TRUMP GIVES THE SINGLE BEST VICTORY SPEECH EVER, LAYS WASTE TO HIS ENEMIES

This was single handedly the best victory speech ever given in the history of politics. Trump, with the most Presidential flair since the days of Lincoln, laid waste to all of his naysayers, leveling the specious arguments of all, especially Catchers Mitt Romney.

There were so many great things about this work of moveable art, I cannot name them all. Here were some of my favorite parts.

Trump brought out the Trump steaks, water, vodka and wine, all companies that were declared dead by Romney. Trump, in very Presidential and C-level exec fashion, DESTROYED THE FABRIC OF BEING THAT IS MITT ROMNEY.

Fuck you, Mexico; you’re paying for the wall.

Look at all of my products. I own them all, without debt. They are worth many, many millions of dollars–including Trump University.

I WILL SLAY THE DRAGON BEAST HILLARY CLINTON IN SINGLE COMBAT.

Come on. No one does it better.

All expensive polling data had the bitch winning by leaps and bounds in the bankrupt state of Michigan.

Lo and behold, with 30% in, B. Sanders has the lead.

Im sure the DNC is freaking out now, throwing gallons of milk around the office, having a regular fit about the whole ordeal.

Rubio almost landed zero percent of the votes in Mississippi, yet believes he should be the one to contest Trump at the convention.

I wouldn’t buy a Cuban cigar from Rubio. The guy is a 5 time loser and Cruz talks to shadows, fucking nuts.

Trump triumphs in the oily state, in magnanimous fashion, with pomp and certitude.

It appears M. Rubio’s great fortune from the island of Puerto Rico did not spill into the completely worthless state of Michigan.

With about 1% of polls in, Crazy Kasich and Trump are tied for the lead, while Marco plays the fat guy at the end of the bar in single digits.

To quote a great man: “A loser is a loser and you’re going out. Good father? Fuck you; go home and play with your kids.”

Just when you thought the guacamole and chips were safe to traverse freely, another pestilence strikes at the beards of hipsters everywhere.

The conduit?

Chipotle Mexican grill.

A Chipotle restaurant in Billerica has temporarily closed after one of its workers was diagnosed with norovirus.

One of the store’s workers has a confirmed case of norovirus, according to the town’s health department. The remaining two workers are suspected of having the virus.

The are no reports of any customers becoming ill. The city’s health department says the restaurant voluntarily shut down on Tuesday.

Workers are sanitizing the restaurant.

The state Department of Public Health has been notified, according to the Billerica Health Department

Expect a phone call from your grandmother tomorrow, warning you to avoid the eatery. Share are getting rocked in the after hours.

The upside is once Trump gets elected and erects the wall that Mexico is going to pay for, you won’t have to worry about any of this Mexican culture again. The country will be summarily cleanesed from it. Someone should open up an Apple pie eatery.

It’s all fun and games until your stock drops 15%, just because it can.

This is the prime reason why I’ve opted to forgo common stock trading for 2016, in favor of a methodically disciplined trading program using the Exodus algorithms.

These are the sort of losses you don’t walk away from. You fucking die because of them.

I think the market got ahead of itself over the past two week, with gains in sectors that deserve to be liquidated. I could see the S&P grounding itself after a quick 5% pullback, then grind higher until the end of April.

Don’t make a mountain out of a mole hill.

While the energy sector was off by an astounding 9% today, it’s still higher by 30% from two weeks ago. I will not permit the emotions of the day cloud my judgement. This was an arduous day for longs, a good one for bonds and utilities. Aside from that, it’s only one day and that doesn’t forge a trend.

Tonight’s primaries might stoke things a bit, especially if Trump lands a knockout blow to the catamite, Marco Rubio.

Just yesterday the stock was hitting 6 mo highs. Today it’s eating gravel.

Via Briefing.com

CAT noted that 2016, overall, is similar to the second half of 2015. They have seen no big changes relative to the second half so they expect 2016 to follow their typical seasonal pattern of a weaker Q1 and Q3 and a stronger Q2 and Q4.

Oil and mining are the weakest businesses for the company. These businesses typically have the largest backlog for CAT, which speaks to the decline in their backlog.

In China, the company thinks that what is happening with their economy ‘makes sense.’ They do not think that you can drive an economy that big that fast with only fixed capital investments.

CAT is generally ‘okay’ with the shift to a consumer lead economy that the country is trying to make. That being said, they did note that demand has come down in China, although it seems to be stabilizing.

With CAT, a strengthening dollar impacts sales negatively but is typically a net neutral impact on profits as costs fall. The company does not expect for FX to have a material impact on profits Y/Y.

This stock deserves to be lower, if there is such a thing.

Whitney Tilson covered his LL short back in December. Almost immediately, the stock surged ahead on a deal with the FTC that only turned out to be fake.

Long are now entreated by news that Tilson is short again and this time is out for blood. In a mind numbing 132 page thesis explaining why Lumber Liquidators is a horrible company, Tilson suggests the specter of cancer causing wood is likely to cripple the company and possibly lead to its bankruptcy.

Subsequently, LL is plunging.

Here are a few key pages of the Kase capital report.

I don’t see how this company can survive, given the news that their wood can in fact cause cancer. Who the hell would buy this stock?

A few random notes.

The bubble basket of high valuation stocks in Exodus is up 9% over the past two weeks, off more than 2% today.

My prime barometer of risk, TWDFM (these will definitely fuck me) are getting smoked today, but up sharply over the past two weeks.

The FANG stocks have been grossly underperforming, up just 1% over the past two weeks. They’ve played second fiddle to the Renaissance found in low brow reflation stocks.

The market is smartly reallocating out of the fast trades, the bullshit dead cat bounces, and into companies of substance. As you can see by the graphic above, FANG is vastly outperforming today. This is undeniable in its bullish meaning for stocks and should provide succor for asset allocators who opt to purchase real companies over fading stars.