Laughing At Myself

This market is driving me fucking crazy. So you know, I have millions of dollars in cash, ready to be deployed. I am over here thinking of different strategies, which include long/short pairs. Essentially, there are some specific names that are way over valued and several NON-LEVERED ETF’s worth a looksy, like [[SEF]] and [[RWM]] . However, when scouring for short ideas, I am reminded of the the HORRIFIC— and seldom discussed losses— I incurred, back in the old dot com days.

Prior to the bubble bursting, I suspected some names, like Extreme Networks, Inc [[EXTR]], were fucking retarded and needed a good lashing. I remember shorting that bastard every day for a month. It went up in my face, nonetheless. It not only went up, it fucking “space rocketed” into outer space, leaving me dumbfounded amidst large capital losses. The good news: the short position was merely a starter position, less than 5% of assets. So, in the big scheme of things, it had little effect on my assets overall. However, the percentage loss was ABSURD. I don’t remember exactly how bad it was, since I hypnotized myself to forget such wretched experiences. But, if my notes are correct, the stock did something like $50 to $200 in a month. ROFL @ the idiot shorting that! I covered near the top of the range, just before the stock collapsed and settled into a permanent burlap lined coffin.

This market has a similar feel to early 2000, when everyone thought the market should go down, but it just kept charging higher—until it stopped. When it stopped, as you well know, no prisoners were taken. We all received the ominous “black flag.”

In summary, I’ve managed to avoid fucking myself by choosing [[TLT]] over going short. That’s a plus. Despite missing out on big gains, I have no regrets. We all have our investment style that is unique to how we think. Sometimes it takes time for a thesis to pan out, other times it happens immediately. As good as the market feels now, remember the pain you felt when your local bank was forced to suck the tit of President Bush, via bailout. By no means are we out of the water, just yet. As a matter of fact, we are building the world’s largest and most successful ponzi scheme, similar to tupperware sales ladies, only MUCH bigger and far more sinister. Also, please remember, you are trading a bullshit 5 figure account at Zeeco.

Trade accordingly.

UPDATE: I sold out of Visa Inc. [[V]] , north of $90.80

Poof! Your bullshit low volume rally is over.

-Merlin

I bought Citigroup Inc. [[C]] back in the old days of 2009, when the stock was on the verge of a “burlap coffin.” Clients wanted it, due to its illustrious name and “idiotic share price.” Through all of the ups and downs, I’ve held the stock, mainly because it is my hail Mary play. Most people who are bullish on the name think it’s worth more than $5, minimum. All I know, the biggest turds in the history of the United States have gone up 10 fold, like Ford Motor Company [[F]] , yet Citigroup Inc. [[C]] is stuck on the side of the road begging for bacon sandwiches.

All of these things, AND MORE, lead back to the road of Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , believe it or not. Most of you ponder “why the fuck is he still in FTK, why, why ,why?” Well, I am in denial, folks. It’s just one of those things that I cannot accept, sort of like a gay son or cheating wife. I bought Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] at the bottom of the market in 2009, based upon my belief that commodity prices were OVERSOLD and credit conditions were due for a sharp recovery. All of those things happened, yet FTK is still sucking dick.

It’s funny to see volatility drown here, via [[VXX]] . As you know, I’ve been tempted to go long for more than two weeks, but have done nothing. During the 2+ weeks of my cash/treasury position, the best trade that I made was doing nothing. Rationale behind such madness: Well, I easily could have taken down a few short positions, as the market rolled past me. But, this time around, I didn’t let my ego fuck me sideways, via making wrong-headed trades. At the end of the day, my holdings have increased by another 3.5% over the last 2 weeks. Granted, that’s not so great, considering the market is handing out free 10% winners daily. But I am still kicking old guys down sinkholes, via outperforming all indices (+13.5%)—so far.

Nevertheless, I remain steadfast in my belief that we are considerably OVERBOUGHT here. Right now, I will stick with my defensive allocation of 55% cash, 15% treasuries, 30% equities.

