I know here on the 9th floor, it may seem like every day, in and out, is business. It’s always “market this…” or “company that…” or “let’s analyze these numbers…”
But I want you to know that I’m more than just a dedicated worker. I’m also an author on the side. So I thought I’d take a minute to share with you my latest and greatest upcoming novels, books, and other works of poetry.
The first is a three hundred plus page graphic novel titled “Dick the Decrepit Union Jackass: A Tantalizing Tail of Replacement.”
This masterpiece tells the story of Richard Bimbly and his tragic life, from beginning signing on to a factory where he worked for a debilitating 7.5 hours a day five days a week, until a sudden economic tragedy forced his union to vote out younger, lower paid members. After casting his vote to remove the younger generation, so as to save his dental benefits, Dick is suddenly caught off guard when the company fires the entire staff and replaces them all with the members his union black balled.
I won’t tell you how it en…Dick commits suicide. Oh Damn, I let that slip!
The second book is a self-help guide titled “Education Actually Hasn’t Failed You: Your Kids Are Just Fucking Stupid.”
This book will undoubtedly sell over a million copies in its first five minutes on the shelves, as it eases expectations of bitchy parents, reminding them that their kids would still be disappointments in Ivy League, as much as they are in some cheap public school.
I don’t hesitate to say that its publication will totally change the debate over education shaping up in my home state of Michigan, as both sides remove their calls for reform or increased spending, and return to the tried and true methods of parenting: beating your offspring.
My final composition is merely six thousand words of pros I wrote in my head, driving behind some prick hogging the passing lane, probably from New York or someplace.
The middle two thousand words are just me writing FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU…over and over.
I’m sure you cannot wait to get your hands on these 2011 MASTERPIECES OF LITERATURE.
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Alright, back to work.
AEC and CLP announce earnings and performance at the end of July. Let me give you a sneak peak at their numbers, one month early.
EXCEEDS EXPECTATIONS
Will said pieces be available for my e-reader?
I hate supporting the scabs over at the printing company more than I hate sneaking back onto the line after a blaze a fatty.
All work and now play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and now play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and now play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and now play makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and now play makes Jack a dull boy.
REDRUM
The graphs are half done, so my housing report is not.
you writing style is extremely similar to le fly
I hope not too similar.
rof .teamster…..or doctor…….
The housing paper will be issued this weekend, as a sort of 4th of July special.
MGM shorts are getting their throats knifed today.
Good.
Ruthless. I like it
Shit, I was writing my own version of that self help book with nearly the same content…. Guess I should wrap it up and start my second self help book called “Life isn’t supposed to be easy you stupid cunts”.
Side Note: Apparently we both have large exposure to MGM… I love the smell of blood too.
MGM will crush all who stand in its way. Feel free to stop by the sidelines any time to vent on the erratic behavior of MGM Resorts International and have a beer. You likely already know how frustrating that stock is.