Wake Up SEC: It’s $TVIX Time

I’ve been out all day on business. Pardon my absence.

I will leave my market opinions for a later post. For this one, I want to discuss the criminality that is TVIX.

It’s not all right that this publicly traded fraud mechanism is down 30% whilst volatility is up. I understand the whole reversion to the NAV aspect of TVIX. But let’s call a spade a spade, this thing wasn’t planned properly and as a result, investors lost a tremendous amount of money in it.

Credit Suisse should not be given a pass just because there are disclosures attached. And to the people who say “oh, anyone who bought this without doing research deserves it” should be flushed down giant toilet bowls for talking shit.

This thing has was trading up when volatility was down. How is an investor supposed to know that today was armageddon for the product? That sort of thinking is devoid of reason and undeserving of further discussion.

Here’s what I propose happens: the SEC gets off their asses, trying to nail high profile hedge fund managers or piker penny stock operators and go after the fuckers who invented this TVIX abomination.

Investors deserve better than this shit; and people who fuck up on this type of scale should shovel shit for a few years.

Asshats.

Let’s just hope people weren’t paying attention to that bad, bad, bad Chinese data.

I have to be somewhere in about 1 hour, so this will be brief. Retail sensitive names, like JWN and BID, seem to be shrugging off the fucktarded Chinese data. However, the same cannot be said about the basic materials, who are getting smashed for a 3rd consecutive day. All in all, I am pleased with my new positions, sans RS and AKS. Nonetheless, it is our duty to have faith in THE BEARDED CLAM, with hopes of more printing press sensationalism.

In al seriousness, the most likely scenario to play out will be my original thesis of black smoke and depression strewn across the globe. I knew it the second I capitulated on VXX. But VXX is a magnanimously asinine product to begin with, so I feel no sense of remorse for parting with that shit. Commodities are lower, as well as commodity related stocks due to fears that everything isn’t paved with gold in the Orient. Now if you believe last night’s data was wrong, today is your dip. Or, if you feel the data is just a precursor to progressively worse data, today is the day you cut losses and head for the hills.

For now, I am holding firm.

A few months back I created a watchlist inside of The PPT and discussed the resurgence in housing, here on this very blog. I pointed to a group of stocks that were climbing higher and pondered “could this be it?” Back then I was invested in BZH, TEX, MTW, LPX, MAS, LEN and USG, truly ignoring the KARL’S of the world, executing trades for profit. But, like many things over the past year, I let a good idea get away from me and exchanged my shares for fear.

Let’s see how my fucking watchlist did since then.

There is momentum, no? Do my eyes deceive me or is USG and all of the homebuilders hitting new highs?

Housing may have bottomed. As a matter of fact, I am fairly certain it has bottomed, which is why I am swapping my house for another. All we need is the jobs market to firm up and we’ll have ourselves a fucking super-cycle in housing, offering boons to derivative plays.

Do not ignore what is right in front of your fucking faces. Get off your fat asses and hustle for something innovative. Find “the next one to go.” I realize the market is up a lot and we are overdue for a correction. But, let’s face it, this is a roaring bull market. I was stupid to sit on the fence for so long, watching all of the retards make money–as I sat sipping sugarless lemonade.

Well, it’s my turn now fuckfaces. My game starts now with TDC, YELP, CPST, RS, AKS, JWN, EXK and BID.

Oh, that’s not enough? I got a lotta more for you, fool (No Clubber Lang).

Please don’t humiliate yourselves with uneducated critiques of YELP. Let me remind you of past critiques of CMI @ $45, MNST @$20, BWLD @$35, FOSL at $70, LULU at $45, GMCR @ $25, FTK @ $1, NFLX @ $79, WNR @$12, GSVC $12 etc. The list goes on and on and on, ad nauseam. Let me explain something to you, pal, you know absolutely nothing about stocks. Your expertise extends to a few lines and dots and some graph paper, charting out your moving averages, trying to find the next “breakout.”

“The Fly” does not base his decisions on charts or on the opinions of retarded analysts. My research derives from outerspace, while taking tea breaks, sitting near my orbital space cannon.

Naturally, I do not speak to all of you, so don’t take offense if you are a gentleman with a top hat. But for the old fuckers with commodore computers talking shit about YELP, ooh, I’m gonna rip your jaw from your fucking faces. I will underwrite vicious violence upon your person should you continue to talk shit about my stocks, in my house. Take your jargon elsewhere, Sir; for not only is it not desired, it is deplored!

I started positions in JWN and BID today, ahead of the spring auction season. And, as you know, I bought more YELP.

Look for the faces of the bears to get weazened in the coming days and weeks ahead. I shall continue my belligerent assaults on the markets, without reservation, and most certainly without pause.

I started positions in BID and JWN and added to YELP.