Courtesy of The PPT, today’s OVERBOUGHT/OVERSOLD list:

OVERBOUGHT (HYBRID):

count: 103
IRDM
UXG
CPIX
STWD
IVR
FOLD
FRPT
RSOL
ANTP
BSRR
WSH
WIN
VNO
UNM
UEPS
TSM
TSCM
TRP
TRAK
THG
TGX
STXS
SONC
SMI
SHFL
SATS
RWT
RGS
RGR
RGC
RCRC
PZN
PCS
PACR
OSIP
OPLK
OFI
NSR
NSIT
NLY
NLS
MTH
MSB
MRCY
MOV
MHLD
MFE
MERC
MCCC
LFC
LEG
LEAP
LCC
LAB
KG
KFY
JEF
IPSU
INTC
INCY
IMAX
IHS
IDCC
HSY
HMN
GSL
GROW
GAIA
FSC
FMD
FISV
FGXI
FALC
EVR
EMC
ELY
DRRX
DPZ
DPS
DFG
DEI
DCO
CTCT
CRUS
CRI
CPHD
CNQR
CMC
CHRD
CEDC
CDI
BRCM
BEE
BCE
AXS
ARRS
AGYS
ACIW
ACAT
ABR
ABG
AB
AAI

OVERBOUGHT (TECH):
count: 97
IRDM
UXG
DRN
IVR
RSOL
RST
ANTP
BSRR
MJN
NTDOY
VBR
WSH
WIN
VVI
VGR
UNM
TSCM
TRP
TLK
THG
TGX
TEO
SVU
SUP
STXS
STV
STMP
SNV
SNHY
SMI
SIGI
SID
RGS
RGC
PRGS
POOL
PLUG
PACR
OFI
NZ
NUAN
NLS
NDAQ
MTH
MSB
MERC
MCCC
LSTR
LEAP
LCC
LAB
KFY
KEX
ISCA
INCY
IBNK
HSY
HMN
GWR
GSL
GMT
GES
GBNK
GAIA
FSC
FORR
FISV
EXBD
EMC
EDR
EBAY
DRC
DPS
DOX
DHX
DHI
DCO
DAC
CRUS
CPHD
CNQR
CMC
CHRD
CDI
BMI
BK
BEE
BCSI
BCE
AXS
ALSK
ALKS
AGYS
ADP
ACN
ACAT
ABR

OVERSOLD (HYBRID):

count: 2
THLD
PTNR

OVERSOLD (TECH):
count: 4
NIB
SGG
IAU
GLD

Why give you fuckers insight? Hell, this market is easy. All you have to do is wake up and buy Research In Motion Limited (USA) [[RIMM]] and Apple Inc. [[AAPL]] , then collect a daily fortune. An “s-cok” for all, with a side order of several 8 balls, 20 cups of coffee and a personal urinal assistant, who actually multi-tasks as a white shoe financial adviser. The next thing you know, all of you ham and eggers will be flying in your own spaceships.

I have 3 stocks that are buried in losses: U.S. Global Investors, Inc. [[GROW]] , SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] and Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] . If I exercised the slightest of risk management, I would have sold out of these stocks a long time ago. However, because of my big gains, coupled with said names conveniently pigeon holing into a nice asset allocation model, I held. During the life of these positions, I bought and sold Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] , Chipotle Mexican Grill, Inc. [[CMG]] , Cummins Inc. [[CMI]] , United States Steel Corporation [[X]] , and a plethora of big winners—much to my chagrin.

For the love of broken baseballs, I’m not even trying to make a point. There is no lesson to be learned, from every God damned mistake. You fucking dicks. Investing is not so much a science, more of an art—so watch me paint.

At this stage in the rally, we are so OVERBOUGHT it’s funny. I don’t even need to comment any longer. I will not buy, no matter what. As a matter of fact, if the market lifts off 5,000 points from here, over the next 12 months, I will miss out on the entirety of the rally. I think it’s hilarious, in a very serious way, that some of you are all excited and shit, above 10,500, but were shitting in caves at 9,000.

Bottom line: I still have skin in the game and much of my current roster is filled with losers. If I could somehow escape them, with minimal losses or even a profit, I will be as happy as a pig in CNBC. But as far as new money is concerned, I have no interest in this market.

Reminder: Sign up for Scott’s newsletter (free trial), else I will track you down like the dogs that you are and kick you.

I left a brimming cup of coffee on my windowsill and it got cold, after just 5 minutes. You know, George Bush and his diabolical weather weapons are getting annoying. Case in point: how much snow did we get this winter?

Answer: Exactly.

To make matters worse, now, he’s globetrotting the world, fucking up fault lines and shit, causing earthquakes. You know another thing Bush did?

