iBankCoin
18 years in Wall Street, left after finding out it was all horseshit. Founder/ Master and Commander: iBankCoin, finance news and commentary from the future.
Joined Nov 10, 2007
23,163 Blog Posts

CATASTROPHE: MARKETS CONTINUE TO PLUNGE WITH NO END IN SIGHT

I will tell you precisely what is going to happen.

Markets will close out the session weak — because it’s September and fuck you. October will fall upon you like a sack of lead balloons — crushing your wallets and then your spirit. We will McPlunge lower to the tune of 10% and all will appear to be lost. Riots will cascade from the urban centers into rural areas — where BLM activities will spread into corn and wheat fields — rioters sacking tonnes of livestock and herding them back to their dwellings for proper butchering and sale. The wheat and corn will be STRIPPED from the fields and sold back to the govt for large profits.

Everyone else will starve.

Then the Fed will issue a press release to the effect that rates can, in fact, be dropped in the face of unyielding catastrophe in the financial markets. The Treasury will step in to expedite their papering over at the banks and stocks will bottom and then surge into the latter part of October.

All will be well into November, as America girds into large vats of brown crazy and mashed potatoes, celebrating Thanksgiving. Bulls will of course remind the bears of their place and boast about their excellence, coasting through December merrily opening Xmas presents and stocking up on Champagne to usher in 2024.

Then catastrophe will strike markets like a bolt of lightening onto Ben Franklin’s kite. They will reel lower and reel again, and the bears will rise up in force and shit all over the heads of the bulls who lay prostrate on the ground — forlorn and strewn — unable to defend the honor and glory of Wall Street.

The end.

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