Remember When I Said I Would Short Stocks?

I lied.

I couldn’t pull the asshat trigger on my targeted shorts. Tech was too fucking strong. Despite taking a stiff upper cut to the scrotum on the pain maker aka Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , I made coin today, mainly thanks to gains in Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] and OmniVision Technologies, Inc. [[OVTI]] .

Call me a caribou crazy, but deep down in my gut, I sense a rally coming. Granted, I’ve been saying such asinine things during the entire 4 week death march lower. The fact still remains: “The Fly” is never wrong, even while losing, even when wrong.

In my experience, the market usually turns when I start slapping people in the face with hot slices of pizza. Let it be known, my trader/servant’s nickname is “Marinara Nose.”

For the week, I lost tonnes [sic] of money, as FTK/ERX taught me a lesson in stupidity. With the grace of heavily booted clowns, I will be back to my winning ways, sometime soon. If not, well then, I may need to grow a beard and start threatening my neighbors with sharp knives, again (just kidding, I only threaten them with garden tools).

If you are confused over the current direction of the market, join the party, hosted by yours truly. Drinks and appetizers WILL NOT be served. Just a few short weeks ago, or maybe a month (I forget), the market was fun. I was skipping through green fields, with knitted sweaters wrapped around my shoulders and cigars hanging out of my mouth.

Today, I am shivering in a wet alley, with a dirty old burlap jacket velcro’d to my back and a crack pipe hanging out of my pocket. Life is grim, especially when you make all sorts of fucked up moves. Now, in all fairness, my recent flurry of buys, specifically in Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] , OmniVision Technologies, Inc. [[OVTI]] and Ciena Corporation [[CIEN]] , have not been all that bad. It’s the other shit that’s killing me, namely [[ERX]] and Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] . You do not need a “calculator brain” to know that holding onto losers is ALWAYS a bad idea. I broke all sorts of rules, holding through the carnage. As much as I preach, I did not heed my own warnings. For that, I am awarding myself a commemorative Asshat of the Week Award.

For the most part, I am still bullish on select tech names, despite what the tape is saying. I’ve been at this long enough to know the tape is always wrong, or often behind the curve.

As for Dennis Kneel [sic]:

First, I want to bury the ridiculous hatchet between Karl (boy do I hate the K in Carl) and iBC. He and Woodshedder can go debate “the ancient secrets of the Golden Cross” on 60 minutes. To be honest, I don’t give a fuck.

This Dennis character is besmirching those who blog from the comforts of anonymity. Look here, dickhead, some people don’t want their faces covered in make-up. Some people do not want the lights shining on their faces. Some people have important things to say and require anonymity to do so. If you think anonymity is bad, lobby Congress to restrict anonymity at the polls. Let’s get rid of whisteblowers and informants too. Who the fuck needs them anyway?

After all, life is all about being transparent, except of course when you are cheating on your wife or dancing around your taxes.

You get my point.

Some people require privacy and do not want to be bothered by others. Instead of lashing out at the tiny little internet, Dennis should take a look in the mirror and try to recall all of the stupid shit he said on national television, such as: “I bet you this market closes up today.” By far, CNBC is the worst offender of manipulating stocks, in all of the media—combined. How many times did Gasparinio or Faber or Cramer jerk stocks higher, as a result of bad reporting?

Tell me Dennis, are you feeling lucky, punk?

I am dreaming of dancing marshmallows, thinking this market is going higher. Who the fuck am I kidding? This tape has sucked balls for more than a month now and here I am rationalizing myself to death, all the while this Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] cocksucker is death spiraling into the ground. Sure, there are small signs of life, especially in the tech space. But, for the most part, the FAZtards are having their way and it’s only gonna get worse.

Thus far, all of the recent data points to a prolonged recession. With the consumer in the penalty box and people losing their jobs, I am out of my fucking mind, long equities, going into the slow summer months. For fucks sake, even Larry Kudlow is talking bearish now.

Aside from crude oil, the sellers are killing commercial real estate stocks, as evidenced by [[SRS]] . While it’s true, the CRE fuckers have raised a lot of money, effectively avoiding insolvency. It’s also true, their businesses still suck moose cock and their share prices are susceptible to egregious bear raids.

Enough of the bullshit. The time for having siestas in the shade drinking lemonade are over. I am starting positions in a variety of inverse etf’s today and I am not going to think twice about it.

A lucky day indeud for Mr. Jet Fuel aka Leonard Dykstra.

