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Financial Engineering 101

My heroes and mentors, Alan Greenspan, Ben Bernanke, Janet Yellen, Haruhiko Kuroda, Mario Draghi, et. al. have all had great success in financial engineering the shit out of the major world economies.  I think it’s time that they transfer some of their knowledge to the little people and maybe a few banana republics who may be interested.

What I am proposing is the following: The Fed should provide free online classes to teach the masses.  That’s right, free.  They already have enough bubbles on their hands, let’s not add the student debt bubble to their list.  An easy solution to this is to provide free online classes via www.coursera.com.

To help them out, I’ve decided to put together a course schedule for some of the basic classes that I believe should be offered.  Feel free to add additional classes to the comments section below and I will make sure to relay your suggestions to people who matter in the world.

Financial Engineering Online Degree Course Schedule:

  • History of the Federal Reserve from 1929-Present
  • Meteorology
  • Non-GAAP Finance Theory
  • Enron and Applied Accounting
  • Bubble Theory
  • Quantitative Easing and the Effects on 401(k) Balances
  • Zero and Negative Interest Rate Policy
  • Psychology of Dip Buying
  • Economics of Unemployment
  • Circular Reference Programming
  • Sociology of Expanding Wealth Gaps
  • Crushing Volatility in Times of Need

Prerequisites include: High School Algebra, Public Speaking, Rowing (Crew), and Watching CNBC.


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