I promised myself when GMCR hit OVERSOLD, inside The PPT, I’d go long again. Well, not only did it register OS yesterday, but the lowest score ever at 0.75. Lo and behold today SBUX expands their relationship with GMCR, sending the stock soaring. Fuck me running sideways with a television up my ass; I should have been in that stock yesterday.

In the next iteration of PPT, I will make sure there are alert settings to remind me of my favorite set ups. In a world with thousands of quality stocks to choose from, it’s hard to remember everything. I try to expand my horizon all the time, trying out new things, exploring different aspects of life so that I can make intelligent decisions based upon experience and not from a text book.

Today is an important day in the music world, not because RICK “fat as fuck” ROSS is buying a new Bentley, but because it is Bach’s birthday. We celebrate one of the greatest minds in music today, 327 years from his date of birth, as if he was born 50-60 years ago. That’s what I call leaving behind a legacy, being remembered after death–  hundreds of years later–with people talking about you as if you were still alive.

Perhaps that is what Ben Bernanke had in mind when he saved the world from despair and depression, in exchange for unfettered joy and elation, through stock market madness. A true maestro.

You bears got trucked over by the AAPL-mobile, once again. Very shortly, you will all lose your minds and properly herded into “insane coliseums” for thorough reeducation. We’re not trading down; I’ll bet my fucking eyeballs on it.

With the market down a solid 70, VXX dropped like a fucking stone again. Now that I’ve realized my annual 6 fig loss in the bitch, I can move on with a free will and an open mind to unfettered winshippery. My favourite stock, by far, is YELP. Now, just like TEA, I’m not crazy about the valuation. But, long term, both will trade significantly higher. If you find yourself believing in the drivel disseminated by “would be bears” on those names, laugh at them and throw stones at their windows, for they are fucktards of the first order, well deserving of insolvency and to be casted out by society.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBfKXHoSvDM

I added to my YELP position.

Interesting tidbit on the TIF beat: I alluded to this several weeks ago, regarding a Sterne Agee research note that pointed to a 92% correlation between TIF sales to stock market returns. In other words, they made the case for a TIF beat based solely upon the strength of the stock market. It actually makes a lot of common sense to me, especially because they are a luxury retailer. Not as impressive, but 2nd and 3rd on the list, was ANN and TLB. Food for thought.

The market has stabilized since this morning’s dumpout, led by the financials–now up 0.3%. A lot of stocks on my screen are still red; but some have managed to reverse course and head higher. Although I’d like to believe we’ve seen the days lows, I will not be committing new capital unless we get a steeper correction. I am interested in buying more YELP and starting position in both JWN and BID.

One sector bucking the trend are the ag stocks. I don’t know why. However, we’re heading into the planting season, so my money is on the shenanigans of the fucking farmers. Perhaps those greedy bastards are trading on some insider knowledge that there isn’t gonna be enough food for the world this summer and we’re all gonna starve to death. That would be glorious news for “ag plays.”

Personally, I like my positions here and glad to be rid of that disaster VXX. If forced to choose via shotgun to my head, I’d say YELP is going much higher and soon. Aside from the fact that YELP has 66 million users and is one of the more useful social media companies publicly traded, I find it indispensable. There have been a few occasions where I’ve taken a personal liking to products, only to see their share prices take off without me.

Off the top of my head, I loved the products of the following companies, but failed to hold onto the shares: MNST, BWLD, CMG, PNRA, AAPL, GMCR, WFM etc.

Bottom line: YELP is a fucking winner; you just don’t know it yet.

Many of you pole-smokers have already blamed my reentry into stocks as the key catalyst for the market trading lower this morning, as if the Gods were waiting for that very moment to drop anvils on investors. In many respects, you are all children, with weak brains and even weaker souls. You baby gorillas need to stop viewing things on a minute by minute basis; it truly is astoundingly idiotic.

For example: does anyone here think that I am somehow dissuaded from the market because futures are lower this morning? Really? I’m fucking nuts, remember that. Pardon the tone, as it may come off as sheepishly defensive, but I am not moved by a minor setback in equities. Remember the whole “cold water phobia” explanation that I illuminated for you yesterday?

Yes, indeud, I had to buy yesterday, even if it meant undergoing a drawdown.

So, as you sit there in your pleather chair from SPLS, savoring in the taste of this mornings blood, just know that I hate you and have designs to murder you though unorthodox means. This isn’t a game anymore and your life is in grave danger of ending farcically.

Aside from this morning’s restive mood, have faith in the super-human beings who’ve been buoying stocks for many months to come through, yet again, with more generous offerings. Any dip is, naturally, a buying opportunity. Having said that, if you are betting against the absurd, you are only setting up for ridicule later on.

I have plenty of cash and will use it to buy any meaningful decline.