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CNN Should Buy Twitter

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Joined Nov 23, 2015
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Hear me out…

Trump has been dominating the headlines the past few days, drawing ire from the most ridiculous tweet of the year.  In case you’ve just awoken from your pre-4th of July blackout coma, please watch the video below.

Being a redneck conservative and old school wrestling fan, I thought the video was comical but also insane. Unless you absolutely hate Trump’s guts, I would venture to say his post at least made you smirk a little or at least shake your head in bewilderment.  But, once you started seeing the media’s reaction, you acted in disgust and contempt.  Every time he posts something insane like this I think to myself, “Yup, this is gonna be the one that gets him impeached.”

Could you imagine if Obama did something like this?

Trump will go down in the troll hall of fame with this post and mainstream media cannot stop talking about it or him for that matter.  The post kicked off a witch hunt led by CNN to find the person responsible for creating the video.  Leftists were also calling for Twitter to ban Donald Trump.  Lest we forget that not less than 2 months ago, Jack Dorsey said Donald Trump’s tweets are good and he should keep posting them.

But, let’s get back to why CNN should buy Twitter and the steps they can take to regain a sliver of their dignity.

  1. Buy Twitter (for an insane premium so I can sell and get back to even).
  2. Fire Jack Dorsey (so someone else can put in an edit button).
  3. Make Anderson Cooper CEO of Twitter (he seems like the Silicon Valley type).
  4. Make Trump apologize (lol).
  5. If Step 4 doesn’t work, ban Trump from Twitter. (to try and establish alpha male status).
  6. If Step 4 works, ban Trump from Twitter. (to 1-up the troll of all trolls).

The following playbook would most likely be the death blow for Twitter as a functioning product and company, but god damn it would be hilarious.  I can already picture Trump making all of his advisors produce anonymous egg accounts on a daily basis to barrage mainstream media with a lifetime supply of high level trolling.

CNN is owned by the Turner Broadcasting System division of Time Warner which is currently trying to close the merger with AT&T.  So when I say CNN should buy Twitter, I really mean AT&T/Time Warner should buy Twitter.

Full Disclosure: Long $TWTR. No position in $T or $TWX.

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5 comments

  1. The Maven

    This is awesome.

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    • sarcrilege

      not only awesome but dream come true to see all the dead weight (twitter, CNN, etc.) take down AT&T/Time Warner.

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  2. moonshot

    Would be hard to convince anyone that buy made sense. Anyone can see Twitter would become worthless in the hands of CNN’s owners, and active users would be decimated long before the transaction closed.

    Gab.ai would likely get a huge boost in active users though.

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  3. oldmantrader

    Not sure how much additional negative publicity CNN can handle. Look for Zucker to retire amd spnd more time with the family. Trump has them thoroughly demoralized.

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  4. chuck bennett

    Hilarious

    Regards

    Chuck Bennett

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