Proper Etiquette is Expected

One of the downsides to blogging on the internets is the constant flow of new people eyeballing my site. These people come here, with a typical American give me attitude, always wanting—in need of assistance. They ask me all sorts of fucked up questions, ranging from the size of my book of business to the methodology behind picking stocks. Well, every so often, a certain post is required, by my person (with my own hand), to set the proletariat straight. I will have you know, you are reading such a post right now.

To put it plainly, I will offer you several analogies, in order to make pictures inside your small brains so that you can understand me better.

If you were fortunate enough to meet with Ty Cobb or Babe Ruth, or any of the great baseball players, being an aspiring ball player yourself, what type of questions would you ask him? Would you ask the Babe: “how do you swing a bat?” Or would you ask Mr. Cobb, “if a pitcher tells you to fuck a fire hydrant, then hits you in the helmet with a fastball, what should you do?”

Of course not.

Asking great men elementary questions is a grave insult, punishable by death in select countries around the world. Do not ask Einstein “how do you use arrays when multiplying numbers?”

I spit on your face. I stomp on your nose.

Quit asking me questions, for I am not obligated, nor inclined to help you. The popularity of my blog is NOT by design, but by the will of space and time and all celestial beings. I never asked to be a Space Alien Magician, able to bank coin in Nagasaki, circa 1945; I just do it. It is my burden; it is my crucible. It’s as natural to me as metal attracting to magnets or ridiculous losses plaguing the NY sports scene. What you witness here, day in and day out, is nothing short of greatness, on the level of Ty Cobb or Babe Ruth, only in money management realm—my domain. If I was on the teevee, managing a gagillion dollars for misfits in bow ties, you’d revere my writings as if they were gospel. Instead, because of the venue, many of you simply chalk the science conducted here on iBC as mere “child play,” not so much different than the low-end pyramids at Giza.

Watch it happen, over and over again and ask yourself: is he lucky?

At this stage, I don’t even need to research stocks. I can simply look at a ticker for 10 minutes, watch it trade, and tell you the direction with “magic ball” accuracy. If you want a leg up in this business, put in the fucking work and invest in your trade. My greatest investment, life to date, was creating The PPT. More recently, launching the trading group 12631 (accessible to PPT subs only) is shaping up to be my second best venture on iBC to date, thanks to the prescient help of my partners: Chess and RC.

So, in summary, if you want advice, go fuck a dog and kick an old man down a sewer drain. That will make you feel a lot better about yourself. But, if you want to learn, invest in yourself and quit being a leech.

I’m a motor boating son of a bitch. That’s all.

For you PPT’ers: tomorrow I do the “million dollar roll.”

My personal aggressive accounts are now stretched to the max, fully leveraged into Christmas. Going into today, my portfolio consisted of BBRG, CX, EK, MGM, TTWO, REXX and EXK. However, I made a few changes today, selling out of some, adding in others. Bottom line: it is sling-shooting higher, despite your curses and ill wishes. “The Fly” is on a magic carpet ride,  ignoring assholes, banking egregious coin along the way.

My two new buys are promising: MOTR and BPFH. I really like the small banks here; hence the position in BPFH. And, I really like owning shit that corporate raiders own in this m&a environment. Hence, I own MOTR in my personal, alongside one of my idols: Carl “fuck you sideways, give me three seats on your board” Icahn.

You do not need to be a genius to make money in this market, just balls. I have enough for all of you fuckers combined here. Don’t get out of place, due to tales of Chinese men mixed with Christmas. Get on the carpet, fuckface, we’re going into orbit.

PPT Subs: My favorite small bank screen. Save it.

I bought MOTR in personal accounts and BPFH in others.

Disclaimer: If you buy the above stocks because of this post Santa Claus will kill your stupid dog this year, like Mike VXX. And, you may lose money.

I sold out of CENX (5th largest position).

UPDATE: I sold out of MGM, EK and some of TTWO and BBRG

It was December of 1983. “The Fly” was 7 years old and his mother was a widow for two years. My sister and I were hungry, so Mom called the local Chinese eatery and ordered some beef with broccoli. You know, to get our “health game on.”

