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What happened in the markets today?  Are you kidding me?  What do you think? Let’s not quibble about what is what.

We know what.

But today I have something different.   A piece from a brilliant work of historical fiction I’ve been reading whilst on vacation.  The book is called Glory in the Name by James Nelson.  It’s about the Confederate Navy in the Civil War and I recommend it highly.  Anyway, the one part I’d like to recreate here (with the indulgence of the author) is a description of the “model Southern Gentleman” circa 1861, just as the shells were lobbed at Fort Sumter.  

The words are from a patrician gentleman from Charleston, SC, who was educated at the U.S. Naval Academy, but who saw his duty with the Southern Cause in the final decision to attack Fort Sumter, in his city’s harbor.  In his own words, a Southern Gentleman speaks of his hometown:

It was where Samuel had learned to be a gentleman, and more to the point, a Southern gentleman.  Courteous to the last.  Studied, urbane.   Personally disciplined — a gentleman, he was taught, did not show womanly weakness of any sort.  Passionately loyal to his country and his state.  Unwilling to suffer even the hint of insult.  Tolerant of the lower classes, appreciative, even, of their labor, but always aware of their place, and his.  Kind to slaves.  These were the things that that made the Southern man, and the instruction was so thorough that those traits became a part of Samuel Bowater as much as his height and the color of his eyes.

Is that not the Monsieur?  How long as the South been awaiting his steady presence, I ask you?  Be thankful, small plebs, that he is kind to slaves.

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Mein gott, I cannot say enough about how well we’ve done today.  Let’s speak no more about it, as it may be seen as “bragging.”

Best to you all, Jacksonian stalwarts.

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The first day of corn-back dollar trading started out promising, but ultimately ended up in a failed “pop” over the 20-day EMA ceiling. Late news out of Central Illinois informs us that the Fed’s newest Moline Corn Repository, while heavily fortified against human intervention — a la “Fort Knox” in the days of gold-backed currency — was most unfortunately sited next to a large hog farming operation. What happened next was true Bernankian justice…

Apparently the sus domesticus hordes resident next to the Corn Repository were overhwhelmed by the late afternoon corn-fruit scent coming from said Federal vaults, and that lure, excacerbated by an early Spring hormonal rutting urge, had the neighboring porcine hordes rending the outlying electric fencing and within moments, consuming the precious American staple (and currency backing) with piggish glee.

By late afternoon trading, one third of the Federal Reserve Currency-backing outstanding was in the belly of some of the nation’s most desireable pigs. The following daily chart illustrates the day’s action — especially the failure of the corn-dollar to break back above resistance– with heat-seeking stoat-like acuity:

That’s two days now that the corn-dollar has closed below $76.00.  Not good news for you dollar bulls (cough! cough! Cain Thaler! cough!).

However, there is a glimmer of optimism available as well.  Late tonight an emissary for the Fed mentioned that since most of the most recent reserve backing is now in the gut of some prized Illinois sows, Chairman Bernanke would announce soon the official newer and stronger “pork belly bacon fat-backed dollar,” later this Fall.

As a sop to certain liberal constituencies, the Chairman has also acceded to locate the new Federal Repository on 125th Street in New York City, next to Sylvia’s.   No further devaluation is anticipated.

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Carry on… most likely with ANV, which has been a star in my portfolio this week, as all Jacksonians should be.

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No, not the markets, although that’s going to happen sometime.  Nope, this is just me banging the kettle drum about the dollar going “pink submarine” again.  Had these charts ready last night, but the great god Westin decided to eliminate my wireless signal in random fashion (curse you, Westin!) in the middle of the night and I was too tired to call down and bitch them out.  

In any case, the chart below is pretty much where we are right now, save that the dollar is even lower ($75.90 @ 9:51 am EST) than it is on this chart:

We are fully through that blue line above, now.   Keep an eye out today, but I’d be surprised if we claw back above it today, and I don’t think the jobs number tomorrow will not give Bernanke any reason to tighten.   I have many favorites, but if you’re interesting in catch up, why not grab some volatility in an appreciating asset class.  Three guesses?

We are through that triangle top right now ($9.95) as I type.   Best to you all.

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Please, do not believe the propaganda.  Yesterday’s Wall Street Journal report regarding the possible rise in rates due to “the end of QE2” is just so much hog swallop over the septic tankard. 

