Prepare to be Surprised!

If you take anything from my blogs, heed my warnings over a cup of boiling hot tea. While drinking the tea, preferably Earl Grey (preferred beverage of all gentlemen, east of Kansas), recall my message in its entirety, not my inane tweets or rapid fire blog posts.

Here are the cliff notes:

• The market is being led around by the daily fluctuations of the Euro.
• Due to detrimental debt concerns, coupled with austerity measures in Europe, the market needs to reprice equities.
• Just because the market is supposed to go lower doesn’t mean it will.
• I have ZERO shorts on my books, but 28% of assets in [[VXX]] .
• I strongly suggest a hedged approach to this market, due to the nonsensical mannerisms of recent trading.
• Day trading is for birds. Think bigger and longer term; God will smile upon you for it.

Today’s reversal was impressive, led by gains in the euro. Nevertheless, I’m not buying into this shit, as I happen to travel through time via time machines and have knowledge of what is coming. Regardless of what you think, sentiment is different now. For a long, long time, we went up, uninterrupted, thanks to improvements in global trade. While all of that is true, ask yourself, what the fuck are the following “global growth” stocks telling us?

Top picks: Eastman Chemical Company [[EMN]] , [[VXX]]

We’re going back to test the “flash crash” lows, AND MORE. The magic term for you little ham and eggers is “austerity” and how it pertains to raping consumerism. You are watching deflation take hold in Europe, right before your stupid eyes; and you will see that same thing happen here, as states raise taxes and cut back on spending. After all, it’s their constitutional duty.

To be clear, I am not arguing against the Jakegint’s of the world, for the inflation story is most certainly still on the table. I just think, before we get to that, we’re gonna get to this.

Nevertheless, I am not interested in getting overly aggressive on the downside. I just don’t feel like shorting and putting my stomach through the meat grinder. At this moment in time, for me, a hedged approach is my best bet. If that means riding POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] and Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] down every day, so be it. My discipline is much more than you can understand, mainly because of my “big game” thinking.

I treat my stocks, like a general treats a private in a war. They are all little “nothings” to me,  placed to serve my best interests. A downward spiraling stock, like POSCO (ADR) [[PKX]] , may not be for you. However, for me, I need to own that fucker when the market rebounds, for its rebound will tear the tits off short sellers.

In summary, I’m handing out mental beat downs, at Le Office de Le Fly. Come get some.

NOTE: By the way, bring your margin liquidations too. I am most interested in buying them from you.

UPDATE: I sold out of ON Semiconductor Corp. [[ONNN]] @ $7.59.

With European futures pointing “full retard with tilted head” lower, I look forward to buying your margin liquidations shortly. Always remember, while many of you get “imax’d then Tivo’d in the markets, “The Fly” is cloaked in darkness with a whole battery of large artillery cannons pointed at your bullshit lawn. I spit on your lawn, as I stroll by your residence.

Following a long weekend at Hershey, PA, I can tell you, first hand, people from PA are still broke as fuck. While driving past some of these people, decked out in Jesus clothes, I told  Mrs. Fly “do not feel sorry for them. They are poor because they are sinners and deserve to live a life of hardship.” While none of that shit was true, I did like the tone of my demeanor/cadence and how it shocked Mrs. Fly’s friends into stoic silence.

As for the markets: go look up my predictions for 2010 (I am too lazy to link), for they are spot on, so far—even regarding the comedic events in Thailand.

In short, instead of giving you “tonnes” of reasons explaining why we will destroy ourselves for the second time in so many years, feel solace in knowing,  it is assured and we are becoming quite efficient at it.

LONNNNNG [[VXX]] like tits in prison.

UPDATE: George4title (for some reason, I watch almost every George yootoob vid) from the YOUTOOB has a new documentary out: MELT UP. Worth a looksy.

