Close Encounters of the Drunken Douche Kind

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The market is fucked, completely sideways. We should be at a bottom, but if Merkel keeps up the high ground then we enter an abyss of a sink hole. I’m not trying to be apocalyptic, only realistic. I’m expecting and hopefully prepared for it.

The weather here was so awful yesterday, 58degrees with 30 knot winds, yet there were two festivals going on and my place is sandwiched in between the two. So it was not only miserable from the weather but also the drunken spoiled children who love to frequent my hood, with many living here. This is how bad these fuckers are, 22-35 working some heinous office job that doesn’t make shit and mommy and daddy foot the bill for them to live in a place where a 1bdrm apartment is an average of $2000 a month.   My parents have never paid for college for me, your tax dollars have, but had they paid and had I said “hey I want to go to this expensive ass liberal arts college in Canada,” they would have said to “suck it the fuck up and drive on,” I believe we need more of this.

So these idiots have been told their entire life that they are special and that they can basically do no wrong. Then they get hammered and come to my ‘hood, or they live in this hood and get hammered. I no longer have any desire to go out to bars and such, I would much rather have a dinner party or BBQ with friends. I have done more than my fair share of partying, but I have NEVER EVER thought that if I said something arrogant, offensive, etc that the person I said it to wouldn’t want to smash my head in, this is something very unique to San Francisco that I have not experienced elsewhere, there are idiots who get in fight here but it is almost always some brawl were a group of Frat Fuckers stomp poor guy out who was just standing his ground.  I am being hurried by the missus to go look at an open house a few blocks away so i have to make this fast…A quick story

When I first moved back to San Francisco after having totalled my Z06 in Santa Barbara where I was living for 2 years, I bought a piece of shit 96 Mustang GT, worst car I have ever owned. I was also finishing up school and working full time, because well DUI’s where you total cars then fight 6 cops are expensive.  So I was finally coming home from the gym after school and work at 10pm on a Tuesday, I parked in a metered spot around the corner from my now fiance’s apartment that I was living at on Union Street here in the city. As I was leaned over the folded forward front seat to get my bags out of the back, this asshole comes out of the bar I parked in front of “Mauna Loa,” and front kicks me in the ass. This made me hit my head on the back of the center console and then on the door frame on the way out. He’s standing there smiling at me and I swing a horrendous hay-maker right at his face, but the door is in the way and bounces back so I can’t connect. By this time his friends are outside too, one is calm and trying to calm everyone down, the other is talking “ghettoish” even though they are all lily white skinny little fucks in polo’s and khaki’s. I go after this little fucker again and chase him half a block, he ran like the skinny little bitch he is. Then his Eminem wannabe friend who weighs like 160lbs, maybe, gets in my face talking all ghetto. I picked him up by his shirt lifted him over my head and slammed him into the street. His voice and demeanor immediately changed. The calm guy is trying to tell me that he was drunk and to give them all a break, I told him it was no excuse, and that if anything happened to my piece of shit car, I would hunt them the fuck down.  Off to look at a domicile, I’ve got some more later including 3 beer reviews.

6 Responses to “Close Encounters of the Drunken Douche Kind”

  1. As a san franciscan who went to school there, I know exactly what you mean, they parade around cow hollow and the marina like a bunch of puffs. Well done Rhino, enjoying the stories, hilarious.

  2. leftcoasttrader

    Great stuff.

    There are few things worse in society than suburban white kids with a pack mentality.

  3. Great stuff…maybe you should’ve ruffled their collars on their J. Crew shirts as well

  4. ‘Roid rage, much?

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