Twenty minutes passed and the doorbell rang. I opened the door and there stood a Chinese delivery man, age 45, dressed in what looked like “farm-hand clothes.” My Mother came to the door, paid for the food, thanked the greasy man at the door and said “goodnight.” Mom served up some beef with broccoli to my Sister (it was her favorite dish). However, much to her chagrin, it didn’t taste right. The broccoli tasted “somewhat pungent.” Alarmed, Mom called the local eatery back and asked if she could be refunded, for money was tight and the food was no good. The person on the other end of the phone said “okay,” and proceeded to send back the delivery man.

About 45 minutes passed and a series of knocks were heard at the door. I remember them vividly, as it disrupted my day dream, staring into the Christmas lights on my Douglas fir tree. I answered the door and the Chinese delivery man was standing there, somewhat annoyed, asking for “your Mother.” Mom came to the door and told him “the beef with broccoli is no good. Please give us a refund.” Immediately, he became aggressive with his mannerisms, agitated by the request. In a deep accent, he said “ret [sic] me see.”

Mom walked over to the table, leaving the door open; he followed her into our apartment. She gave him the carton of pungent food and said “here, take this back and give us a refund.” He retorted “it’s a good. I don’t take a back. Look.” He then proceeded to put his hand into the beef with broccoli carton, shoveling its contents into his mouth with great force and vigor, declaring “see it’s a good.”  Sauce dripped off his hand onto my dining room floor.Mortified by these events, young Fly darted and hid under the table. Mom blurted out “get the fuck out of here you crazy son of a bitch,” just prior to taking the beef with broccoli carton from the gentlemen from the far east and tossing it into his chest.

Because of these egregious events, “The Fly” never eats Chinese food near Christmas, just in case you were wondering.

The Giants acted like the Mets/Jets and Knicks combined today, getting lit up by “The Dog Killer”, in an epic 4th quarter catastrophe. Just in case you didn’t know, their season is effectively over.

It is the will of The Stock Gods to punish the team of Jakegint for his transgressions against Le Fly.

Good day.

A splendid end to a wonderful week. I just swapped out AKS for MGM in my personal accounts and now find myself leveraged 200%, going into “merger Monday.” For clients, I am decidedly bullish, with 90% long, 10% cash. My positions range from silver to tech to oil/gas to video games. Essentially,  I am long high beta into what I deem to be a “window of opportunity,” from now until New Year’s.

Santa’s sleigh is ready and he will murder you, if you get in his way. There is nothing smart about betting against holiday joy or New Year’s bonanzas. Failure to adhere to my words of wisdom will lead to a swift “zero-hedging” of your accounts (I mean that in the most heinous of ways).

Just to reiterate, U.S. corporations have the most cash on hand, as a percentage, since 1959. The money needs to be invested and I believe 2011 will represent nirvana for the investment banking community, as companies shuffle the chairs on top of their cruise-liners.  As you know, I don’t fucking lose, so do yourself a favor and get with the program.

UPDATE: I bought 30,000 EK

I bought 10,000 MGM.

Pardon my tardiness, as I’ve been scurrying about in preparation of Mrs. Fly’s birthday.

My year to date gains are being stretched, like Plastic Man, thanks to AKS, TTWO, CCJ, BBRG etc. Like I said before, nothing can stop this market. It has the swagger of a pimp with 10 diamond rings and the ethos of a gentleman wearing two tuxedos, three top hats and 4 canes.

Yes, it’s true, the holidays will be set on a grande stage this year, at Le Casa del Fly. There  is a large inventory of shrimp cocktail and high end champagne to go around. Money will be tossed around as if it was counterfeit and laughter will be contagious, especially when that ridiculous ball drops on New Year’s eve. While it’s true, many in this country are suffering, through job loss and/or retarded money management mishaps. None of those things afflict me, so I am not to be bothered with “suchness.”

TTWO is a $15 stock. Just like MWW sprinted higher and I erroneously sold it near $20; TTWO will continue to charge higher in the coming days, weeks and months to come. If you want a model of how a business should operate, TTWO is that model.

Oh, by the way, the idiots who are short AKS are getting “black flag” treatment today, rightfully so. I am heavily long AKS in my personal aggressive accounts, lending to personal winship on a level that books are made from.