Finis

The Devil did it again, nailing the UNXL trade with Space Alien Magician precision. I didn’t have the stones to buy it; therefore my salutations are somewhat hedged with disdain for not making money on it.

Markets look safe for today, possibly setting up a niche trade for me. I have two ideas, spearheaded by a research report out this morning from an analyst who I respect. I’m sure you’d like to know the names; but you’re gonna have to wait until I am good and ready.

The Japanese carry trade is the driving force of the world now. Borrow Yen and buy Italian or Spanish debt. Why the hell not? The Yen goes lower every-single-day, making the money free!

Now the other side of that trade can disrupt things, no? Say, for example, there is a sudden spike in the Yen, to the tune of 10-15%. Should that happen, whatever these carry-trade bozos are buying will need to be liquidated ASAP. However, things are going swimmingly for now. My reservations on the markets are fueled by my desire for moderation, because I’m already +21% for the year. Plus, I’ve always said, from the 2nd week of January: “we’re going up until tax day.”

If that’s the case, this could be the last up week in the markets for a while–the grande finale. Finis.

Just about once per annum the market enters the Twilight Zone, as the disbelievers snatch the purses of the anointed and send markets lower. Over the years, we’ve witnessed a steady, almost methodical, walk down of volatility, partly due to the manipulative measures being practiced at the Federal Reserve. As such, we’ve enjoyed pornographic stock returns and the elimination of the “bear class.”

However, almost like groundhog’s day, the bears make an appearance once or twice per year to remind everyone that markets do in fact go down–on occasion.

I believe we are entering such a period, albeit a brief one. During the month’s of May and June, the lot of you will die in despair, tortured by mountainous market calamities. If my losses in VIX/VXX weren’t upwards of $5 million since 2010, I’d try my hand at it right now. However, due to the exogenous circumstances of my pervious VXX endeavors, I’ve reserved it for my annual Halloween costume only, mainly to scare the adults–sending them indoors.

In short, prepare for a miniature meltdown, which will correct (extra Mr. Grady) the lowest of the low among us and turn them into honest men again.

Volatility is cheap and it’s only going to get more expensive from here.

I can’t believe I am reading this. Not only am I disgusted by the contents of the article, I am deeply annoyed by Bloomberg’s ever-so-coy and clever headline.

Since when is a $3 million retirement account “Romney sized” as the two putzes, Richard Rubin and Margaret Collins, would like us to believe?

Romney is worth over $250 million and has $100 mill in his IRA, 33.3x times $3mill to be accurate. A man who worked his ass off for 30+ years, contributed to his 401k, then rolled it over into an IRA is not in the same league as the bane of Bane Capital, jackasses.

Never mind the soda jerkers from Bloomberg. How about this theft that is about to be proposed by our King, April 10th? They hope to raise $9 billion by fleecing retirement accounts of people who’ve been fortunate enough to save?

“Under current rules, some wealthy individuals are able to accumulate many millions of dollars in these accounts, substantially more than is needed to fund reasonable levels of retirement saving,” the statement said.

The most prominent taxpayer with a multimillion-dollar IRA is Romney, the 2012 Republican presidential nominee and co- founder of Bain Capital LLC. Romney disclosed in public filings during the campaign that his retirement account held between $18.1 million and $87.4 million. At one point, the maximum exceeded $100 million.

IRAs have evolved from a retirement-planning technique into an estate-planning tool for some wealthy families because tax laws allow the accounts to be passed on to heirs, said Ed Slott, an IRA specialist and certified public accountant based in Rockville Centre, New York.

‘Critical Mass’

“Over the last election it hit a critical mass when a lot of people found out that Romney had $100 million in his IRA,” Slott said. “People thought, how on earth did that happen? I think that was the tipping point.”

The Romney campaign didn’t explain how he amassed that much money in an IRA when contribution limits are much lower. Most taxpayers can contribute a maximum of $5,500 for 2013. Older workers, self-employed workers and those who save through 401(k)-style plans have higher caps and can roll those accounts into IRAs.

