30 I find myself having to explain what and why I am doing something fucking constantly, and those around me are completely illogical. Just now I am in an argument with the lady because she wants to eat Sushi after the gym, which is a total waste of fuel. Do you put race gas in your car on the way home after racing on 89 octane? I didn’t think so. I am usually totally down for an educated argument, but lately the arguments have been complete wastes of time. One of my best friends is back up here from San Diego and is looking for a job in tech sales, which is what almost all my friends who aren’t in finance do, Sales Force, Apptos, etc. Anyways, he’s like “why don’t you just go get a job for [insert sell side name] or a boutique firm?’ me “why would I get paid less, to work for fucking morons, who I am going to make a bunch of money for, while getting paid a small fraction. Not to mention having to get all dressed up every day and commuting downtown at 5am. FUCK THAT.” He couldn’t understand it. I’m pretty sure he wanted to start his own business at some point, and he is a brilliant fuckin dude so he should. These fucking tech firms and their structure, bring your dogs to work, pajama day, office kegs on Friday = mental reverse masturbation. I like to work, and I like to work hard, this is thoroughly impeded by the likes of the bullshit above.
See I am a weird angry fucker. I need to be left to my own devices, when the Dr gives me a task he leaves me to it and I have never let him down. I do not work well with others, unless they are like me [read bloodthirsty angry paratroopers who are highly motivated to complete the mission]. I also am bad at explaining things, seemingly because I believe they are rather obvious. My Dad has the same problem. I also carry a large amount of testosterone in my system, which can lead to gnarly mood swing some days, especially if I haven’t worked out in a few days. Another argument today was my parent’s money with my mom; she had lost them a little over 2mil which I have since made almost 1mil back for them. I advised moving half of their money out of money markets and back into stocks on Monday, IF the pro-bailout party gets elected in Greece. Ever since having me manage their money, instead of my mom trying, they are used to winning and want to keep doing it. The problem, THE FUCKING VOLATILITY, I have to get in an argument with my Mom the corporate banker, then have a rational conversation with my Dad the nuclear engineer, who then has to convince my Mom, who then apologizes and says thanks that is all makes sense now. Seriously WTF, this is the problem with being a money manager of family and friends. I don’t mind explanations, but can we wait ’till the end of the month when I issue my report please?
Look, I am a weird proud fucker, and any kind of confrontation is met with maximum force. This is my way, I am a northerner, I know not of politics, I cannot look someone in the face who I want to smash in the face with a war hammer and pretend to be nice, I am not passive by any means, if someone does something I don’t like I let them know immediately, I do not like being challenged and take it as a direct threat, I will die for my friends and family at any moment, graciously.
This leads me to my next part; I could say a bunch of bravado bullshit here about winning in the market this week. But, if you didn’t make money this week you are either a fucking moron or some apocalyptic asshole who wants to see the world burn for some fucked up reason. We have the elections tomorrow in Greece, and depending on the results, we’ll see if the clam is unleashed. Until then happy drinking, I’m off to deadlift a car, literally.
30 Responses to “No Explanation Necessary”
leftcoasttrader
I would never actively manage my family or friends money. You are a brave man in that regard. Sounds like your parents got hit pretty hard in the last recession.
If friends/family want to throw some money in passive rotational systems I’ve developed and try to beat the market by a few %’s each year, that’s fine. Anything beyond that puts too much stress on relationships IMHO.
And if you’re making it on your own there is absolutely zero incentive to go get a job, unless someone gives you a sweetheart deal like seeding you at a hedge fund geared towards individual money managers. You want to clear all your trade ideas through supervisors at a boutique, or slowly kill yourself on the sell side? No and no.
rhino
Exactly, what if the portfolio manager doesn’t like my style, etc. People don’t get how rough and competive this industry is. I ,regularly tell my cocky, shit head sell side, neighbor and his frat boy friends to fuck off.
thetapeguy
LMFAO
Yogi and Boo Boo
Nice post. Hands off family money. I tried for years to get them to take a more active roll in their finances to no avail. Now I only give my kid sister the signals when to switch and where.
