jxGyUbE