The epic saga continues, with the untimely demise of a Mr. Samsonite Hamburgalar

I’ve been right here, watching you fuckers squirm, the whole time. Sort of creepy, no? I left the “black smoke” blog up, so that you could read it again and again and again. Sometimes it’s important to appreciate quality, not quantity. Today is one of those days.

While I may chastise the likes of Jim Cramer, for unveiling his “5 generals of the stock exchange,” mainly because he’s a jackass, I appreciate the sentiments. The fact of the matter is, the BAILOUT HAS ALREADY FAILED because it has to fail. The EU saying they will pony up a trill is like you saying “I’m gonna make a blog and supplant iBankCoin”—not happening pal.

I will have you know, I am not making a killing today, aside from my personal account—which is up gangbusters. So far, my accounts are up about 0.5% for the day, led by big dicked gains in none other than [[VXX]] . I warned you about my time machine, The PPT, with respects to the OVERBOUGHT nature of the market, Unfortunately, you chose to look the other way. May your life be afflicted by 1,000 arbs and scribble-scrabbled u-4’s.

In short, the black smoke is now permeating the floor of the exchange. Take a step back and breathe it all in, for you are now in the “choke zone,” bewildered from all of the stupid things that you do.

NOTE: A special Friday Treat: I will unveil my weekend cartoon today.

Indeud, gentlemen, I am in possession of a time machine. Some of you know it for its commercial use, named The PPT. However, there is much more behind the veiled curtain, reserved only for upper management. While most you are busy, concerning yourselves with “circle jerking” around “leadership” stocks, the FUCKING WORLD IS COLLAPSING AROUND YOU. If you would take your big, stupid, fat face out from your coffee mugs and look around, you will not like what you see.

For example: the euro is being liquidated in an unseemly fashion. Sure, the media is preparing us well for the event that it goes to “par” versus the dollar. Well, HELLO ASSHOLES, that’s 30% lower from today. Do any of you chart fuckers realize how that would affect U.S. exporters?

Who cares? I’m fucking wasting my time and I know it. No one wants to hear this “zero hedging” bullshit, unless of course you eat live fish heads for dinner accompanied by some lukewarm human blood. I know, it’s disgusting, 10,000 apologies for that rant. But, the point remains intact, you’re all playing inside of a sandbox littered with flesh eating grass hoppers (sorry, I can’t help myself).

Hey, if it makes you feel any better, for all of the shit I am talking, I’m still down 0.001% today, amidst heavy (so fucking heavy, man) selling in some of my longs. Sometime soon, I will dump all said longs and join the wolf pack, in order to rip your fucking limbs off from your bullshit torso.

Top pick: [[VXX]]

UPDATE: Due to a late surge in Flotek Industries, Inc. [[FTK]] , I was up 0.3% today. So sorry.

Thirty year mortgage rates are at a new 52 week low, 4.93%, and home builder stocks are being poleaxed due to a record amount of fucked up loans. I understand what the ECB and Fed are trying to accomplish, via inflation, but to me the main threat is still deflation. It’s hard to argue for deflation, amidst record gold and high oil prices; but I’m gonna do so anyway.

All of the fucked up toxic loans on the banks balance sheets are being masked with insidious accounting standards. On top of the mortgage debt, banks are now crippled with massive sovereign debt threats, which will undoubtedly make them tighten the screws on lending. While it’s true, it’s rather easy to modify your loan if you are a dead beat. It’s rather difficult to get a new mortgage, if you are an honest tax paying citizen. So, my question to you is this: aside from stock market reflation, how is the liquidity getting into the system? Tell me. From my vantage point, the liquidity is being used to plug holes at the banks, enabling them to enjoy record spreads, while sacrificing the baby boomer at the altar of artificially low interest rates.

They are trying to do something that is unprecedented and I am not sure it will work, due to the mounting risks.

If inflation was truly a risk, wouldn’t [[TLT]] be a lot lower by now?

