Believe Me Now

I have the sense of humor that keeps people on edge. No one really knows when I am joking or serious. The truth is, “The Fly” is in a constant state of comedic relief. The blog is great because it allows me to put the world inside of a fished tank–for my amusement. Sometimes I feed the tank garbage, just to see what happens. Other times I feed it the highest quality food money could buy, yet the fish don’t bite.

If you’re new to iBankCoin, welcome to my domain. Feel free to walk around the halls, but be mindful of others, especially the host. While walking around, do not be alarmed if the lights suddenly black out, or a pack of hungry wild pit bulls are let loose to roam.

Humor is everything. Without it, life is boring.

That being said, why is everyone so dramatic over the market decline? Do you really think I am waiting for a market crash?

PFFFFFFFFFFFF.

If your margin call came tomorrow, via magnanimous market decline, sure I’d buy it; but I’m not planning for it. I’ve been trading stocks since the early 90’s. The majority of you plebs were falling out of trees when I was planning my empire. Relax, especially when I call for market drops.

The market isn’t ever going down, at least in my lifetime. There will be brief periods of pause. But, ultimately, it’s a zero ledge world– meaning: we can’t drop.

Free money forever. The Federal Reserve shotgun will put grape into the faces of all who get in their way.

That being said, we’re still going down in May.

Y

Poof! Your never-ending bull market is officially over.

-Merlin

Apologies may be left in the comments section of this post.

TLT has just marched from $114 to $124, without fanfare or untoward publicity. The Yen has rebounded and is starting to gain some upward momentum. At the same time, the SPY continues to hit new highs, all the while the jobs market and earnings come in less than stellar.

I’ve always been a huge advocate, almost to the point of worship, of the Federal Reserve–Benjamin “Blunt Smokin'” Bernanke and his miraculous beard. I was always at the forefront, reminding people what POMO meant for stocks and how a little cocaine never killed anyone, when applied to the markets of course. But even legends such as Ben need a day off, in this case a single month.

Yes, everyone thinks the market will trade down in May; therefore, as all laws of contrarian opinion go, the markets shall rise again. But what about the 6 month winning streak for the SPY? Surely, if the market is up for 6 straight months, there must be some “excess speculative fervor”, no?

According to the laws (don’t shoot the messenger) of seasonality, it doesn’t matter what you think or say. The month of May is siesta time for policy makers. It’s the time of year everyone long stocks finds God, begging for his forgiveness, so that he may grant respite.

I, myself, am a victim today, long both AMBA and RBCN into the sharpest of teeth. My largest position is cash; but I haven’t a solitary hedge. Therefore, it goes without saying, I am losing my shirt today. But there’s a certain feeling of exhilaration in today’s rout, one that demotivates me from acting in favor of watching.

So I shall watch, as the rats scurry about–in search for more cheese. In the meantime, 80% of stocks are lower today. The tape is much worse than the indices suggest.

Losses are mounting on Wall Street, as the diabolical calendar month called “May” makes itself known. As is tradition with the month of “May”, investors “go away” and the stock market does very poorly. Naturally, there will be some trouble makers who refuse to “go away,” loitering about the lobby, attempting to break into the safe. But those people will be punished, ever so harshly.

Evacuate the premised immediately.

“The Devil” is buying CALL today, off the EBIX buyout. Apparently, the penis grabbers over at Copperfield Research, via Seeking Alpha, were short EBIX into a leveraged buyout. They’re so damned stupid. Weren’t they the bozos who were shorting TEA into an already announced ALL CASH buyout from SBUX?

Well, apparently, they are secretly short CALL too, or so goes the rumor. So, as Wall Street would have it, the wolves are at their doorstep, trying to afflict pain and misery onto their already ravaged book.

Other than that, I’m just watching RBCN get its arms and legs blown off on no news.