Now that Apple has announced the iPhone7 and the 2nd-gen Apple Watch, we can once again sit back and watch the hysteria surrounding the event.
No, I am not talking about the fanatical devotion seen at Apple Stores around the world (especially Asia), with nutcases camping out on sidewalks for three days, living on Pringles, beer and dried sardines – and (one can only assume) pissing and pooping in plastic bags, just to be the first to have a new smartphone.
I am speaking about the hundreds if not thousands of asshole journalists and bloggers who cravenly write clickbait articles designed to generate three cents a click to add to their meager bank accounts and/or garner their share of followers on Twitter.
These missives run the gamut from Tim Cook hit pieces (never mind the enormous cash flow generated under his watch) to lame screeds from junior analyst clowns on Marketwatch. Only with Apple, will selling out your product on the first day be seen as a negative. At least the phones are not fucking catching fire or exploding. You can just imagine the histrionics online if it was iPhones blowing up on airliners.
Sorry, Samsung, but Amazon already has a patent on a device named Fire.
One poor schmuck (not sure if he slept on a sidewalk for his Galaxy Note 7) claims his SUV caught on fire while his smartphone was charging via the 12V socket. I wonder how he took this pic? Perhaps on his old iPhone:
Here is the winner of the Maven Clickbait Sweepstakes so far – from a CNBC cub reporter:
We are all relieved that tech-crazed Chinese are not selling their internal organs to buy a smartphone, as if this has been an ongoing issue in China. Cha-Ching (no pun intended) – another three cents.
Meanwhile, back in Cupertino, California, Apple is aggressively moving into the real-time medical data business via the iPhone and Watch. Apple Pay is being introduced in Japan (their preferred way of paying for things). A GPS incorporated into the 2nd-gen Watch opens up all sorts of App development (I will be buying one for my golf game).
Faster processors, and other improvements be damned? Do people really think Apple, or any company, is going to invent something with the impact of the original iPhone every goddamned year? It seems that anything less is seen as failure. Never mind the R&D spend, currently estimated at over $10 Billion for 2016.
Am I one of the dreaded Apple Fanboys? Goddamned fucking right I am. I view your hysterical bleating as mildly annoying noise. Perhaps you see no new product coming from an amount of cash that most companies would kill for as a yearly profit.
DISCLAIMER: long AAPL now going on 12 years. If it goes up from here, feel free to thrown rose petals at my feet. If it goes down, your losses mean absolutely nothing to me. I will reinvest my substantial dividends and laugh at you from my Ivory Tower. Trade accordingly.