Well, this isn’t fun. Seems like going to cash was the right course of action. Seems like it…

Sadly, if you’ve been following, I did not go to cash.

But still, I wait. I wait because $1 trillion free dollars can’t be wrong. Our markets can collapse after that. Or maybe they don’t collapse at all? Maybe they just stay where they are while the real economy fumbles and craters? That’s an option, after all. Ben pulls a fast one and leaves you all befuddled.

Mind you, most of my own positioning is tied up in POS stocks like CCJ, BAS, and RGR. Sure, I love a good distressed buy. They’re my absolute favorite. I love getting socked in the teeth to the tune of 30% in between 40% rallies. And having psycopaths at the HuffPost, Brady Campaign, anti-nuclear proliferation activists, and Matt Damon slobbering over themselves in a quest to destroy perfectly reasonable and productive activity for wild-eyed, long shot chances at actually improving the world.

It. Is. So. Awesome.

As 2013 runs to a close, I wish suffering on all of you. This world is increasingly not big enough for all of us, and so I say, may the next one of you to suggest it would be better for Cain Hammond Thaler to live in Detroit without a gun be gang raped by knife wielding maniacs.

Dicks…

Seriously, shut up about the damn Mayans already. Last I checked, they were a culture of people so ‘advanced’ they were enslaved by the first people to interact with them that possessed gun powder.

Didn’t see that one coming, did they?

Here’s the only thing you need know about tomorrow. Tomorrow will look much like today. I’ll be lounging in a chair in my 9th floor office, getting rich as hell taking the stocks you are selling so terrified.

“The US is gone.” “Deepwater drilling is done.” “Nuclear energy is over.” “Iran is gonna destroy trade.” “Guns will be banished.” “The world is ending.”

Jesus Christ…shut the fuck up already.

Do you realize my brand new RGR position is up 12% in two days?

How is that fair? But it’s all possible because you squeamish clowns can’t hold your composure.

Get a grip already.