I don’t tell people what I do any more. Takes too much ‘splainin, and then when I would tell them I’d get this look like “huh?”. Fuckem.
Rhino
or they automatically think your are like uncle Bernie or a CFO at Enron.
Yogi and Boo Boo
lol. I keep a very low profile. I’d make Uncle Warren look like a drunken sailor on shore leave.
Rhino
Me too, but people hear finance and think you are the devil.
thetapeguy
Yeah, especially all the idiots I went to school with in san francisco. Only communicate with select few conservative like minded cats even though I made hundred of friends.
Thomas
Great song choice. Never expected to see Minor Threat at ibankcoin.
Yogi and Boo Boo
Indeud, great song choice.
Rhino
Thanks gents, I guess I am going to dub my self “The Punk Rock Money Manager.”
Yogi and Boo Boo
There are worse things to call yourself.
elizamae
ex: “The Adult Contemporary Money Manager”
Rhino
Thanks dudes! A punk rock money manager means that I have conscious I guess?
thetapeguy
Yeah like Barack Obama.
ultramarine
Excellent post. I’ve been trying to manage my Mom’s money (not millions) and due to this volatility, like you mentioned, it’s been tough to find something that has decent yield without the risk of blowing up. Guess I could put her into muni funds but if rates start going up again those will take a hit.
Her best performers so far have been Telecom and Utilities (T and DUK), but she had inherited the small positions in those from a few years back. Guess I can take credit for telling her not to sell them (lol).
Yogi and Boo Boo
Ultra – Take the time to learn how to add options to your weapons arsenal. I’m still learning strategies, but just using relatively simple buy write strategies, you can generate decent low risk returns.
Rhino
Yeah especially on tech options that expire soon e.g. ZNGA and YELP this week.
zenhunter
One of my rule is to never talk stocks with family members and friends (both business and personal). Since I switch channels constantly depend on price action, I don’t need the add’l headache of informing (if I even remember who I mentioned to) the parties of what I did so they do not come back to haunt me.
Regarding managing your family money, why not simply ask them to “invest” a portion of their money in you and leave it at that. Your mom can then manage the rest. When it is time for them to retire, you will bring out your “surprise”.
Cheers!
rhino
My mom is a gnarly control freak, and I try to be transparent. Im in the process of starting a new fund, in which they will be taking a large amount out of their 401ks and giving me the cash instead of an asset transfer. It’s hard dealing with Friend/family money, but its better than letting them get screwed by some shitty fund like Paulson’s.
Frog
Great post. Good luck with managing family money and not letting them drive you
bonkers.
I hope that as you grow older you will find it easier to destress yourself and just ignore it when some folks make wrong decisions about sushi etc.
Human beings seldom learn by advice from others. Most of us learn only by our own experience. Most of us have to pee on the electric wire ourselves before we choose not to do that again.
Rhino
It’s my nature unfortunately man. I’ve been through all kinds of programs to stop it and nothing has worked.
Highsurf
Don’t go dropping that car on me for disagreeing with you on one point: “I also am bad at explaining things, seemingly because I believe they are rather obvious.” Not bad at all! Keep up the good work.
Rhino
Thanks man, I am always looking for commentary. I guess I am better at expressing my knowledge through writing?
elizamae
I’m on the fence about family money.
If you present a prospectus that interests them and you stick to your plan, there is not really much they can kill you over.
I’m probably naive.
Rhino
It’s really not that big of a deal, my mom is like that in everything in life, whether it is money or my niece’s middle name.
thetapeguy
Rhino, you have a logical argument about sushi here, they don’t. They act on impulses and sometimes and have to roll with it and not sweat the small shit to keep them happy.
You are a real ass mother fucker and I respect this. Keep doing what you’re doing big rhino!
Rhino
Thanks boss, means a lot.
The Fly
I have no problem managing family money, since no one else can do it better than me. Plus, if you are okay with managing money for total stranger, you better damn feel the same confidence about your families money too.
rhino
I think I actually feel more confident with family money. Just like I feel more comfortable fighting people as a sport that I know. I guess because they trust me and know that I dont want to kill them and they me?