One possibility is that Romney included Bain investments valued at close to nothing that later grew exponentially. The value would increase tax-free in the retirement account and would be subject to taxation at ordinary income tax rates when taken out.

Democratic lawmakers, including Representatives Sander Levin of Michigan and George Miller of California, asked the Treasury Department last August to answer questions about large IRAs and to make policy recommendations.

And he smokes it ever so effortlessly.

The market attempted to crater today, but was halted (no nazi) and asked to kindly stop and about face. Although most stocks traded down, it hardly had the effect that the lardass bears wanted, which is a full fledged collapsed.

Dare I say, amidst easing from all central banks, it’s nearly impossible.

Nothing lasts forever, however, not even hard to understand patent troll plays (extra VHC).

For now, I am waiting, researching the shipping sector, hoping most collapse and begin scrapping their tonnage.

HDGE is my largest holding, paired with AG. I can add to both on days when I am feeling powerful. Today, I feel sort of milquetoast. Its been a long week and my beard is long. I am content to exit the week with my 21% YTD gains intact and a barrel filled with gunpowder, ready to start a war, literally (OSC) and figuratively.

I am like a vampire perched on top of a building, like a gargoyle, waiting for blood to flow through the streets. It’s not an easy thing to do, waiting for the market to crater. In other words, I am a vampire gargoyle.

I’ve predicted numerous pullbacks over the past 5 years, here on iBC. My best was the “correction” of biblical proportions in 2008-2009, and then my keenly timed oversized VXX position one week prior to the flash crash.

Last year I missed the correction by a week and paid dearly for it. This year I expect to be fooled, but ultimately correct.

This is hardly a pullback. Everyone is confident that Bernanke will bid up their shares again. However, they are forgetting earnings seasons and its onerous affects on stocks. Tax season is here and the federal government is as dumb as a box of pavers. Don’t expect anything extraordinary in the month of May through September. I know this will be a hard tape, one that requires stock picking abilities. You’re not going to be able to just mail it in anymore.

My largest positions are short AG, long HDGE. FRO, GNK, short JCP, short CCL, short PBR make up less than 20% of assets. The bulk of my interests lie in cash, about 60% of it. Try not to get twisted in knots, attempting to throw meatloaf at my person.

There is nothing you can say to me now, not ever, so don’t even try it.

For the day, I am up 0.1%.

Now to the subject at hand. I have my computers working overtime, without pay. They are placing stocks inside of my wishlist, as they decline and hit my targets. The end goal for me is to be long these names, just in time for a market turn.

The jobs report was bad, really bad. We’re living in a Tale of Two cities, absent the guillotines. There are people who live exorbitant lives and then others who scrape by off government assistance (PRSC)–stuck in the mud. At the same time, equity valuations are at their highest points ever, the ultimate kick to the nuts for the guy on furlough, trying to put his kids through college.

My HDGE is lifting as the market craters; but AG (I am short) is lifting too, with precious metals, because some retard forget to sell them this morning. I am also short JCP, CCL and PBR.

For me, even after another FRO cut, this is a 0% day, flat because I saw it coming.

Now some of you might be tempted to swim in the waters, trying to eat a little chum. Don’t be so easy to be lured into the shark infested waters. We have more downside left in this tape.

I’ve always been a strong swimmer, ever since I was a little boy. I could hold my breath for over a minute, traveling clandestinely underwater, like a russian submarine, only Irish/Italian. This market demands patience, so go chill out, eat a bunch of sandwiches, and avoid buying dips that are only going to dip some more.

The NIKKEI is ripping tits to the upside, more than 3.5% to the good. It’s going higher because the Bank of Japan has committed to a staggering $1.4 trillion asset purchasing program.

The whole world is a bitcoin. Get some.
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A few weeks ago a client of mine gave me an order to purchase 20,000 USG @29. It was right after I sold it for $30 and he was adamant that the price was going higher. After all, housing is back and sheetrock is necessary to build new homes.

I told him to “be patient like an elephant and to bide (mind you) his time.”