Answer: He created the stock market rally, off the March of 2009 lows—despite the fact that Obama was President. Bush still did it. As a matter of fact, today is the 1 year anniversary of the market bottom, which makes today Bush’s birthday, in a very stupid sense, if you know what I mean. No, scratch that. Today is Bush’s anniversary for saving the world from total financial collapse.

However, the one thing that has me stumped, if Bush saved us from financial collapse, why the fuck is he precipitating all of those earthquakes and melting the fucking ice caps? I mean, isn’t that a bit of a “dual mandate”? Maybe he has personality issues, not so much different than Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde.

As for the market:

This low volatility, steady grind higher, will end VERY SOON, leaving most of you goat fuckers in a pickle jar. Once again, boring ol’ Fly wants to be long [[TLT]] , into the pending correction, since Bernanke wants your money—and he wants it now.

By now, most of you know Scott as the gentleman on iBC’s homepage (or his blog), where he simulcasts his morning radio show. Well, in case you didn’t know, Scott has been running a successful newsletter for many years, on his site CreateCapital.com.  Now, with the help of the Godly folks from iBankCoin, he is launching a new service here, which will include added features, such as instructional videos, frequent posts and pie throwing contests (I kid).

The main reason why I convinced Scott to join the iBC team is because he is a professional. I do not use that term loosely. In this business of asset management, many claim to be professionals; but in reality, most are nothing more than 2-bit salesmen. I remember Scott from the old CNBC days, when he would nail one tech stock after another. And, more recently, I  remember Scott from the Fox Bulls and Bears show (where he was a co-host), when he accurately called the credit crisis and a plethora of short ideas. Basically, Scott knows how to navigate the market, whether it be from the long or short side.

Here are some of his most recent picks.

Go sign up for a 1 week free trial (no credit card info necessary, so you better fucking do it) and see if it makes sense for you.

Good Day.

VKING must go fuck himself now.

—————————————

Basically, the market teetered between gains and losses all day, effectively boring people to death, AND MORE. I’ve been on some non-eating program, whereby I don’t eat. I don’t know why, as a matter of fact. I just don’t feel like shoveling sandwiches in my face anymore. I think my investment philosophy directly coincides with my proclivity to eat fucked up foods. When things are going great and I am tossing punk kids into lit fireplaces, I dine on rib eyes and caviar. When I am bored, losing money or in [[TLT]] , I sort of lose passion, ranging from food to blogging. It’s sort of weird.

God willing, the market will get eaten alive by upright walking pigs and I can reinvest my cash. Either way, I still missed out on some monster moves: think Green Mountain Coffee Roasters Inc. [[GMCR]] .

Okay, to sum up today’s tape in Fly land: the dick suckers from Silicon Storage Technology, Inc. [[SSTI]] have accepted an egregiously low takeover bid by Microchip Technology Inc. [[MCHP]] . And, despite dollar neutrality, [[TLT]] sold off another .5%. All in all, today was another non-event for me.

I bought 10,000 [[TLT]] in the $89.80’s.

Disclaimer: If you buy TLT because of this post, VKING will be reinstated. And, you may lose money.

NOTE: Don’t forget to vote.

—-SPECIAL EMERGENCY ELECTION—- (see bottom of post)

There is no other way to describe my sentiments, other than directly suggesting that you, the internet buffoon, lighten up. As an aside, “The Fly” has taken on a new approach to life, via “channeling” his energy more constructively. An era of positivity is upon you; don’t get in my fucking way or I will kick you into idle fault lines.

I do not mean to be harsh. It just happens to be my nature.

Separately, I am trying to make believe I did not read that the dick suckers from Silicon Storage Technology, Inc. [[SSTI]] might have accepted a $3.05 offer from Microchip Technology Inc. [[MCHP]] . There has to be more to the story. With the stock down to $3.07 in pre-market, there is no point selling here. The hard cash offer is now $3.05. Let’s see if Cerberus steps up with a counteroffer. If not, chalk up a 5% loss. Not that much of a big deal.

Commodities are red hot these days, as analysts completely fuck themselves with shifting opinions. Case in point: United States Steel Corporation [[X]] .

How many times have analysts changed their opinions on letter X over the past year? Always remember, research is entirely vital in helping you understand what you are invested in. However, when it comes to buy/sell recs, please don’t waste your time taking the advice from nerdtron analysts.

Bottom line: See title.

UPDATE: FREE VKING?

Should I remove the ban on VKING from posting in the peanut gallery?polls