I’M A BELIEVER!

Out of respect for my love of money, I cordially invite you to cease and desist talking about politics. Anyone who declines my invitation will be BANNED and sent to the lowest depths of hell.

Going into today’s trade, I was a very nervous man, not because of my coal position into the election, but because of VHC.

It is my largest position and I’ve been trying to scale out, unsuccessfully, before their trial with AAPL concluded. The Devil and Chuck Bennett chastised me for wanting to sell–but it wasn’t my deal. Therefore, I lacked the psychopathic conviction they possessed to see it through without fear. The end result is nothing less than staggering.

The beat AAPL and was awarded $368 million from AAPL.

Why is this important?

Because they have a trial date pending with CSCO in March and have just levied another suit against AAPL for everything under the sun–this time for ‘willful infringement’–TRIPLE DAMAGES. After the AAPL win, CSCO is likely to settle. After all, the AAPL win was not the first victory for VHC. They defeated MSFT months ago and won $200 million.

This is the real deal.

But the awards are not the reason to own the stock, but the royalties going forward. They are talking about 1% of all iPhone, iPod, iPad sales going forward. And this doesn’t end with AAPL, it’s just the beginning. Samsung is next and anyone who infringes on their patents.

In short, regardless of what VHC does today, I am a buyer. I now believe, finally and emphatically, that VHC will be a monster winner going forward. I won’t put a price target on the stock, because that’s just silly. But it’s worth a whole of a lot more than $30, $40, $50 even $60 per share.

NOTE: Here is the ‘Willful Infringement’ lawsuit document, filed last night.

Ok, Wisconsin and Pennsylvania went to Obama and 0hio is strongly leaning for Obama. Let’s call a spade a spade here (no coincidental racism), Obama cut Romney’s dick off. It’s over, Johnny. Over.

Now all of you amendment lovers need to shut the fuck up and accept the fact that America has changed, forever.  Gone are the days when America was distinguished. We’re a welfare state, a perfect dichotomy of haves and have nots. Communism, gentlemen, will embrace your purse (EXTRA! red scare).

How do I feel about “Four More Peas?”

I feel just fine. Life is still good, perhaps not so much for the coal man inside of me. But I will prosper no matter what, even if Pee Wee Herman was elected this evening.

Put it behind you and embrace the cocaine rally to come, courtesy of The Bearded Clam. Under Obama, we will continue to spend like whore and the market will likely surge, setting up for a spectacular collapse.

The republican party is more than dead, but zombified. They couldn’t even beat an illegal alien/demon in the midst of financial comedic calamity.

Four more peas.

In honour of the Obama win, I present you with the future of his home city, CHIEF KEEF. Enjoy.

Let’s be frank, shall we? All of my updates are meaningless because the only state in the whole fucking country that matters is 0hio. Why?

Answer: they are very confused. They’re all brutishly poor, but at the same time are rednecks. It’s a very odd subject to discuss and I’d rather leave it to the numbers.

Rednecks hate Obama and there are plenty of them in NC. Based upon “The Fly’s” fields tests, talking to his uber rich clients from Raleigh, he is comfortable calling NC for Romney, despite what the homos on the teevee say.

UPDATE: Romney just opened up a can of whoop-ass on Obama.

Romney is picking up steam in FL, with none of the hillbillies in the panhandle reporting.

He just took Illinois, NJ, DC, MA, MD, CT and RI–fucking Romney up in the background.

With just 1% of the vote in and 50%-50% split between Obama and Romney, “The Fly” is calling WVA for Romney.

Here is the round up, thus far.

Romney: KY, WV, SC, IN

Obama: VT

In the battleground states, Mitt is leading in VA, OH, while Obama is smashing Romney’s face in FL and NH. In summary, Romney is up 33-3.

UPDATE: 49-3, Romney.

Enough about stocks already. Some of us got fucked today and some of us did the fucking. Now it’s time for everyone to get fucked (absolutely NO homo).

I will be providing you with sagely predictions, as well as ‘on the scene’ coverage tonight, as Willard “Mitt” Romney seizes the crown, in what will widely be described as ‘criminal in nature and explicitly reprehensible’, from the donut hole makers at MSNBC.

Get your FOX news cowboy hats ready, my good friends from the Appalachia! We’re gonna have us a good ol’ fashioned BBQ tonight, served extra greasy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9SmhC-Sm6Q

NOTE: Keep track of elections results here.

NOTE II: This song was performed LIVE at an Obama campaign rally yesterday, with the President of the United Steaks present. The song commonly refers to women as “bitches.” Obviously, the President is okay with this rhetoric. The artist JAY Z, admitted drug dealer and criminal extraordinaire, pleasantly replaced the word “bitch”, again meant for all people of the female gender, with “Mitt.”

How kind of him.

Will you be required, by government mandate, to eat more peas and pay your fair share? Or, will King Romney usher in a new era of unbridled, cock-eyed, capitalism, where you are able to kick your neighbors down empty elevator shafts in order to get commission payments on his burial?

These questions and more will be answered tonight.

Separate from that, I ended up reducing my VHC position, between yesterday and today, by 25%. It is still rather large, and going lower, as the jury deliberates the case. The weakness in the stock is reflective of the stakes and people with overexposure, like myself, have sold into a potential risk scenario. Nevertheless, the case should be a W for VHC and the shares should rebound, rather dramatically, on a positive outcome.

I doubled up on ANR and down on EXK, adding to both positions with the appetite of a lion trapped inside of a cage filled with environmentalists. Thanks to the buoyancy of TC, FFIV, ANR and DECK, I am up by 1.5% today–not a bad day for me with all things considered.

Tonight’s election will be decided by the pasty, fat fuckers, from 0Hio. Of course I find it to be unnatural and disgusting.

ESRX and FOSL are getting poleaxed. I wanted to point out those stocks because last quarter their earnings were spectacular. As a matter of fact, I believe FOSL was up like $15 on earnings. This market is shit. Even if we run higher on QE, the earnings are for shit. Not only that, the volatility is so absurd, it’s almost impossible to trust holding stocks for more than 3 months.

How can investors buy and hold with this sort of punitive pinless hand grenade action (No Zillow or BSFT)?

You cannot. Therefore, keep trading, trusting nothing and take profits whenever you can. If a stock you sold soars, don’t even think about it. For every 1 missed opportunity, there will be 10 avoided tragedies.

Fuck this market, fuck the elections and fuck 0hio.