The stock dipped to $28.50 then went back to $29.5 (approximate values). He called me up to chastise why he didn’t get filled. He declared “you elephants don’t listen to instructions, yadda, yadda, yadda.”

In so many words, I asked him to “STFU (pause) and mind your own business.”

“Go play with your semiconductors and talk to someone who actually cares about your opinion in financial matters.”

I make it a point to avoid all tips and advice from clients. The last time I listened to a client I sold out of 500,000 SWHC at $7.75. The lows.

Since our exchange, USG has cratered amidst rumors of pricing problems and a slowdown in construction jobs. It’s all hyperbole. But my patience has saved this piker 70 grand.

Did he call me up to thank me?

Of course not. Ingrates are never wrong.

He merely commented that “sometimes it pays to be an elephant.”

I’ll be sure to charge him elephantine fees when it comes time to buy USG.

It was an all around bad day, for HORATIO CLAWHAMMER. After being elated with fresh 52 week lows this morning in both AG and JCP, they spring boarded higher–as degenerates shuffled into the 52 week low list, trying to bottom feed some crumbs from the gravel.

On top of that, my last remaining position of size, FRO, took another blow–as shipping rates continue to slide. They were going up for weeks, coinciding with share price recoveries. But now they’re heading lower again.

FRO is refusing some cargo because they are losing money on shipping goods. There are so many ships out there, pirates navigating the seas, the entire industry is going to bankrupt itself. It’s beyond absurd. Back in 2008, these clowns were getting paid over $200,000 per day: now they’ll be luck to get 10k. Nonetheless, some people think rates could be bottoming, as supply disappears due to broad ranging insolvency.

FRO locked up its financing and doesn’t have any near term maturities. Therefore, it’s a lotto ticket without risk of default, any time soon.

I’ll be watching rates ever so closely and keep you appraised if and when there is a sea-change (pun intended).

I was down 1.3% for the day, despite having 60% in cash.

Some of you are beguiled by the seemingly downward spiral in the shipping sector, following my brazen FRO and GNK purchases. As if my declaration of “wanting a quick and expeditious bankruptcy in the name, so that the shares can move higher” wasn’t warning enough for the small amount of grey matter floating around in your skull.

I’ve always said, from the second I bought FRO, it was a hardcore, almost pornographic, degenerate gambler play. Since then, the stock is down 10%, amidst a general market correction. As a result, you’ve bankrupted yourself again.

Geez.

Don’t look now, but the market is trying to make me look bad, after penning such dire predictions in a previous post. As such, the lowest of the low sector on earth, the boats, are attempting to lift out from the morass of sucking.

OSGIQ is leading the charge! (LOL)

Other notable movers are FREE, VLCCF, TK, DCIX, DSX and SB.

One week returns are dreadful, most in the double digits. However, if you look at the space over 1-6 months, you will find outperformance.

In short, stop being a pansy ass and accept responsibility for your own decisions. When playing the lottery, do you get mad and throw a hissy fit, like a small girl, when your numbers aren’t chosen?

Today’s top industries are ridiculous ones: electronics retailers and silver. People are plowing money into BBY and nefarious silver miners as if the year was 2006 and the flat screen had just broken through the middle class ranks.

Let’s see the market for what it is and what it’s going to be.

Barely 50% of stocks are up today and we’ve given back the rally–as all indices are now lower.

The dollar is up, TLT is up and commodities are decidedly lower. This is no longer a “long only” market, but one that you should fear.

For the love of God, people are buying Bitcoins to make money, not to preserve wealth. We’ve hit the apex of speculation and can go no more.

I am officially bearish on the markets, with a net bearish position, no longer interested in hedging–but making money on the downside. There is a distinction between the two. The majority of my cash (60%) will remain idle, as the market corrects. There will be moments of weakness, where I jump in prematurely, so know that in advance.

If I am right, the market meanders in a tight range until late April, then drops off the table in May for a 5%+ decline, exacerbated by further losses in June.

But remember, there is nothing wrong with a little correction. We need to nourish the tree of the markets with the blood of the moronic trader.