I have numerous errands to run today, so this will be my only post during the trading session. My crystal ball says, the market is about to pop, led by banks and tech. Already, we are seeing extreme bullishness in the sectors, with big dicked gains in Ciena Corporation [[CIEN]] , Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] , TriQuint Semiconductor [[TQNT]] and Deutsche Bank AG (USA) [[DB]] , just to name a few.

Despite cursing the Gods for placing me into Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , “The Fly” is having a splendid day, with gains in OmniVision Technologies, Inc. [[OVTI]] , SandRidge Energy Inc. [[SD]] Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] , [[ERX]] , salesforce.com, inc. [[CRM]] , CIEN and TEKELEC [[TKLC]] .

I’m not exactly thrilled over today’s action, but it will suffice. For the most part, the economy is getting donkey punched; but the trillion dollar question remains, what does that mean for stocks? Does the Dow belong at 8,100, 6,100 or 10,000? As crazy would have it, I would not be surprised to see all three numbers hit, over the next six months. In the meantime, I am sticking to a thesis, just sort of riding this fucker out. Granted, it’s not a risk free strategy; nonetheless, eventually, rest assured I will be bowling on you fuckers with cannon balls of fire.

Aside from current holdings, I like the action in Starent Networks Corp. [[STAR]] , Alcatel-Lucent (ADR) [[ALU]] , General Cable Corporation [[BGC]] and Marvell Technology Group Ltd. [[MRVL]]

Just a quick update on my market positions, not a big deal.

I am still bullish on the indices, despite head and shoulders and retarded necklines being broken. Anyone with a half a brain and a net worth more than 50k could care less about such nonsense. I am not bullish on banks, CRE and small crap, even though I am long Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] and [[ENTR]] . Consider them my pets.

I am very bullish on technology stocks, specifically companies that are playing notable roles in building out the 4g network (LTE) and anything to do with production of smartphones. Moreover, I am bullish on Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] , due to their dominance in glass. Remember, they do not make the glass for your bullshit house. They make glass substrates, most commonly used in LCD’s. And, expect to see GLW play a significant part in the smartphone area too, as phones move to touchscreen.

Finally, within smartphones, I am most impressed with the iPhone. Therefore, any company putting chips or parts into iPhones are worth my investment dollars, such as OmniVision Technologies, Inc. [[OVTI]] .

NOTE: I am not stuck on bullshit. Should this tape continue to deteriorate, I will hedge quick and heavy: I promise.

[youtube:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4qN2JWL8wcE 616 500]

Regrettably, this evenings GRAVEYARD PARTY, hosted by DEVIL DOG and “The Great Roubini,” has been canceled, due to government interference. Goldman Sachs, alongside the O’Bama administration, saved the day. Incidentally, earlier today, I informed the gentlemen of The PPT of a pending bottom, at the very lows of the day. During that time, DEVIL DOG and Co. were packing their napsacks with horse nose meat and the testicles of small cats, for a late night snack, of course.

As you know, “The Fly” bought more Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] today, while he was having a “fuck it” moment, reminiscent of the gentlemen drinking a few brandies, while the Titanic was sinking into freezing as fuck water.

In short, today’s reversal was impressive and will lead to a sharp bounce tomorrow. Write that down, fuckface.

NOTE: iBC’s own Chart Addict just launched a premium service. Despite not being a fan of charts, I am a huge fan of The Chart Addict. His market calls have been nothing short of stellar. For those of you who are interested in stepping up your game, I believe his service is worth your investment.

This is it for me, final buy of 10,000 Corning Incorporated [[GLW]] @ $14.05.

Disclaimer: If you buy GLW because of this post, your wife will find out you were cheating and cut your balls off. And, you may lose money.

NOTE: For PPT subs, Extreme Oversold Conditions

California is a disgusting state, filled with degenerate sickos, who drive around in small electric cars. The state is full of waste, both monetary and organic. As you well know, California is the epicenter and the epitome of what is wrong with America today.

So, without further haste, I will list a few names, always worth betting against or shorting, for your pleasure.

Sorted by lowest hybrid score and state (min. price $10), via The PPT:

PacWest Bancorp [[PACW]] , Verisign, Inc. [[VRSN]] , BioMarin Pharmaceutical Inc. [[BMRN]] , Redwood Trust, Inc. [[RWT]] , Calpine Corporation [[CPN]] , 3PAR Inc. [[PAR]] , AMB Property Corporation [[AMB]] , The Ryland Group, Inc. [[RYL]] and ArcSight Inc. [[ARST]] .

Naturally, now that I am highlighting some horrid California stocks, the market will soon explode, like a volcano, to the upside. Nonetheless, it’s a good list to keep handy, just in case you get lost in the market jungle, without a compass or piker pass to The PPT.