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Markets PLUNGED, down 135 NASDAQS. I bought a bunch of SHIT into the bell, hoping for some respite. The balance of my portfolio was in OLD MAN STOCKS and bonds heading into the maelstrom. I, in fact, won — good sir.

I will now proceed to tour this hotel with my COVID-19 mask on and attempt to find some peace and quiet, and perhaps quietude and equanimity, if that’s all right with the Mrs.

Stocklabs beta is now within a month. Sign up for trial.

Greetings and salutations

I stand before you a most joyous man. The stocked market has done nothing but trade up, which has permitted me to feeeeeeel like a genius. In turn, I’m now plotting to do things I’ve never dreamed before. The money isn’t the big change, see, but the mere occurrence of genius. Why, I can predict the future, read minds, look into a digitized screen and see the matrix.

Getting chills up your spine? That’s just a glitch in the matrix. See, since we’re in a simulation, nothing matters, nothing at all. Our fates are twisted like a genetic helix and we’re all just microbes bumping into one another causing chain reactions.

When I was a boy, I loved Xmas. The specter of a morbidly obese man barging into my apartment with a sack filled with toys made me feeeeeeeel good. Nowadays, being able to waste inordinate money and be the fucker with a sack filled with toys makes me feeeeeeeel good too. But my kids aren’t kids anymore and they want clothes and electronics. The pagan holidays just aren’t the same without toys.

At any rate, I wanted to wish all a most joyous occasion. Be sure to drink merrily and eat heartily and always remember someone is watching you. The world is getting smaller by the day and your actions could

When flying under the black flag, enemy combatants are not to be afforded safe quarter. Surrenders or retreats are not acceptable to the attacking army and will expeditiously extinguish any semblance of the defeated enemy — cured only thru death. What we are boring witness to now in the markets, with the NASDAQ off by another 150, is the complete destruction of the Tik Tok investor cadre — the dumb bitches who believe AMC is going to $2,000 or at a bare minimum $1,000.

I look forward to seeing these people and their dead bodies strewn out across the battlefield, as I trot heavily on my horse sticking pikes into those still alive.

We are in margin call territory now and the losses can get MORE SEVERE. However dreadful, I am always reminded of the countless times the market has pulled rabbits out from its ass and therefore hold 1 position, an upside biotech ETF — because nothing says “end of days” like being levered into an ETF betting on companies of a fictitious quality one could only hope the pandemic sticks around for a little while longer in order to juice these fuckers on hope.

Busy in Boston today, too busy to partake in trading. Normally speaking, when I am on vacation the markets crash, so bad I want to cry. But this time is different because I am leaving my daughter behind, so the Gods have blessed me with wanton returns.

I just bought a bunch of stuff, all PINNED TO HIGHS, using the Stocklabs time machine apparatus. I left 25% cash, just in case, and will now parlay about the city in search of sustenance.