How do I know this?  Because I took a gaggle at this morning’s Case-Shiller Housing Price Index, which — unsurprisingly — continues to suck giant rare Tibetan albino gorilla-monkey balls.   Why unsurprisingly?  Because the Fed has been using your fake money to sterilize bad mortgage debt securities for the last two years now, which has basically hidden the problem of overinflated real estate.  That in turn has prevented the market from deflating in the more precipitous fashion it would take in a more natural setting.

Therefore, we are experiencing the slow hiss of the deflating tire while Bernanke and Co. continue to paste their hastily chewed Wrigley’s Spearmint gum over the hole in the form of reams and reams of newly issue Benjamins.  Patch-by-Benjamin, however, is a crude form of assisting the real estate market, however, and it will almost definitely end in over-inflation of the other asset markets — including most commodities. 

We’ve already been seeing that in cotton, oil, coal and certain industrial metals and agricultural food items, but this bubble will not give our Fed and Treasury masters pause.   They are in thrall to the banks, you see, and when the third or fourth largest banking market in the country is experiencing an eleven year loss in housing equity value, that means the banks are still on the table, with their chests cracked…

And the paddles are out.

Silver and gold are already recovering today.   Be not afraid of “the Shakers.” 

Let them be afraid. 

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You all be well.  I will be on my way south again today and this evening, so I will try to check in via Crackberry.  You know the drill.

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You probably think I’m being metaphorical and yet you’d only be partly right.  Actually, I am drinking from the NCAA Golden Cup this very evening.  You see, for the first time since I’ve been participating in the Big College Hoops Tournament pools, I’ve won my whole pool prior to the first Final Four game being played.  Ridiculous, but true.

How, you ask? Well, it’s largely a consequence of this utterly fuktarded (excuse my bastardized French) 2011 Tournament, where not only did none of the #1 Seeds not make it to the Final Four, but none of the #2 Seeds did either! Sacre Bleu, if I weren’t crazy enough of a homer to recognize the latent maturation of the Kentucky Wildcats’ mostly-freshman team, I’d have had picked zero Final Four teams.  As it is, I picked one, and that proved enough for me to win a large amount of money.

Sometimes life is not fair for the other guy, and I recognize that with humility. I will therefore buy the drinks for whomever is going to pitch a “Go Cats!” party this weekend, using my dirty winnings as salutory payment.

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On to the Golden Cup itself… Zombie asked for a “gold and silver update,” and while I scoff at such short term imprecations, I will humor him in appreciation of his long time one-liner hilarities on our collective blogs here.   My analysis will be based on the chart of the stodgy gold ETF, GLD, which I’ve owned for years but speak little about.  It’s part of my “core,” and therefore almost forgotten in any analysis of my day to day trading interests, as I’ve not interest in selling any for some time now.

That said, GLD’s chart can provide some insight onto the future movements in the precious metal environs, and particularly, the miners.   Note, that despite the great success of the miners recently, GLD has had some trouble breaking free of the $139-140 levels as illustrated below?

Note that since November, the price of GLD has flirted with that Maginot Line of $139, and only recently– in early March–  has it breached the promised land of $140 and higher?   We know our friend Mr. CANSLIM, William O’Neil, will quickly tell you that a higher right side of the “cup” in a “cup and handle” formation, is exactly what we should be looking for to best take advantage of an accelerating price situation.

Well, it seems that’s what we are looking at above, and what’s more, it seems the “handle” Mr. O’Neil is so fond of has also appeared over this last month.   Right now, the dollar is struggling to maintain it’s seemingly false Friday gains, and gold and silver seem to be shrugging off any attempts to sell them down.

That tells me, along with the chart above, that we haven’t long before we get a firm break of the $140 level.  I believe that will “bring down the house” so to speak, in terms of actively traded gold stocks.   While I continue to like silver, I think this week will belong to the gold flavor, like the rapper with the gold teeth and the big clock.

Oh right, that’s all of them. 

Carry on, won’t you?  I like NGD, AAU, IAG, IVN and of course ANV, here.

My best to you all.

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Sure I was away much last week. The same may be true this week.

Does it matter?  I would argue, “no.”

Have I not steeled you for the inevitable g-forces that have tugged at your innards?  Have I not prepared you for the hurricanoes of doubt amidst the gamed speculations?

Well, here’s the test. Those of you who gobbled some gifts up last week (even in my exigent condition, road bound and weary, I grabbed 120 SLW June $35 calls under $7.00), will profit this week.

Those of you who did not will likely dilly and dally some more this week, as that, it seems, is your nature. To your great chagrin, I might add.

Let this be a test then. How many of you have “taken” to the samurai training offered here lo these many months? How many are still trying to play the butterfly’s game?

Pax vobiscum.

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