$RAX and $EA are Getting Hammered After Earnings Shortfalls

Rackspace misses by $0.01, reports revs in-line (57.81 -0.58)
Reports Q1 (Mar) earnings of $0.17 per share, $0.01 worse than the Capital IQ Consensus Estimate of $0.18; revenues rose 30.9% year/year to $301 mln vs the $300.04 mln consensus. The adjusted EBITDA margin for the quarter was 33.4% compared to 36.1% in the previous quarter and 33.0% for the first quarter of 2011. Total server count increased to 82,438 up from 79,805 servers at the end of the previous quarter, and total customers increased to 180,866, up from 172,510 at the end of the previous quarter.

I would have bargained for more, if the decision was up to me. Nevertheless, I will take what I can get. And my take for the day was almost 1% to the upside, thanks to heavy exposure to old school mega caps, like KMB, GIS and PEP.

During the afternoon, even my WNR reversed and charged higher. I was partially chagrined by the semis, especially my position in NXPI. After all, they smashed numbers and life is good for the friendly folks at NXPI, always invited to the finest and most elegant affairs hosted by KKR.

After the bell, crickets could be heard around the office, as the sentiment shifted from “wow, we just dodged a fucking errant cannon ball” to “I want more tomorrow.”

Well, be patient dear friends, for we all shall have more tomorrow, except for the bears of course. We will suckle and take company with great whores and suckle some more. Fistfuls of cocaine tossed carelessly into rapidly spinning fans (the metal kind). The markets will massage our temples and violently skin the shorts for their barbarism.

Things will get better: just wait and see.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tOzesduLyrI

I like to think of myself as a fan of the stock market. Aside from managing money, I enjoy reading, listening and watching people talk about strategies, stocks and macro ideas. Over the years, the Yahoo message boards has been a place where imperious street cleaners pumped and dumped their shares on unsuspecting garbage lovers. Phrases like “TIMBERRRRR” are very popular there and all of the cretins on those boards seem to enjoy a particularly low brand of humour.

In the modern era, I consider StockTwits and Twitter to be the dominate message boards for the markets, places where investors get together and talk shit about stocks. To StockTwits credit, they curate their feed, eliminating scammers and bottom feeders from defiling their stream.

But the over-arching theme every where I look, every where I listen and read, is pessimism. The Hugh Hendrys, Great Roubinis, Meredith Whitneys are very popular indeed. And it’s not because they are very smart, which they all are. To that point, people like to hear them speak because they are bearshitters. There is a reason why Zerohedge is so popular, aside from his incredible work ethic and pristine content. Tyler is loved because he wants the world to end– and he wants that shit to happen immediately.

iBankCoin is the last bastion, the safe-haven of safe-havens, where the speech is free and the bulls roam with their balls swinging in the wind. Aside from the occasional Bleier/Caine assault on good hard working oil and gas personnel, iBC remains defiant in the face of overwhelming bearshitterness.

I just pulled up the StockTwits app and purveyed the “Trending” stocks stream and guess what I saw?

Answer: You fuckers are talking shit again. How can the markets crash when everyone is expecting it?

This new generation of investors have been tainted by the collapse of 2008. These young players really, really suck dick– because they all want to call the next crash. Everyone wants notoriety, calling out companies and combing over books, as if these C student gym rats were PWC audit partners.

Please. Relax, it’s only an Al Qaeda bomb. Clearly, you are in over your head. Stop embarrassing yourself, for the sake of your future children who will learn about your indigent legacy.

Starting out I dealt with the crashes of 1997, 1998, 2000-2002 and I still managed to get 200% long into the 2003 rally. You’re never going to make BIG money betting against stocks. That is a fact. There will be pockets of weakness, in between rip your face off rallies. To believe that “this time is different” is always a suckers bet. By betting against progress and prosperity, via clamoring for stock market disaster, that’s exactly what you are doing.

I will bet against that bubble every single time.

France was down 2% when I went to sleep last night and S&P futures were dramatically lower, -180. The bearshitters were elated on Twitter last night, rejoicing in the bad news, lathering themselves with the pain of others, declaring victory. I fucking warned them all, last night, that I was going to kill them all. I told them “PREPARE TO BE SHOT FROM CARNIVAL CANNONS” should the market trade up today. Lo and behold, France is up and futures are down 30.

By no means am I boasting. From my vantage point, Senor Tropicana has a lot of work to do, none of which requires chest pounding or early celebrations.

IT’S NOT A GAME ANYMORE.

I said it yesterday and I will say it now: the European move AWAY from austerity is good. The fucking Tea Parties of the world can fuck themselves. Trying to be austere when the economy is collapsing is fucking juvenile. The arch-fiends in Germany need to stop worrying about inflation and understand deflation is the real risk. Once the Europeans embrace their printing presses, world markets will fucking soar.

Spain is up 1.3% and I’m going to slap someone in the face with a hot slice of pizza today. The world is as it should be.

Top picks: KMB, YELP, PEP

THIS IS WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO, IF YOU HAVEN’T DONE SO ALREADY: Sign up to iBankCoin or start a blog here. Contribute! Also, you can link up your twitter handle and we will list you on sidebar. Very soon the GAMIFICATION of iBankCoin will begin and you will want to be a part of it.