Staind – For You

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“The Fly” doesn’t need no stupid Vulture Capital funding. It was all a big ruse, in order to force some of you lemmings into emailing me congratulatory messages. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. It’s one of those “The Fly is winning, despite the appearance of losing” sort of moments.

The market is crazier than bat shit in a mental hospital, with herky jerky moves, kneecapping then “splendour [sic] fucking” (I realize that term is meaningless) overzealous short sellers, who wear pink suits to work and yellow turbans to bed.

My SRS position did fine, while FAZ took brassed knuckled jabs to the teeth. At the present, I am content with the action in TLT and SPIL. Moreover, after all of the mark to market/G-20 circus geek act is up, I promise you, “The Fly” will step into this market with great vigor and fashion, in an effort to perplex and annihilate the many foes betting against me.

So you know, I’ve been spending my days eating ham sandwiches and talking to business associates, aside from blogging. Let it be known, I have many irons in the fire; so many, you would not believe me if I told you.

When down and in doubt, depressed about your pathetic lives, feel solace in knowing, somehow, somewhere, “The Fly” is winning and enjoying it.

Never mind what I am doing. The majority of you out there are low grade gamblers, who NEED to invest daily, in order to get a fix or some emotional high or some shit.

While everyone is all giddy and shit, you might as well get long some ag, banks and tech—no kidding. Providing you will limit the downside on your positions, going long amidst the apocalypse is okay.

Within ag, [[MOS]], [[MON]] and POT look good. Within banks, the U.K. is helping BCS commit fraud, by way of lying about everything. And, within tech, I like small cap crap SPIL, NFLX and NTES.

Your hedge should be short crude, via SCO and short CRE, via SRS or direct sales in ACC and HME.

Back at the deflationary vortex pub, I like TLT, up to $115.

A lot of you losers talk shit, for the fun of talking shit— I gather

Let’s take a gander at my recent moves:

Sold SCO for two point win.

Long FAZ from low $19’s

Long SRS from low $54’s

Long TLT from $105’s

Sold out of PCR for a small loss

Sold out of BUCY for small win

And, all of my commentary has been spot on, from short ACC to WRI to MAC to HME to RIG. So, while you’re over there, day dreaming about the life you could have had, I am here in a fucking diamond spaceship/time machine, doing rocket man type shit.

The shit that you do on weekends is for chicks. I have robots with more personality than you.

I cannot tell you exactly when “The Fly” will step in large and house this market. However, I am pleased to report, business is at an all-time high and the sweet taste of “Victory Nectar” has never been sweeter.

I bought a little SPIL, due to inane strength in the semis. Why fight it?

Also, the trading pattern reminds me of CY, which, incidentally, was another win. Let’s not forget about my glorious wins in SWHC and RGR either.

See folks, “The Fly” is in a constant, some might call it “perpetual,” state of victory or “winship.” You can try all you like to besmirch me, by way of homo’d out comments on the blog. However, we all know the truth. You are just kidding youself, while putting your mustache in grave danger of being knocked the fuck off.

I bought 5,000 SPIL @ $5.91.

Disclaimer: If you buy SPIL because of this post, your gardener will go postal on you and cut down your favorite tree. And, you may lose money.

We got ourselves a bunch of dead corpses bouncing around here, eating the brains of unprotected short sellers. Just this morning it looked like the market was about to rollover, then BAM,the zombie bank shuffle kicked in. Gains in the banks are being led by C, BCS and COF. Le Creme of the crop. The captains of industry.

Back in the real world, crude is down again. However, oil stocks are higher. At this stage, I have no confidence in equities, long or short. If I wanted to put my bear trade back on oil, I’d go the SCO rout, instead of betting against oil stocks. The commodity markets are less manipulated than the equity markets, if you can believe that.

I still like my TLT and yes I am still long both SRS and FAZ, however, in small quantity.

Gold stocks look good here, particularly GOLD and RGLD. Even though the dollar has been relatively strong, gold has been hanging in there. Should the dollar weaken, I am sure gold/silver will spike to new highs.

Finally, cre names are weak, led by losses in UDR, WRI and SPG. But, considering yesterday’s gorilla raping of the shorts, I’d hold off on any new cre shorts or SRS purchases. I’m at a weird place now, where I have loads of cash to invest, but lack the motivation to allocate it, since I am wary of government fuckery.

NOTE: It’s true what Chart Addict says: iBankCoin raised some money through a Vulture Venture Capital group. Funds will be used to heighten the level of fuckery that I am on and expand it to all parts of the globe.

A great man once said “I want an armageddon asap!” This thought and sentiment is exactly how I feel, truth be told. Just bring it on already. Fuck all of the foreplay. Let’s see tanks roll over protesting hippies in D.C. and U.S aircraft carriers sink shrimping boats off the coast of China.

I am greedy. I want it all.

I want real fiat currency to be worth less than the monopoly variety. And, I want to see most stocks go to zero, INCLUDING all of the inverse etf’s.

RIM SHOT!

Aside from all that, Japanese business sentiment is so bad, they might as well bring back the samurai and attack China on horseback, and shit.

Oh, and Obama said GM should go bankrupt. SHHHHHhhhh, don’t fucking tell anyone. It might cause a stir.

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So goes the phrase of my dearly beloved late Grandfather: “you’re all schmucks, the whole lot of you.”

Bewildered you are, sitting there in the “unluxury” of your plastic chair, shocked by the late day chicanery. Give up the business of managing other people’s money and leave that burden on the shoulders of great investors, such as Senor Tropicana.

Frankly, as opposed to being “unfrank,” your hedge fund deserves 100% redemptions. God willing, blessed by the stone of Jupiter, all of your clients will leave you and spend the proceeds at the track.

At the end of the first quarter of 2009, “The Fly” is ahead to the tune of 25%, with a 90% cash position. He has small cocked positions in FAZ and SRS, with a little TLT flavour [sic]. Going into tomorrow, I might buy more SRS or I might buy UYM. Tune in to find out, liver lips.

In closing, you are a bad investor because you guess. I am better because I know.

Good Day.

So they are going to water down mark to market accounting on Thursday. At the same time, they (insidious dark forces) are funneling tax payer dollars through AIG into the vacation home vaults of the executives at GS. It’s a tough time to be in the business of shorting stocks, while these forces are in the sandbox.

Yesterday’s sell off has been erased by today’s reasonless spike. This is the type of market that people bungee jump off bridges for, sans the bungee rope.

I sold out of my SCO position, which was initiated yesterday at $31.10, around $33. Although I think oil goes lower, I can’t stay short crude, while the market is spiking. I am not selling FAZ, SRS or TLT, mainly due to the positions being tiny. And, it’s worth noting, I am still in a 90%+ cash position.

It’s a meat grinder out there people. Put your fucking sausage costumes on and get on the conveyor belt. While you are busy doing that, “The Fly” will wait in the tall grass for his opportunity to strike a deadly blow.