I will be the first one to tell you, I am confused. If anyone tells you otherwise, they are either too naive to see things in 3-d or are lying to you.

Back during the dot com era, when I was pissing on the old guys in the boardroom for warning me of imminent collapse, I thought the run up would last forever. When the shit hit the fan, my assets under management were at all time highs and I was booking my biggest commission month of my career. The moral of this short story: shit always looks the best when it is about to die sans organic creatures and shit.

Don’t wait for doom to smack  you in the face with a bag of cocks; use some protection against said cocks.

By the way, my boy Scott Bleier is on fucking fire, with his show and newsletter. If you need a little hand holding, do yourself a favour [sic], sign up for his newsletter. He’s dead on with the “flash crash” with regards to stop losses. What happened last week is no different than an armed robbery of a bank. Just in this case, the bank was you. They pretty much flushed out all of the below market stops and likely flipped them for handsome profits, all part and parcel of re-liquifying the banks. How is it possible for the banks to book PERFECT trading quarters?

Answer: collusion.

In other news, the euro, [[FXE]] , is getting APED RAPED as we speak. As we speak, men in fancy pants are selling euros and buying art. To be honest, I don’t blame them. After all, a Picasso will always retain value, no matter what. If the euro collapses and a new currency is born, Mr. Fancy Pants can sell his collection of Picasso painting for lots of new/baby currency.

Anyway, my algorithms tell me we are due for a pullback. Even still, barring a big upside move, I will probably keep my allocation as is, in order to keep a low beta profile. For the love of dirty cellphones and tainted sugar, this market is too fucked up to trust.

In short, keep your eyeballs glued to the screen, for your life may depend on it, indeud.

We’ve been launching new features on The PPT every other week. As you know, we launched a sick search function, whereby you can cross reference any company description keyword with our analytic engine. For example: users can cross reference “blowout preventers” with % of shares sold short and come up with this:

The use of this search tool is powerful and dips into user created notes as well, offering a large array of keyword Godliness.

Starting today, we launched an automated OVERBOUGHT/OVERSOLD indicator, that will alert users of possible tops and bottoms. The PPT‘s job is to try to identify stocks that are breaking out. However, as you well know, some stocks are prime sales/buys at their highest/lowest points. For example, look at the overall hybrid PPT chart, which highlights OVERBOUGHT/OVERSOLD conditions.

That chart represents the highest and lowest overall hybrid scores in PPT recorded history. We did not concoct this chart to fit our needs. It’s as real as wooden nukes in Russia, AND MORE. Pretty impressive, eh? Granted, it’s not perfect, but pretty fucking good. Well, we are now providing this service, free of charge for all subscribers, on an individual stock/ETF basis. How accurate is it?

Answer: pretty fucking accurate, to the point that I am flabbergasted. To this day, truth be told, I still have reservations about trusting the readings of The PPT. I use it all the time and have made millions of dollars using the tools. But, I am a very opinionated person, with a big dick and even larger balls. Nevertheless, slowly but surely, I am adhering to the laws of mathematical precision, due to its undeniable sublime nature.

Here is sneak peak at tonight’s OVERBOUGHT/OVERSOLD list (note: there are 196 overbought readings, technically)

The only oversold reading is  [[IDN]] . Coming soon: seasonality engine: automated.

Terrific market action today, with just about everything going gangbusters, even Goldman Sachs Group, Inc. [[GS]] . With Cisco Systems, Inc. [[CSCO]] reporting close to 40 billion in cash, look for the company to make some acquisitions. I have some ideas and will share them, whenever the fuck I get around to it.

The way I am positioned now, I am “safe,” meaning the beta of my accounts are very low—due to the long equities/volatility structure of my portfolios. My near term strategy entails bulking up on longs, then liquidating them into strength. It doesn’t matter what I think: the market is too busy sucking its own cock to look up at the guy ready to strike it with a clawhammer to the brain.

NOTE: For the day, I was down 0.3%